Make Your Dreams Come True!

Good morning. Happy Friday. Let's zhuzh the pony. I'm gonna give it a second. I've got my really full, overflowing, foamy iced coffee happening. I mean, this is coffee number two. So cheers. Cheers to all of you. Today, I'm gonna get into it with you. It's not gonna be a super long message, but I do have some good notes. And, you guys know, if you were here last week, you know my love of getting into some books and reading, and I'm doing this thing where I download the audiobook and read the book at the same time so I can hear the author's voice.

So I just am, like, loving this method of taking it in. So not only am I reading it. Hi, Marissa. But I'm listening to the author at the same time that I'm reading it. So I'm just gonna give you a couple of highlights. I'm not gonna read two this week. Don't worry. That'll only be, like, once a month. But I'm reading this book called Burn the boats. And interesting story about this. I have a friend who lives in New York City. Marissa. It's not you, but I know you live in New York City, too, and his name is Patrick, and he has a podcast.

This guy is so cool. Who knew in high school when I was in the Sound of Music with him, that he was gonna go on to coin the term or the acronym FOMO and go down in history as, like, one of the coolest dudes ever for coining this term that everyone uses on a daily basis. If you don't use the word FomO in a week, I would be surprised. Good afternoon, junk food junkie. So he happens to be a good friend of mine, and I always tune into his podcast called FomO Sapiens. It's one of my. Hey, Alec. Oh, good to see you here.

It's one of my. Hey, Luke. It's one of my favorite podcasts, and if you don't listen to it, I highly recommend it, because he brings on really cool guests. He doesn't just bring on people that you would expect. He brings on really cool people that maybe don't get the notoriety that they deserve, and then he'll mix in some really well known people. But anyway, he brought Matt Higgins onto his podcast, and I messaged Matt, not really understanding how big he was on LinkedIn, and was just like, hey, I just listened to your interview with Patrick McInnes.

It was amazing. I can't wait to buy your book. And he wrote me back and was like, let me know what you think of the book. Thank you so much for your support. Meanwhile, I. I do some, like, more digging on Matt Higgins. The guy is Uber well known and famous in the entrepreneurial space. I'm shocked that he wrote back to me, but it just goes to show, and I always talk about this, your one text message, one DM, one email, one phone call, one voice note. We've all heard my story about how I picked up Jesse Itzler from the airport through a voice note.

You are one message away. One, like, medium of outreach away from getting to who you want to get to. So, anyway, I finally bought Matt's book. I have. I'm a chronic book starter and not finisher, so hence the audiobook alongside the physical book. I think it's going to help me digest it a little bit more. I can read alongside the author's voice, and then I can underline things and do my sticky notes, which is something that I do in all of my entrepreneurial books. So, anyway. Oh, no sound freezing and lagging.

Hmm. Is that any better? Let me know if that's better. I did a speed test. I had very fast Internet speed. I don't know what's going on. You guys tell me if that's getting any better. I'll wait for another comment. Is that connection any better? Okay, now it's better. I don't know what happened, but we're gonna roll with it. So what I was saying was, I don't know how much you guys caught, but I was saying that your one connection, your one email, your one method, a way of communication away from just reaching out to who you want to reach out to.

So, anyway, all of that to say, I am only, like, three chapters into this book. I'm so glad the connection's better. I'm sorry, you guys. I don't know what happened. I'm only three chapters into this book, and it is already blowing my mind. The experience that this guy has had. He didn't even graduate high school and then went on to law school and went on to work with a major sports team. Now he has a huge investment company, had the opportunity to invest in multiple multimillion dollar and billion dollar companies.

And I'm reading this book, and I'm like, oh, my gosh. It's all about, you know, his tagline is toss your plan B overboard and basically go all in to unleash your full potential. So, anyway, needless to say, there's a lot of great messages in this book, so I just want to share a couple of them with you. And I'm going to be really fast, but I think it's going to be super impactful. So there is an excerpt that he talks about. I'm gonna go to this page, page 40 and 41. And it's. I think it really pertains to going after your big dreams.

So he talks about people fearing our boldness. And I don't know if you've ever run into this situation, but it happens a lot in the female entrepreneurial space where women don't like it when you show up big and huge in the room. I don't know if this happens with men. I'm a woman, so I'm speaking from experience. But when you show up so big and so bright, some people feed off of it. They love it. They want to be around that. They're energized by it. Other people are incredibly intimidated. It really is like a mirror for them.

And they realize what they're maybe lacking by taking a risk or putting themselves out there. And it really messes with their psyche because they're so scared to be that big and to show up as their true, authentic self that they're intimidated by you. And then it deters them, and it makes them feel really scared, and they want to seek to destroy you. So he talks about this syndrome called tall poppy syndrome. It's a term that took hold in Australia and New Zealand, and it refers to the idea that all flowers should be the same size and that if one of the poppies grows taller than the other, it needs to be cut down.

And it talks about how, like, this is the same for people and executives in the room. And, you know, like, people wanting to target somebody who shows up bigger than everybody else in the room. And he goes on to say that a woman got some outreach from some executives in the office space saying what a great job she was doing, and other people got wind of it, and they cornered her in her place of work and threatened her. And that seems a little bit extreme, but it's unbelievable to me that people would want a culture of mediocrity like he talks about in this book.

Those are his words. But that they would want to bring somebody down who's shining that brightly and growing that big because they feel intimidated by it. And my message to you in that lesson is, do not worry about being the tallest poppy in the room. In fact, you should seek to be the tallest poppy in the room and make sure that you are not hanging around the shorter poppies who all want to gang up against you and overtake your poppy garden and make you feel like you shouldn't shine your biggest, brightest self.

And I loved this message that he talks about, because this does happen out there in the world, and that can deter you from your big dreams coming true. And for you, it can deter you from going after your big dreams. And when I read that, I was like, those short poppies need to take a hike, and they need to not be watered by people. Like, why are we watering the short poppies? So don't be a short poppy. Be a tall poppy, and shine your biggest light and shine bright. Another thing that he talks about is going with your gut.

And he talks about, like, the gut sandwich. And I'm gonna go to that page really fast so I don't totally butcher this. Okay? The best leaders make decisions that masquerade as data driven choices when they are actually what I call gut sandwiches. Data sandwiched between insights and intuition that we just can't justify with numbers alone. Okay. I have talked about this multiple times, but your gut is your most powerful tool that you can have in your body. And I think about all the times that I was a people pleaser and didn't go with my gut because I thought, this is what people wanted from me or this is what I'm supposed to do.

This is what society expects of me. But as I'm getting older and realizing that time is the greatest thief and is ticking so fast, and I'm up against the clock for myself, for just the life that I have, I'm realizing that I have to sit with my gut, and I have to sit with my intuition, and then I need to make decisions based on that. So I talk a lot about cutting the noise, and I love that he touches on going with your gut. Because Matt Higgins took a very unconventional road through life. He lost his mom at a young age, and like I said, he didn't graduate high school.

And I love these people. I love the people who took the road less traveled. Maybe it's by accident. Maybe it's on purpose. Maybe it's because life just had a plan for you. But I live for people like that because they have to go with their gut. They have to listen to their gut. They are driven by nothing but their intuition, their gut, their passion, their grit, their perseverance. And when we get messages from people like that that have succeeded and we're on the cusp of succeeding, it's a great reminder that we have it within ourselves.

We have the power within ourselves to do what's best for us and to do what's best for our business or our path in business or our path in life. That's everything from dating, which I'm in the throes of right now. And it is so terrible. But I'm listening to my gut and I'm watching out for those red flags immediately. And old reset five, six years ago, have people pleased and dated a guy for six months, even though I saw the red flags and knew that he wasn't right for me just because it was comfortable for him.

But now, right away, I state exactly what I need. I call people out on their b's right away and I stop communication. I block and I'm like, block and bless. See you later. And so, going with my gut and knowing right away if something isn't, like, sitting well or if I get, like, a weird butterfly in my stomach. Good night, Irene. You're out of here. Goodbye. So the importance of going with your gut, I can't stress it enough. And if other people like Matt Higgins are talking about it, it's validation that you're on the right track and you should stay there.

Okay. The last thing I want to read for you, and then I'm going to address these comments, is this quote. And he writes in the book, this quote that says, when nothing seems to help, I go and I look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock. This is Jacob Reese's advice, by the way. Perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow, it will split in two. And I know it was not that last blow that did it, but all that had gone before. So when nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it.

Yet at the hundred and first blow will split in two. It will split in two. And I know it was not that last blow that did it, but all that had gone before. And I read this quote and was like, oh, my gosh, it takes so many blows to the rock to get a break. And it was a great reminder that you just have to keep on going. Like, no matter what, keep hammering away. Because all of a sudden you will look back and the dots will start to connect and you will get that crack in the rock and you will make headway.

And all of a sudden you'll realize that time went by really fast, even though you didn't think it was in the moment. And my mentor commented, I'll leave you with this and then I'll address these comments. But my mentor commented on a post that I made on his, his post yesterday, and it really. It stuck with me so much that I saved it as my screensaver on my phone. And I have been debating whether or not I want to go to this big event in October. It's a financial expense that I'm not sure that I want to incur, but it's going to be an experience.

And what I realized was, I want to be there because I want to continue to be in the room with the people that inspire me, and I'm going to find a way. So I made a comment and said it took me a minute to figure out my schedule, but I am in. In big letters. And he wrote back and tagged me and said, risacostas. You always find a way, risa. And I was like, drop the mic. Wow. In that one comment, it meant so much more to me than just, I find a way to show up at an event. It was like, you always find a way.

And it's my screensaver on my phone now. Every single time I open up my phone, it's the first thing I see. It's coming from somebody that I love, trust, and believe in, and take advice from, and admire. And it's such an amazing affirmation. Like, you always find a way. And I think that's always my underlying message to you guys is you're always going to find your way. You just have to keep on pushing. And when other people recognize that in you, it's more validating than ever. But you need to recognize that in you.

And I just needed to be reminded of that. I always need those little reminders. So I'm here to remind you, just like he reminded me, you always find a way, and you will always find a way. So, let's see. I've never made a business decision with anything other than my gut. Yes, Luke Higgins is a rock star. 100%. The big choices are always in my gut. Yup. It's their fears of being in the place and position you are. So they try to belittle you. Yes. Don't let them ever drag you down to their level, because that's what they want to happen.

Yeah. I learned that later in my life. I was such a chronic people pleaser that I let people drag me down, and then I let myself feel bad about it, and then I would sit with that pain for so long, and I didn't know how to brush it off and let it go. But let's just brush our shoulders off like Jay Z, right? That's Jay Z, right? Anyway, I also want to leave you guys with one song that I was reminded of today, and it's about relationships, but I think it can apply to business and life, too. And so I want you all to go and listen.

Listen to this and then comment on the community feed or just if you have my cell, send me a message. But I want you all to go and blast the song shut up by black Eyed peas because it's so good. The beat is so good, and it's just like, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. It's all the shut ups. And that's what I want you to say to all the haters drinking the hater aid. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. That's all I want you to say. Anyway, I love you guys. I hope you have an amazing weekend.

I hope this inspired you. I haven't eaten yet today, so I need to go do that. I was a little choppy today. I'm sorry about my Internet connection. I don't know what happened. But I love you guys, and I hope you have the best weekend ever. And tell everybody to shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up. Bye.