Sunday Serenity (Monday Edition)

Good Monday evening, team Cadre, Cadre Sphere. Thanks for joining in. Usually I do Sunday serenity. I was on a plane last night, so that was not going to happen. So here we are. Monday version my name is Jason Lennox and I am your resident recovery champion here to talk about all things recovery and how wellness and mental health and just general well being fit into that. And I want to tell a little bit of a story tonight and start there for those who might be new and haven't participated, I really talk about, again, I'm in recovery, but talking about ways in which we really maximize serenity, relationship satisfaction, mission, purpose in our lives, because I believe that those things are what keep us moving forward in this world and not falling back into some old behaviors.

But so I want to tell a little bit of a story. I was somewhere around October of 2011, and it was a Sunday evening. Ironically, Sunday serenity. There was not a lot of serenity at that time, but it was Sunday evening, and I'll never forget the night. I was sitting in the parking lot of a Walmart, sitting in my white Oldsmobile intrigue, and I was staring out my windshield, looking at the sun setting, and I was really wondering how I was going to make it another day. I had been in recovery for almost a year at that point, but I had gotten to a place where I couldn't imagine continuing on in the life I was living.

I was miserable. Things were just not going well for me mentally, so I couldn't imagine continuing down the path I was on. I also couldn't imagine going back to the life I had lived previously. I had so much shame and guilt just about thinking, even about going back to that life. And I didn't want to let the people down who had put so much in for me to get to that point. So here I am, miserable, wondering again, almost a year in recovery and back to a place where it feels like dying might be the better option.

And I ended up going to dinner the night before with a friend who I'd never really met before. His name was Jay. And we had. I shouldn't say we hadn't met, we just hadn't interacted a lot. But he was at the dinner prior to the meeting we were going to. So I remembered him when I was in that moment. And I always knew this guy had like a. He just had a peace and a way about him that always made you feel better. And you knew when he was talking about having solved this problem in his life with drugs and alcohol, you knew he was telling the truth.

So I gave him a call, and I was frantic. And I said, jay, I'm in such a bad position. I'm in such a bad place. I really. I don't know what to do. And he said, come over, put the car in drive, and get over here, and we'll talk about it. So I went over there, and I'm unleashing on this guy, and he is. He's saying, jase, it's gonna be all right, man. We're gonna do some work. We're gonna get through this. It's going to be all right. And I just thought, you don't know what's going on inside my head, though.

It's not gonna be all right. Anyhow. I fast forward a little bit. I trusted him. We went through. We did some work, really. Some deep work on some of the past, stuff that I had to clean up, and just some of the things that were really plaguing me inside. And because of that work, within a couple months, I had experienced a feeling of relief that I had never experienced in my life. I'll never forget it. I was in a hallway. It was a Saturday evening, and I could see the snow coming down through the hallways.

December at that point. And I just remember in that moment, feeling like, it's over. I'm not having to fight this anymore. I'm not waking up thinking about whether or not I'm gonna go back to drugs, go back to alcohol. And so the fight was gone. And it started with this call I made, this man. And so there are a couple lessons I want to pull from that. First of all, community, and second of all, purpose. And I talk a lot about these things, but I really want to dive into community. This guy, who I'd never really spent a lot of time with, was one of the people.

He was there. He was somebody I made the call to. And had it not been for him that night? I don't know if I'm here talking to you all. And so I had to know, and I had to surround myself with people who I knew could help me. And, you know, once I got through that and had the experience that I had and got to the other side, I knew that I could be like JJ. He had struggled just like me, and he had gotten to a place where he found a solution. And so now he made it his purpose to be the community. The community was there for him.

Now it was his purpose to be the community for others. And I got to experience that. And I think the community, for me, is so much more important. The community. I think about it like this. I was drowning in life for, you know, I'll say eight years, the better part of eight years. I was homeless. I was everything less. And I spent much of most days wishing that my life was over and thinking about how it could be over. And that was no fun way to live. I was drowning in life. And what happened when I found recovery is there was a community there.

And the community of people in my life kept me afloat long enough. They brought me back up just a little bit where I wasn't drowning so much. They kept me afloat long enough to teach me how to swim on my own or to show me that I already knew how to swim on my own. And so community kept me. And then I found purpose. And what purpose did again? That was me realizing I can swim on my own. Not only that, but I can teach others how to swim. And so those are two critical lessons I continue to think about.

And it doesn't mean that because I've gotten to a place, the community saved me, the community got me there. Purpose really propelled me into the next level that I don't still need. Community. And I'll give one more story as an analogy here. I must have been 1011, and we were up north for a family trip, annual trip. My brother, my older brother and I jumped from a boat. We were out doing some tubing and hanging out with the adults, and we said, we'll swim back to shore. We can make it. Are you sure?

Yeah, we'll make it. So I jump out. My brother jumps out behind me. I barely make it back. I mean, I remember my tippy toes hit that sand, and I was feeling some kind of way like I was out of it. And I heard my brother and I turned back, and he was not going to make it. He was bobbing up and down. So I turn back around and I go back out to him. And as I'm trying to support my brother and be that community and lift him up, all he knows how to do, because he's just trying to survive, he grabs me and pulls me under.

He's trying to keep himself afloat. And my point in that is then Rodney, the guy who's driving the boat, noticed it, thankfully, and flew up, flew back to shore with his boat, jumps off the boat with life jackets in each hand, saves both of us, truly, like, we both could have very well drowned that day. And my point there again is just because I get to a place where now I get to help people learn how to swim, I try to coach, I try to teach. I still need my community. And, you know, I think the biggest thing I learned through the purpose and through the rest of my life is that when I start to focus on the bigger things in the world, the rest of the world, and not so much of myself, life inherently gets a lot better.

Self actually improves more when I'm focusing on it less. And, you know, I think so much of that has to do with community. So I want to end with this. I want you to think. I'm going to pause here, and I want you to think of the first three people. Now, these could be people that are struggling, and, you know, they're struggling. These could be people that have helped you when you're struggling. But I want you to think about three people, three people in your life right now that means something incredible to you.

And again, they could be struggling, or they may. Perhaps they helped you when you were struggling. I'm gonna give you 510 seconds. I hope you come up with them sooner than that, but I'm going to pause and give you that time. All right, so, three people, hopefully, you found three people in there, and, you know, whether they're the ones struggling or they're the ones who have supported you, again, either struggling or not struggling, those are the two groups of people I'm talking about here. I want you to go talk to them.

I want you to go tell them, you know, what I'm thinking about you. I know maybe things aren't the easiest right now, but this is what you mean to me, and this is why you mean this to me and just wanted you to know that. Or perhaps it's somebody, and I have a lot of practice. I like to do this all the time. Perhaps it's someone who's done something incredible for you. Those are even more meaningful. To let people know what they actually mean, what they are to you, who they are for you, and share those things.

I challenge you. You've gotten three things, three people in your mind now. Now go tell them as soon as we hang up here. Don't wait on that, because it comes, and then it goes. Tomorrow comes. You forgot that this even happened. But let those people know and see what happens. We need so much more of community, and that's what Cadre is. Cadre brings us all together to share together, to hear each other, to share with each other, to be there for each other. But I urge you to take the three people you thought of and let them know, truly let them know, what they mean to you.

You won't be disappointed in the results and continue that practice. So I am grateful that you've hung here this long with me and I look forward with love. If you wanted to share, come back, drop in the comments. What were those experiences like? Some of the coolest stories I have from my entire life come from me sharing with people what they mean to me and the things you hear back and what you mean to them. It's phenomenal. So look forward to hearing back from some of you. Hope you all have had a wonderful start to your week.

Monday, not Sunday, but we'll come back at it again next Sunday night. Look forward to chatting with you all then. Have wonderful weeks.