Mental Health Matters 🧠 - Ask me anything!

What's up, Cadre fam? Evan here, your resident mental health and addiction therapist. This is mental health matters because mental health is important, and we're going to be discussing matters around mental health. This is the AMA episode I do every other week, which is ask me anything where I go to the proverbial mail bag and answer any questions from the Cadre fam or any others who follow any of my stuff, compile those questions and bring them to you. And hopefully, we get quite a few people coming in and asking their own questions, creating a lively discussion, and we'll have a little bit of fun.

So, anyway, the beacon has gone out. We'll see if we can get some folks coming in. But in the meantime, I could throw out a couple topics that perhaps you would be interested in. And the first one was about folks with. With ADHD experiencing higher levels of frustration, maybe even anger, irritability, than other people. So this has come up a couple times. Once with a friend who asked me about this, who has ADHD. She's like, hey, I noticed that sometimes these certain situations, they seem so small, just, like, frustrate me.

Is this, like, part of my ADHD? And I did a video on this, like, a. A long time ago that got a good amount of engagement of people being, like, they could relate with it. And the theme of that video was that for someone with ADHD, there could be, like, an absolute catastrophe. Like, literally and metaphorically, there would literally be, like, an earthquake going on or something. And sometimes they may actually thrive in that chaos. For, for example, folks with ADHD sometimes make really good, like, emergency responders, whether that's, like, search and rescue, military people who are really good in these, like, extreme emergency type situations where they need to be able to zone in, think fast, and very.

I mean, there. And this is not just, like, anecdotal. Like, there's, like, research that shows a lot of folks do with ADHD thrive in these intensive environments, and they're highly stimulating, right? Whereas many people could be in that situation, not just get angry, but, like, be completely overwhelmed. And so sometimes with a situation that may make someone you would think would make someone super, something really, really bothersome, sometimes that may not impact them to the same way in which something very minor might I call them, like, these surface irritations, mosquito bites, versus, you know, huge catastrophes.

And sometimes those types of situations and, you know, triggering events can become far. Can feel far worse for individuals with ADHD. So very often it's because these things are, like, maybe distracting or they're trying to accomplish a goal, yet there's all these things pulling them away, all these obstacles in the way. Because with ADHD, there's a lot of, it's like frustration is a very big emotion that individuals ADHD struggle with. It's just like these frustrations not being able to push past certain obstacles that get in the way.

And that could be extremely disorienting, disregulating, you know, it could be like, all right, I need to send out this email, or I turn my computer on and, okay, it's that my password's not working for somebody, I have to restart it. And it's just like these little series of things. And I'm sure anyone could relate with, you know, these frustrations, but sometimes, like, it could send folks with ADHD into a full on rage. You know, they'll take their computer, throw it across the room when something seems so small and insignificant.

And like, with adhs, like, folks with ADHD are like everyone else, only more so. And I use that phrase for quite a few different disorders or whatever else you want to other types of folks or whatever, because it just like, you'll be able to relate with a lot of these struggles. Folks with ADHD have, however they experience, they get experience these things in a much more intensive rate. It becomes much more heightened. There's much more of a sensitivity. Use this for people who are very sensitive in general.

They experience everything else like everyone else, just a little more so. And that's why I think sometimes people get a little frustrated in and of itself. Of like, folks talking about ADHD on social media, like, yeah, well, yeah, I'm frustrated too. What's. Of course, that's frustrating. But again, these things happen to extremes, I think another way of looking at it, too, where there's a lot of overlap with ADHD and. Sorry, my mind is going blank today. Oh, yeah. So, like, ADHD and autism, for example, you think of it like this way.

Like, maybe you're aware that folks with autism often are really hypersensitive to certain types of stimulation. That could be really disraeli. It could be like the texture of something. It could be sounds, sensory input. It could be deviations from a routine, deviations from how they view things should be. It could be like with rules or anything like that. So these things that are, let's just say, like, are out of place or particularly unappealing to them. And that could cause, like, sometimes anger, rage, debilitation, you know, being able to push past that.

Right. So I think that's a good way to look at it with ADHD, too, is some of these minor frustrations. Because with folks with ADHD, there's just certain things that they do not like doing these things that seemingly like, yeah, well, no one likes opening the mail, but, like, sometimes it just becomes paralyzing. So when you have a lot of these frustrations that for you are like almost these insurmountable obstacles, then you can start to see why the frustration could be so intensive. It's these deviations from what they expect.

Deviations from what? Deviations from living the way in which they want to in a given moment just throws their world off. So I think that's why. I think that's probably the best explanation I could think of for why we may observe that phenomenon with folks with ADHD and ourselves or with others. And that to me, when you put all that together, makes a lot of sense. So speaking of being like everyone else, only more so, let's talk about borderline personality disorder, which is a basically as a reaction to trauma, right?

Having a sensitive personality, experiencing childhood trauma typically, and then having struggles in life with your own emotional regulation, attachment and relationships, substance use and other forms of risky coping. Right. Kind of put together self harm, suicidal ideation. It's kind of like a cluster of symptoms that make this personality disorder, which is an ingrained set of thoughts, behaviors and beliefs outside of the norm of one's society and culture. So basically, these individuals having their personality's not always the best word for it, but kind of just the way they operate, think, feel, behave in a very ingrained manner based on some of these experiences.

I had, sorry, blank deficits. I'm like, oh, wait, I just thought of a good idea for a video. Quiet BPD. And when I say quiet BP, so there's like different types of BPD, I mean, really, there's technically not. But sometimes folks use the word like a quiet BPD, which works like it's much more internal where you would never really know it, that they exhibit these, like maybe the behaviors they do in secret. They put a lot of that, like, outward anger inward towards themselves. So you would never really see it.

Whereas with some folks, it's quite obvious because there's so much dysfunction in their life and their relationships, it's not happening behind the scenes. And I guess the initial question, we're dividing this up in different ways anyway, but what does that look like in men? And so very often it isn't quiet in men, it's not like they just keep it to themselves. Very often it is very overt. Just as much as it may be in women, it's just we don't really think of it the same way. And we just, very often certain disorders we look at as more masculine or feminine.

For example, narcissistic personality disorders, more thought of as a male disorder, even though plenty of females have it and vice versa. With BPD, I worked with a lot of men. With BPD, it just doesn't get caught as much because we're not looking for it. Same thing with women and autism. It's thought to be more of a male disorder. ADHD more of a male disorder, autism more so than ADHD. And some of these things are prevalent more in men than women and vice versa. So we just, so we stereotype, which we should not really do because very often, let's say it is 70 30, that's still a lot of percentage of women or men that would have a given disorder.

So it just sometimes just looks a little bit different. So for like, BPD, you see a lot of the same things as far as, like, maybe like, self may not look at self harm. For some they do, but a lot of times it's, it's not caught because it's like, okay, this person's acting like very angry or rageful. Like, okay, well, that's what guys do when they're angry. They act jealous. A lot of guys are very jealous. Right. And so we don't really view it in that same capacity as connecting this as a pattern, a deeply ingrained, problematic pattern of behavior that stems from childhood trauma.

Just, oh, that's just how they are. And so we don't really view it the same way as a disorder, something that needs to be treated and why it doesn't get picked up on quite in the same way that it probably could, would, and should. And so then the last quick topic, I did some videos recently about different medications. Now, again, before we go through, I'm not a doctor. I don't prescribe these medications. I just work with a lot of folks who are on them. I've been on some of these myself, and I work with folks again who are on them.

And very often I have to be the one to refer people to get that med counsel. So I need to have a background understanding of these things. And as a therapist, typically I'm going to be seeing a client, client more than their psychiatrist. So I'm the one who's kind of observing what's going on a little bit more. And I mean, in a perfect world, client's doing therapy more regularly. They're seeing their psychiatrist. Maybe at the beginning they should be seeing them more until they feel more stable, until they get on the right regimen.

But I find a lot of people, and this is just kind of in general with healthcare, is that, you know, we need to be our own advocates. And it's really important as healthcare providers to, you know, have a responsibility if we're giving someone a medication or we're recommending a course of action to thoroughly explain why, but also the benefits and the risks of anything that you're doing. And that may seem obvious, but I'm, but I find, like, too often it doesn't happen. So whether that's people I work with or my social media followers or people on here where maybe I'll talk about the side effect of a medication, and they didn't know that.

And so they were put on the medication, but were not made aware of what those side effects were, especially for some that get experienced at a very high rate. For example, certain medications that cause increased appetite and waking. A lot of people go onto a medication and they didn't know that. Maybe they had a background with an eating disorder. And so that would be something you'd want to think of as a provider of, like, okay, is this going to be the best, or should I, you know, warn this person?

But then maybe if I warn them, well, then they're not going to take it, even though they may need it. So it can be very complicated and reasonable, maybe why. But it is important to know what were going on beforehand. So I did a video on seroquel, right, which is at a lower dose of sleep med. That could be pretty common. A lot of people get put on that in, like, treatment or in psych units is a very common go to. And that one could cause, you know, very high likelihood of increased appetite. Youre usually taking it at night.

So especially at night, you get the night munchies, and you're never craving anything healthy. It's never like a salad, you know, it's like a bowl of cereal with, like, peanut butter and chocolate swirled, you know, just, it's never, it's always something sweet and fatty. And, and then all of a sudden, people gain 2030 pounds and they're like, what the h***? You know? And that could really affect someone's self esteem, right? So if we're doing these medications for mental health and we're giving folks certain meds, not to say they shouldn't be on the med, but if certain people are having those side effect reactions, that needs to be something more explicitly talked about and observed and taken, because there's often alternatives that may not.

And so for anything, there are the benefits and the risks, and not everyone for certain, even if there's a high likelihood, not everyone does have this. So when I post videos about, you know, cerebral making people hungry, most people get on there. Yep, yep, uh huh. Yep, sure. 100%. Me, I gained this much weight, too. Da da da da da. And I think the numbers, like 50, 70% of people, then a lot of people on there were like, no, it was great. Worked for me. Never made me hungry, passed right out or, you know, had a little snack that was healthy, passed out, and I was fine.

So it just really is different. So it's important to just understand what that looks like for everybody and why that may be different. Yeah. So having those conversations with your provider, making sure you understand, even though your doctor is a highly educated, well trained professional. I heard someone actually on a podcast this morning talk about this, where he's like, I have to be a soccer mom for my own health. Right? So you have to, like, perpetually advocate, you know, kind of like the mom who goes to school, like, my son needs extra time, or like this.

Or, you know, you kind of have to do that for yourself because it is easy to get lost in the system if you just nod and say yes to everything. Because we healthcare providers make mistakes. Quite. I've had that happen. My own care where a doctor may recommend something, I'm like, wait, that doesn't make sense to me. Like, oh, yeah, you're right. Sorry I missed this on your chart. It's like, you could have just recommended a d*** surgery that I didn't need. So it's important to be able to advocate for yourself, to get a second opinion and to just be fully aware of it.

It is the obligation of a healthcare provider to adequately explain their reasoning and for you to understand that. Hey, what's up? Good night. And that is right, this is my first live stream from down under in Strahlia. If you're like, why is he wearing, like, a pastel colored shirt, short sleeves, some shorts in the winter? That's why I escaped. Anyways, so, yeah, those are the three topics. ADHD, frustration, personality disorders in men, and med side effects. So anyway, I'm actually gonna make up for lost time.

So I'll probably be on in a couple days. I'm gonna do two live streams this week, two next week, and then get back to my normal schedule now that I am here. All right, folks, Sunday night for you. Hope you have a good night. You don't have those Sunday scaries. Tomorrow's going to be just fine. And I'll see you in a couple of days. See you.