Tales From Leadership

Gwentlett here, really excited as your chief motivational officer as well as your executive coach individual that's worked with dozens and dozens of individuals to help manage and guide as we continue to support through various business endeavors. But what I'm really excited to talk about today is trust. Do you know, let me just look up this real quick, right? Do you know that the average person lies four times in a day? The average person lies four times in a day, totaling 1460 lies each year, right?

So the lies can be as grandiose and manipulative as possible, or the lies can be as small as I'm good or I'm fine, right? So can you believe that? So the average person lies four times in a day or 15 total hot lies a year. So if you take a step back and you ask yourself, why do you think that's happening? Like, why do you think people lie? Like, why do you think that? Is it fear? Is it fitting in? Is it being a part of something? I suppose it's all the above. But let's just take work, for example, and working with each other in leadership, right?

How do we make that work? How do we make, so those lies can continue to slow down, that we can churn those lies off? How does that work? Because what's up, Alec? What's up, Chris? Everybody that you hear is like, I don't lie. I've never lied. I've never totally lied. I've never been dishonest. Even saying things like, I'm good or not having a direct conversation or talking behind, in my humble opinion, is just as big as a lie is a blatant, other disregarding lie. So, you know, how do you do that when you, when you have a leadership subordinate relationship and you're building it together?

How can you make sure that those lies go from 1600 lies a year down to, you know, very few is what I think everybody's, you know, goal and dreams are right. And so I think it starts with relationships. I think it starts with relationships. I'm going to give you an example. Let's say you're working with somebody who's your direct subordinate, an individual that you're working with, and their fear might be that they have their single parent, they're a single parent, and their son or daughter is the most important thing in their life, which is awesome.

And it should be, right? And they're a single parent. They're working and we're working together and we're working together in the business and all those things. Well, let's say they're fearful and they're worried about their job if their son or daughter gets sick and they can't make it to work. And the subordinate or the boss has always had this stringent approach to, we got to be here. It's the only thing that we can do is work, work, work 24/7 work. Nothing but work. You know, naturally, that individual might, you know, come up with a white lie or something along those lines because they're fearful of telling the truth, that their son or daughter is homesick.

So it comes down to this relationship that you can have as leaders with individuals that work with you, report with you, that you can be very direct. You could be open, you could be honest. You could tell your side of the perspective. Yeah, that's right. Edge, Chris just said 100% transparency feels really scary. You're absolutely right. I've had some individuals that are reported to me that I've had to, like, dive into a little bit, ask deeper questions, say, you know, are you sure everything's okay?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm good. No, let's go a little bit deeper. Are you okay? Let's talk about that. You know, is there something bugging you? Is there something on your mind? Is there something that you can open up to me about? And before you know it, you'll start peering back the layers and peeling back the layers. But when you get through one of these moments together, and I mean one, and you get to one together as boss subordinate, and you work together, that you can actually, like, get through the muck and solve one of these options together and share.

And share openly and honestly. Before you know it, the next one's easier. And the next one's easier. And the next one's easier. So where I'm going with this today is in order to have trust and in order to limit, you know, the level of lies that, you know, maybe are seen in organizational hierarchies, trees, working with teams, etcetera, I think it comes down to, you know, how well those relationships can get built, how well they can get fostered, and how well, here comes the next one, that that trust is just a part of the fabric of the two, right?

Like, I trust the intention. I trust the intention because words can be churned and manipulated to anybody's benefit. Actions, right, all the things. But can you trust the intention? And if you feel like the intention is off, and if you feel like the intention of somebody that you're working with is off from a manipulative approach or not holding the truth candle in the right light and somebody can't come forward with that level of transparency, then I think you need to run for the hills, right, from a boss subordinate perspective.

And so can you have those conversations? Can you go deep with feedback? Can you have good relationships? Can somebody call you on the phone and say, my son or daughter is homesick and I'm not going to be able to make it into work today? Yes, it's going to cause stress and strife for some other individuals. That's a part of the game. That's a part of business. That's a part of the life. That's not yours to solve. Yours is to be able to tell the truth. The individuals that you work with is to be able to support that and be empathetic to that, to be able to make sure that you can help one another.

So I'm just using that one example today. But what I hope that, that this comes and shines a light to is, you know, our world is living with distrust, right? I mean, I just read the stat that the average individual, you know, lies 1600 times, you know, a year, right? That's on average. And again, it's as simple as saying, you know, I can't even begin to tell you how many times, you know, I've had to direct a conversation where I'm like, how are you? I'm good. And I always stop. And I'm like, are you really?

Like, are you good? Like, let's be honest. Let's dive deeper. I'm fine. Like, no, you're not. Nobody's just fine. Like, let's. Let's dive into that deeper. And before you know it, you're going to foster relationship. When you foster relationship, people end up opening up with more clarity to you. And before you know it, when they open up with more clarity, you know, maybe even conversations become emotional. Maybe even conversations become that they're so open that, you know, you guys see the future together and you help individuals to achieve their goals and their dreams that have zero intention or manipulation on oneself.

So I hope this was helpful today, and I hope it was helpful from the perspective of how can you curb the lies that undoubtedly occur in this world and ask yourself, what was the intention? Was there a relationship? Was it meant to be manipulative? Was it meant to be malicious? Or is it someone who just didn't know how to possibly relay information appropriately because they had fear? And fear is probably a big culprit of telling lies, right? So thank you for your time today. Try to do the best you always can to lean into that direct communication.

Try the best you always can to lean in towards asserting your truth. And if you're really scared and you're really, really fearful of doing it, ask yourself why. Or to the flip side of the coin, if you're an individual that's always being lied to, maybe there's something behind that, too. So have an amazing, amazing day. I hope that was beneficial. Hope that helps you on your leadership trajectory. Or if you're an employee and you're struggling with telling the truth to your boss and or leadership, how can you go maybe more into be truthful?

Maybe it's bringing HR in. Maybe it's bringing somebody in as a third party. Maybe it's helping solve for it that way. So, all right, you guys have an amazing day. Let's all try to cut down 1600.