Sunday Serenity (Monday Edition): Compassion, Even When It’s Hard

Happy New Year. Welcome to 2024 Cadre Family. I am Jason Lennox and I'm your resident recovery champion, here to share everything about recovery, mental health, wellness. And this is my live series, Sunday Serenity. And just a recap, if you are new to this or you've just kind of been playing along, wondering what am I really trying to get at Sunday Serenity? Most of the things that I talk about are related to recovery from substance use and mental health and really just wellness in general. But Sunday serenity, why I titled it, that is because I believe that serenity is key to wellness.

I know when my life has serenity, there's not a lot of room for me to be thinking about drugs, alcohol, any of the other things that we can be addicted to. And so because of that, I think that Sunday serenity is good for all of us. And again, when we are in a place where we feel good about what's going on, we're at peace that serenity is flowing. There's just not a lot of searching and seeking externally to fill my cup. So that's a little bit about who I am. Jungfu junkie. Good evening to you. Hey, I was just reading your community chat, and I'm really sorry to hear about your mother.

And I hope you and your family are hanging together and doing everything you can for each other. Hi. Speak wonder. It's good to have you here, Eric, great to see you here too. So that is a little bit about me and what I'm doing here. And the title here this week that I came up with was compassion, even when it's hard. And if you're not familiar with the structure of these, I typically pull stories out. You're welcome. Junk food junkie, really reach out anytime. That's what we're all here for, is each other.

I pull stories throughout my week and talk about them here in ways that hopefully, again, spark some things and bring us examples of how we can create serenity and just be better people to each other. Because again, we're all here together. So this story, I was leaving for Massachusetts, getting ready to get on a plane last Tuesday, the day after Christmas, early in the morning, and I got in the car with an Uber driver. And she was a 26 year old woman who was a single mother, and she had a couple jobs.

m. m. Doing like CNA type work, nursing assistant, personal care assistant, that kind of work. And so we started talking a little bit. And then she goes on to drive for seven, 8 hours for Uber so she can take care of her child, her five year old child. And so I asked her a little bit about her work, knowing that she's in the human service field, as am I, and I'm always interested in that. And she turns out she works for people who are going into hospice and who are receiving hospice care. And I'm always intrigued by that because I think there's so much wisdom and there are so many lessons to be learned from people who are nearing the end of life.

Really. There's just a lot, a ton of substance there in terms of what we could be doing, maybe what we shouldn't be doing, and what goes on, and just a lot of wisdom transfer. So I started asking her, what was the thing? What's the thing? If you had to sum it up, that would be the most surprising to you. What's the greatest lesson you've learned in doing this work? And she said this very specifically, I'm going to read this so that I don't misquote her. She said that the biggest thing I know and learn from the work that I do is everyone deserves compassion.

Even if someone is rude, I still try to be nice. I don't want to be the one person that makes somebody's day worse. Our world is hard enough, and I don't want to make it harder. And it just struck me. And we continued on. And so she talked about times where people got frustrated with her and mad at her, and she was somehow able to keep her cool. And it made me think, one, she's unique in that sense, that to be able to do that and to have that mindset at 26 was phenomenal, in my opinion. Two, it made me wonder, why is it so hard to be compassionate?

Especially when it gets hard, especially when people are being, you know, rude, mean, whatever. There's conflict, things like that. And. Yeah, jung fu junky. They are the compassionate human beings. Yes. And she mentioned. She talked about family, too. It's very fitting. I'm glad you joined. She talked about family and how she just grew to love people in the lives of those in hospice, but. So why is it so hard? I think because we see the world through our own lens. We all have our own little lens.

I've done a lot of study of human behavior and just gone through a lot of self development work and just through a lot of that research, realize and have studied and see. We all have our own perspective and perception and lens that we see the world through. And so when somebody starts exhibiting behaviors toward us that aren't good, it immediately comes through my lens as there's something they're doing to me. And my natural reaction to that is to withdraw, to push away, to get frustrated back. And through the work and understanding that we have that our own lens, it's a little bit easier.

But again, I think this woman, very unique one for her age, too, for just the perspective she had and the people and the stories that she shared. So I just think that there's so much there in terms of why we go down that path. And I think it's an intentional thing. At least they'll speak for me to continue to think about how I can be compassionate and understanding with other people and for other people. And, you know, I've gotten pretty good at that over the years. But again, my natural reaction still can be, what are they doing?

Why are they doing this to me? And, you know, fight, flight, whatever the case may be. And so I think, you know, the ask at the end of the day is how can we incorporate? Maybe this is part of the intention. We get to this point of the year where we all have the resolutions and the things. I don't necessarily come into the new year anymore with resolutions. I just review and revise my life plan, call it my strategic plan of life, and figure out, examine what's working, what's not. And then I create some intentions around some of the things I'm doing.

So how do we create intentionality behind compassion? I think it's required, because, again, when it hits the fan and we're in the middle of conflict, the natural reaction, at least for me, is fight or flight. And this woman taught me an incredible example of somebody who's learned to deal with people and behaviors and the things that come when other people get hurt and that starts to come out. She's learned to deal with that in an incredible way, and she's learned to serve our world, the people who are at the end of their time, and their families, to junk food junkie's point.

So I just ask us, how do we consider implementing, incorporating into our lives as 2024 gets going here? Day number one, the compassion needed for all of us just to get better together. Because her biggest point was I could be the last person that someone interacts with. That interaction that I have with someone could be their last. And I don't want that. I don't want that person leaving this world in a bad state because, because of me. And so she's learned to channel that and speak wonder. Yes, compassion is proactive.

We go into the world mindful of extending grace to people. Yep, we think about that and we always come from that place. And even when we get caught up and it gets a little bit harder, it is easier and it happens a little quicker to bounce back to the place of people are generally good intentioned, well intentioned, and things just happen to all of us. So again, I ask you to consider how you can incorporate compassion into your own lives and think about the people who, you know, may not interact with another human after you.

It's just an incredible perspective that I learned from this woman, and I just continue to look forward to learning. I love those Lyft and uber ride conversations. I'm always interested in people and where they're at, what they've learned, and what wisdom they have because they could turn into a live stream here, you know, just a week later and hopefully can impact some other people. And one last comment. Junk food junkie. No New Year's resolutions. One thing different or something you've been wanting to do for 30 days each month?

Love it. Brilliant. I gave up on the resolutions a long time ago. I have some good practices and I just look at those and thank think about you. The one, two, or maybe even three things that I can do. Cause I know beyond that it gets a little bit hard. So look forward to 2024 together. If you have anything that you want to chat about, if you'd love to hear about, if you'd want in one of these live streams, please comment, send a message, do whatever this is for you, this is. Hopefully you hear that I come here to share stories, to share experiences with you so that we can all learn together.

Would love to incorporate anything that you all are thinking about. So have a wonderful week. I hope you all get back into the swing of things and that you're excited and rested and fresh and ready to go. And if you're not, that's okay, too. I hope that that comes soon. Junk food junkie, I know it's got to be tough going for you right now and again here for you. Look forward to working together and look forward to sharing with you all as we move through this beautiful year. Have a great week, everyone, and we'll talk to you very, very soon.

Bye.