LIVE w/ Dr.Charryse

Good morning, dear souls, and welcome to Cadre. I'm Doctor Charryse, a licensed mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner and author who is passionate about helping you experience and understand your ability to experience beautiful peace and harmony in every area of life if you do the work. So come sip with me and let's get into it. That first sip is always the best. And for those who are wondering, I am still drinking my rise mushroom coffee. If you've had it, let me know, because I know for those of you who interact with me in different spaces, we've talked about it before.

It's been so good for my gut health. You definitely have to find your combination in order to like it, but it's still good. Quick announcement. Those of you who are aware of my healthy habits, maintaining healthy habits through the holidays course, then the last opportunity to register for that will be this Sunday. There are only 15 spots available. We sold it out once and then we switched to a different platform so that we can increase the number of you that could participate. So we have about 15 more spots and if that's something that you feel like would be helpful to you, I think it's going to be phenomenal.

It is going to be six hardcore, intensive weeks of us staying connected, of building small yet intimate and direct community so that you move from here to the end of the year and to the beginning of the year. Good morning. Without feeling like you're losing ground on the habits and the goals that you've been cultivating all year. So make sure that if that's something that you know you need, that you invest in yourself because you are your absolute best investment. That being said, let's get into it.

One of the things I was thinking about is that I have never really taught necessarily on mental fitness and what it is. And even though you might think, well, I already know men's fitnesses and already know that I need it. Good morning. Good morning to all the beautiful people that are coming on. I still want you to grasp this concept because a lot of times we think, oh, I'm generally fine, and due to the stigma around mental health, it can then make us think that if we don't have some pressing issue, then we don't need anything.

And that's not true. Mental fitness and the concept of being fit or feeling like you can show up in life is in a way that's important to you, is crucial for everyone. So don't ever think that you're above it. What does it mean to be mentally fit? If you heard the intro first you heard me say, I want you to understand your innate ability to operate in peace and in harmony in every area of your life. Here's a few things I want you to consider. One, you can say that you have peace and still be sitting in the middle of your pain.

Let's sip to that. What's a sip? For those of you who are likewise, why does she keep doing that? Typically, every time I say something that might sting a little, I'm going to sip to give you a minute to digest what I'm saying. I'm not everybody's cup of tea, not everybody's cup of Java. Because I am all about pushing you to stop being just a consumer of information, but also consumed to produce. If you are consuming knowledge, then what are you doing with it? So you can honor the space you were designed to occupy.

Because that is what happens when we operate in peace and harmony. So people will think that they're operating in peace because they're walking around overcompensating, overachieving, and feeling like I'm completely proud of myself. I'm fine. I've let things go. In other words, they've pushed things down. That is not peace if you are not experiencing a sense of alignment and harmony. And that's why I use the word harmony. Why did I use harmony instead of balance? Balance means that you believe that your life should be 50 50.

In what world? There is no such thing, right? Other than when we were learning math as little children. Balance is a concept that really puts us in a difficult space because we think that things are supposed to be equal, even in relationships. I'll get into that another time. That's not how things work. But the concept of harmony means how are all of your life domains working together and integrating together? What I love about harmony, and if you've been around me, you know I'm a music person. When you're in harmony, you know that you've got a change position on the keys.

You know that depending upon what key you're in, you might need to place the position of your fingers, the position of your life, the position of your steps in a different place, and that changes or something's going to be off. When we think about the concept of harmony, we're listening for it. We are paying attention for the moments in our life where something seems off. So I want you to consider, am I experiencing both peace and harmony? Is my life flowing together in a way that is allowing you to show up and operate from your highest point of potential in every area of your life, because that's your birthright.

Your birthright is wholeness. I will say that amongst other things, a million times. So when you are mentally fit and you're cultivating it, it means you're functioning at an optimal place of health and well being. But it requires a few things. It requires consistent attention to your spiritual, your physical and your mental health. Even if you don't ascribe to spiritual things. We have a spiritual spirit, we have an energetic being, we have an essence. So you choose which part of that definition that you want.

But I will always include all three because we're integrated individuals. The other thing that I want to do is I want to define mental fitness for you. If you're taking notes, you are more than welcome to write this down, but you do not have to. And all those coming in love that you're here continue to greet one another. It is such a joy. Whether this is your first time or your 50th time with me, I am here for it. Mental fitness defined one of my favorite definitions. Having and maintaining a state of well being and cultivating awareness of how we think, behave, and we feel.

One of the biggest threats to our mindset, to our mentality, to our mental fitness, to our mental health, all of which are different things. I might need to talk about those four different things. I won't do it today, is that we think that it's this quick fix of, oh, tell me these steps, tell me this tip, tell me this tangible thing. And that's not how your brain and your body works. You in order to operate from a place of mental well being at your highest level of harmony and potential, it means you not only have it, you not only understand it, but it means that you are maintaining it.

So if we even think about that in context of this season, if you're an individual that you feel like, hey, I do pretty well until this part of the year, then there's some holes in your mental fitness. Then somewhere along the way, you're struggling because you are not able to maintain your mental strength and your harmony and your sense of peace and your sense of direction when things change. And that is why I am here in your life. I will absolutely repeat the definition. Having and maintaining a state of well being and cultivating awareness of how we think, behave and feel.

So the three key points, and I could probably stay on that definition for one entire life, having and maintaining state of well being. A state is a presence is something that I have to be to be in that state. My state when I wake up can be one way. And then it's my responsibility. It's your responsibility to change. Here's one of the things that will often differ in terms of connecting with me versus other people in this world of mental health. There is a side of me that you will experience on yoga and on meditation that is gentle and kind, which is always there.

But I also want you to understand that there's an aspect of mental well being that requires a little fight, that requires a little push, that requires you to decide, what do I want for myself? I can either talk about it or I can be about it. I'm going to take a sip there. And that's the piece where so many people stay stuck because they do not realize that their inaction, their inaction is an action, creates that state of doing nothing. I want you to think about a hard or difficult moment that you've experienced before.

And mark my word, it did not just magically disappear on its own. You had to make a decision. You had to make a choice. You had to decide that I would get myself. That's right. Unstuck. Right. Getting unstuck means I lift something up, I move something, and I'm willing to be an active participant. That's our work together. I'm all about those of you who want to learn, be educated. I'll give you tips and I'll give you tools and give awareness. But if you are not actively participating in your own well being outside of the time that we spend here together, you will find yourself in the same place this time next year.

And I want more for you than that. Say this to yourself, no one is coming to save me. I have to save myself. No one is coming to make you maintain the state of well being that is your birthright. You have to choose to do what it takes every day, even when you don't feel like it, because you know that you're worth it and because you understand what's on the other side of it. I want to give you one more piece. I'm going to work, I will say, in this space to condense down. So I'm going to do my best to actually keep our lives at 15 minutes.

So one piece that I want to give you is a life example of where mental fitness is so key and important and shows you the difference between whether you understand it or not. Let's say that you get into a disagreement or you get into an argument with someone. You're going through that argument. They say one thing that you don't like and you are ready. You are ready to come back. Maybe you even pause for a minute and you try, but you immediately come back. And then you're going back and forth and back and forth.

And then you realize that you've created this sense of tension, this sense of stress, that your natural default tendency is one of two things or somewhere in between. It's either you shut down or you start getting salty, right? Either one is still the same response. It's just shown the different way. Both people are showing that they're not mentally fit. So for those of you who feel like, oh, I never argue, I just sit back and I don't say anything, then that is an example of you not being mentally fit to use your voice and communicate when someone is disrespecting you.

The other person who is salty and is ready to tell people off, oh, my goodness, that's me. If they talk to me like that one more time, I'm gonna. That is not a strength. Being ready to pop off at someone is not mental strength. It's a defense mechanism. And it's a lack of strong mental fitness. Because here's the power of mental fitness. When you understand what it can be in your life, it gives you the ability to pause. Mental fitness gives you the ability that when someone says something to you, that activates you, that hits a nerve, that disrupts your peace or attempts to disrupt your peace, then what you have the ability and the strength to do because of the work that you did before the moment of crisis, is that you know how to pause and go, hmm, let me think about how I want to respond.

You're aware of your thoughts back to that definition. You're aware of how it made you feel, but it's also going to be that strength to decide, but how do I want to move forward in how I respond and how I behave? So when you are mentally fit and you are exhibiting mental strength, you are operating in present minded awareness and strength versus hindsight. Hindsight means you blow up and then you go back and you have to mend everything. And, oh, I'm so sorry, and let's talk this out for 5 hours, and, oh, we don't want this to happen again.

That's exhausting. And if you find yourself in situations where you're constantly operating in hindsight and you're constantly having to mend certain areas of your life or certain interactions with your life, then you or the other people involved or that situation really needs to think about. We need to work on our level of mental fitness so that we can respond in ways that honor the character, the integrity and the goals that you've set for yourself. So I do want to leave you with one piece that you can walk on.

I want you to take some time to reflect and evaluate. You can do that with later on here in the chat if you're watching this now or watching the replay. But I want you to just begin the process this week of awareness and really asking yourself where the areas in your life that you are showing up and you feel like, you know what, I'm exhibiting some really great mental strength here. But then where are the areas that, if you're honest with yourself, you're inconsistent? You recognize that sometimes I'm able to exhibit mental strength here, but it's not consistent.

And just because it looks consistent on the outside does not mean that it's consistent on the inside. And we'll get into that more next week. I want to let you know where we're headed next week and lives for November will always be on Wednesday. I do want you to tell me this. m. To give my CST people opportunity for it to be a little later. m. m. And you put your response in there and then I'll go from there. But every Wednesday, I will come to you live every Friday starting next week. I will also then drop a motivational video, a pre recorded motivational video that has a name, but I can't give it to you yet because I got a get the last piece of trademarking every Friday.

I want to let you know how you can interact and respond with me. Okay. And then every Monday, oh, three times a week, you have the opportunity to come to this space and interact as you desire. Eat the meat, leave the bones, you take the pieces that are helpful for you and you leave the ones that aren't. And then on Mondays, I'm going to give you what I am just terming the Monday mindset, which means I'm going to come to you and kind of give you a very brief two to three minute focus of the week.

If you're part of my daily text group, you're going to see some cohesion in all of this. You're going to see that if you're showing up here on lives, that our daily texts are going to supplement and support and really undergird the things that we're talking about here. So it doesn't feel a little bit scattered. Okay, I did it kind of. I dashed it down so that it's about 15 minutes. That's the goal I'm going to go for. Maybe 2015 to 20. That is the goal that I'm going to go for. Listen back to this.

If you have any questions, let me know. Again, I want to just remind you, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, you can expect content on Cadre from me. Monday is going to be the Monday mindset, helping you start the week. Think about things to consider, giving you some motivation. There probably even a little bit of meditation on the Monday mindset so that you're going into the week grounded. Wednesday, we come live, we get into it, we get into education, we get into participating in your progress. And then on Friday, I will follow that up with a pre recorded video.

Oh, you're going to love them. The Friday videos are the punch. The Friday videos are the motivation, the push, the straight fire that then is intended to get you through the weekend so that we have these ways to do this. I'm so glad that you're here and that you came. We will continue this conversation next week, and we'll talk about seven signs that your mental fitness is in need of repair. And then, if I have time, I will get into the neuroscience of mental fitness. But if not, then I'll do that for the following week.

But I'm locked. I'm loaded. I'm ready. Continue to share. What I love about being in this space is it's open to all. Invite those who may never walk into the room of a therapist, who may never go to a conference about being mentally anything, but might come in here and dip their toes in the water and spend this time to come sip with me. Love you all so much. Have an amazing, amazing week. And remember, do the work. Don't let life work you. I love you. Bye.