Expired Mindsets 🧠 w/ Dr.Charryse

Good morning. What is up, my people? Hello, Khadra sphere. Let me lift us up a little bit. Hope everybody is doing well. I'm gonna warn you, I am so hype. First of all, I haven't done a live on a Saturday in years. It feels amazing because I pretty much don't have anything, you know? Well, I always have something to do, but it's just a different feel than midweek. And I realize that's just the energy is different, so it is what it is. Let me know you're here. Let me know your win for the week. I should have played the song.

All I do is win, win, win. No matter what, whatever beverage that you are choosing. Cheers and yes, Jackie, happy holy Saturday to those that celebrate. It's a beautiful weekend. It's a beautiful day. And I'm so glad that because it's the weekend and it's a little bit later that this is a time that some of you who don't normally get a chance to connect with me get to come. Okay, I have an announcement in case anyone on the Cadre team watches this. We need a cup. We need a Cadre cup. I'm sure you're all thinking, doctor Charisse, you are already covered in Cadre drip.

But a cup in a color just. It just adds a little spice. I prefer red, even though it's not in your color palette. I'm messing. Just giving everybody a chance to find us today. Today I am excited about what I want to share. I'm always excited. We know that, right? I love outdoors. I love the water. I love trees. And so this is an analogy that I feel like is super, super helpful in terms of being able to add and connect to your life. Oh, wow. You're reading my book. Which one? Oh, expired mindsets.

This would definitely fit within the line of expired mind sets. Is that Serena? Good morning. If you went to recalibrate, everybody, give Serena some love, because she did her thing. All right, so let's get into it. There is a concept that I've heard and used in the world of business, and I was talking about this with a client earlier this week, and we were essentially talking about the difference between a propeller and an anchor. So that's how we're going to focus on things for today. Let me give you a little education, because that's what I do, that's what I enjoy, and I really want to create some background.

A propeller. And when we think about the way it looks and how it functions, it's a rotating hub that has radiating blades now I could stop there. I am going to take a sip. Every time I sip. You may want to because that means something is coming. Rotating radiating blades. Let me just go ahead and bring it out. What that essentially means is in order for you to propel in life, there are things that have to be on rotation. There are habits, there are mindsets, there are actions that you will need to take on a rotating basis.

But that rotation needs to have some blades, it needs to have some cut. You will have to cut through some crap, some people's crap, some situations, in order for you to be able to move. So movement propelling forward in any area of your life requires force and requires you to repeatedly do the things that are necessary for you to move forward. So side question is, what do you need to cut through or cut out that is keeping you from propelling forward in any area of your life or specifically in your own mindset?

Get that in your head and in your mind. Propellers also enable a vessel to move forward across the water. I've shared so many things that talk about the similarities or the parallels to life and the sea of life and water knows its edges, but can also be calm and then sometimes a mess, a tsunami. But propellers help move a vessel forward and cut through the choppy spaces and get you from one place to the next. So I also want you to keep in mind, if you do nothing, you get nowhere. Coming, listening.

Enjoying is wonderful. But if you don't do anything to rotate this message, to apply it and allow it to cut through the areas that you need to cut out of your life, you won't go anywhere. You're just going to be sitting on a boat wondering why it's not moving and why you're still on the edge when you want to be somewhere else. In the world of business, a propeller is a person or a system that creates transformative and sustainable change. So even when you think about your professional life, because your personal and professional are always interconnected, because it's you and both ends, are you in a place that allows you to be a propeller?

Are you using your God given talents and abilities to propel an initiative forward? Or are you just taking up space and being an anchor? An anchor, if you think about it. I loved researching this because I'm a nerd and I'm for it. I even think about the shape of an anchor that looks like a downward arrow. And what caught me in the whole process of an anchor is the fact that it is attached to the boat. It's attached to the vessel. What's attached to you that has become an anchor. What thoughts, what criticism, what mindset, what habits are attached to you and they've become an anchor.

But it gets better. Let me take a sip. If someone is in a boat, the anchor doesn't slow them down until they pick it up and throw it overboard and drop the line. So that just blew me away. Stay with me. There will be things, situations and dynamics that are attached to you. If the anchor is there and you don't touch it, you don't mess with it, you don't give it energy, it doesn't slow you down. But the moment you pick it up and go, oh, I'm just going to use this for a minute, I'm just going to throw it over the boat.

I'm just going to pick up anger because I'm afraid. I'm just going to pick up fear. I'm just going to pick up anxiety, even though I see it and I don't need to touch it, I'm just going to pick it up and do something with it. And that is the moment that that anchor lowers and anchors dig into the ground and stop movement. That's what they're intended to do. And then we're stuck. We're in a place that now we've got to figure out, do we have enough energy to pull up that anchor and that attachment and stop allowing it to keep us still?

Now, if we look at this from a kind of a broader spectrum, there are definitely times when you need to be still. But being still and being anchored are two different things. You can be still in a calm body of water, but still be moving, because when it's calm, there's only very light elements that are surrounding you and it allows you to maintain while you reset, while you recalibrate, until you decide to move forward. But the moment you switch to rough waters, then you have a problem. So if you find yourself in places and situations and relationships and mindsets and habits that are choppy and stormy, fear is going to make you pick up something that you're attached to and throw it overboard, but then it's going to anchor you.

And so what you thought was a strength because this is scary for me, then all of a sudden becomes a struggle because it's lowered you down to the depth of that sea. And now you're frustrated because you cannot move. What is anchoring you right now? When it's time for you to propel, what are you attached to? Who are you attached to? What identity are you attached to? What mindset what habit, what pattern, what thought are you so attached to and using and you keep picking up and throwing out that it has you stuck.

I'm gonna stop. I told you I was hyped, and I'm gonna take a sip. In the world of business, an anchor is a person or a system that impedes progress. You can take that and apply that to your work world, your vocational life, in whatever way that you want. But I always want to intersect the two. So you have a choice today, every day, really, but I'm only responsible for this moment. Do you want to be a propeller, or do you want to be an anchor? And are you willing to take a look at the anchors that you've set into the ground, that you've allowed to keep you still, and are you ready to pull them up and go, okay, enough.

You might have to be in the boat because I don't know how to completely get rid of you yet, but my hands are off. Anchors are a form of deceit. They're the habits, the mindsets, the thoughts, the people, and the systems that you believe are going to save you and help you. But instead, they're slowing you down. They're keeping you from moving forward in the ways that matter to you most. And if that happens, only you can pull up that anchor, and you have to decide what that looks like for your life.

How do you move this from thought to action? Before I give you six habits that can be anchors to your personal growth, you. Sometime this week, take a piece of paper and write down propeller, an anchor, add an s, propellers, anchors, and identify what are the things in your life that are helping you cut through and move forward. Where are you being a propeller in your life? So outward and inward. The things, the people, the systems, the relationships, and your personal habits that are propelling you forward.

And then who are the anchors? What environments? What situations? What relationships, what thoughts, what mindsets? What habits, what shows, what foods? What habits of eating food and movement, or lack thereof. What health habits are anchors in your life? Even good health habits can be an anchor in your life if you become too attached to them, if you don't know how to function when you're unable to have access to them, if it throws you off and you cannot flow and be flexible and still ride the wave, even good things.

Being a helper can be an anchor if you're in the wrong sea juice. Six habits that are anchors to your personal growth. Number one, being overly critical of yourself. I'm probably gonna need to sip after each one of these just to give it a chance to settle in your spirit. Being overly critical of yourself, anchor deep, dig, drop slow. Impedes movement because criticism doesn't cut through and propel you forward regardless of what you believe. That's for those of you who think, well, I feel like when I'm hard on myself, I do better.

Negative. You beat yourself up and bully yourself into action temporarily, but you don't even enjoy it because you've been so critical of yourself that even when you're doing well, if the criticism still exists, you don't see your greatness. Number two, compare and despair. So you criticize yourself, and sometimes this goes hand in hand. You compare your life, your habits, your movement, your progress, the rate at which you are propelling in life, your stage, your season, with the people around you.

And that comparison moves you right into compare and despair. Comparison is not healthy under any circumstance. There's nothing wrong with looking at what someone else is doing that may be in a similar situation if you're able to look and learn. But compare and despair is opposite. Look and learn means, man, they are so amazing at writing down their goals every day. I want to do that. I want to see how they incorporate that. I'm motivated, I'm encouraged by watching them in action. I'm looking and I'm learning, and then I'm applying it to myself.

Compare and despair automatically means that you're looking at somebody else, and your core thoughts are, they are better, they are worthier, they are more deserving, they are enough. You are not. And it leads you to a place of despair which isn't on them, it's on you, because that is rooted in an anchor of insecurity. I'm gonna sit. Three. Lack of planning. Oh, I felt that one. I said that, and I felt some of y'all go. Lack of planning will be an absolute anchor in your life. Think about this. If you wake up every morning and get into your symbolic boat to live and exist in the sea of life without planning, you are setting yourself up to be taken out by any change in conditions.

Waking up and not planning is like saying to yourself, I expect that today is going to be perfectly sunny and calm with no breeze. Where? When? With who? You didn't check the weather. You didn't check the conditions. You forgot to grab your life vest, all the tools and the things that you need in order to be successful. You did not prepare. You did not plan. You didn't prep your food. You didn't move your body to help burn out some of that excess anxiety that you woke up with and you expect to propel through the day.

Well, okay. Make it make sense. Number four, playing it safe with small thinking, underestimating your ability, playing too small, dialing down to make other people feel better, is an anchor that will keep you out of the growth that is your right. It will keep you on the other side of your purpose or only existing in your purpose in very small amounts. It's like tipping your toe into the water, but never really being able to get all the way in the boat and keep moving because you're so worried about making sure that everyone else is okay that you keep playing small.

You were not created to play small. Small doesn't have to look big. It doesn't mean loud. It doesn't mean boisterous. It doesn't mean scary. But it means upright. It means shoulders back. Heart open back flat. Chin up. Eyes forward. Voice clear. Communication. Direct side question for reflection. Where are you playing small in your life and at whose expense? So, yeah, maybe it's keeping other people ish at bay, but people gonna people, whether you play small or not. So you might as well beat you.

Number five. Seeking approval. I'm a sip. We all have an innate desire for belonging, to feel connected and valued. That is appropriate. But it is most appropriate when it comes through our own cup. First when we wake up and pour into our own cup of approval. So then, as we walk throughout the day, whatever we receive or don't receive doesn't impact our state of approval. But when you seek approval to a degree that is too attached, too connected, or to unhealthy sources and systems, it will destroy you because you won't get it.

And if you do get approval, it comes with conditions. And is that really approval? When people are going, I'm only going to give you crumbs unless you do exactly what I want and the way I want it, even when that's not right, that's gaslighting, that is not approval. Take inventory in your life. Side action. Where are you seeking approval? In places that have already told you it's not going to give it to you. Where are you seeking approval from? Sources that are feeding you crumbs and leave you starving.

Make your own food. Eat your own words and thoughts of approval, because no one knows how to satisfy that more than you or more than Jesus, if that is someone that is a part of your life. And number six, running on fumes. Running on fumes is a habit. It is a pattern that will anchor you in a way that can be so costly, constantly going overriding your needs, overextending yourself, honoring the needs of other people at the expense of your own. Running on fumes. And you're paying the price because your appetite is different.

Your brain is foggy, your emotions are all over the place like a rollercoaster. Your body is filled with inflammation from the increased cortisol and stressors that are there. Your weight can't stabilize. Your energy is off. Your consistency is struggling. So for some of you who are listening to this and you're trying to figure out, well, how can I be more consistent in this area? And why does this keep happening to me? Because you are running on fumes. And as a result of that, you are anchored because you're tired.

Not just physically tired, you are emotionally exhausted. And you deserve better. But only you can set yourself free. I have given you multiple ways to move this from thought to action. Knowledge is not power without application. Don't take this moment, don't take this feeling and go, oh my gosh, that was amazing. And then move on with your life. Take some of those side actions, side reflections, propellers and anchors, and reflect on it throughout the week. Now, I'm sure that there are also some of you that are like, okay, now what else do I do with all of this?

m. For those that are listening live or replay it as it comes and we'll continue this and I'll talk about habits that propel you in powerful ways. But until we meet again, have an amazing day. I'm so glad that you came. Continue to listen throughout the day. There's a few other contributors that are going to come on today and talk about personal growth. Sundays are all about self care. And then I will be back next week. You're fabulous. You're amazing. And I want to tell you as many times as I possibly can, you are enough.

Don't ever doubt it. All right, see you soon. You, our.