Expired Mindsets 🧠 w/ Dr.Charryse

What's up, Kadri? Sphere. It is always great to be in your moment, to have another opportunity for us to join and connect together, because you are my people, and I'm so glad that you chose to show up in this space. This is your first time here. I'm Doctor Charryse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, author, speaker, mindfulness practitioner. And my whole aim in life is to help people just like you experience a greater sense of peace and harmony if you do the work. I need you to say that with me.

If I do the work, peace and harmony does not come on its own. Good morning to all the incredible souls that are here that have their beverage of choice in hand and are ready. We always start two ways. One, where are you that's important. You may think I say the same thing every week. Well, that's fine, because you are where you are. But it's also wonderful as we continue to move towards connecting in person for other people to go, ah, there's other Cadre family in my city. Two, question of the day.

Name one thing that's happening in your life right now that is going well. We want to immediately open up your synapses and your neurotransmitters and fire them off into your reward center. And when we hold space, when we hold gratitude for who we are and what's actually going well, and then you add a sip of a warm or cold beverage of choice. It is a powerful combination. So let me know where you are and what's going well for me. Currently in Charlotte, North Carolina, on my way to the final fort, ah.

In Phoenix. Can I also say, there's a part of me that was like, man, this will be a great year to be at the girls final fort, but I'm not gonna hate. I'm super, super excited to be there. Heading to spend some time with the coaches and their wives and to keynote at one of the events. So the next time I see you, I actually won't be in Charlotte. So it's also great to see more travel when we are traveling, what's going well? I feel like what I am working hard on that's going well for me is really talking to myself in a positive manner while resting.

I'm good at creating boundaries. I know the value of rest. I know in my body is like, friend, I'm going to need you to sit down. But I also noticed that there was this dialogue there that made me just consider, well, if I'm here, what else can I be doing while I'm here? So that I was resting and semi productive at the same time. And I really want to challenge that. I encourage you to maybe consider challenging that for yourself. So that was, that was big for me as I'm looking at where everybody's from.

I love it. I'm gonna be in New Jersey in a few months. In Lambertville. Never heard of that. I think it's a little bit near Trenton, so we might have to, you know, meet up together now, last, what day was that? Friday. My days all rolled together. We talked about anchor and propeller. If you did not catch last Friday's live, you're going to want to go back and really consider that whole dynamic of what we focused on. It wasn't Friday, it was Saturday. Told you my days all rolled together and I was moving things around a little bit.

But we talked about anchors and propellers and knowing what that means in your life and how are you showing up, where you being an anchor in your life, what people, what situation situations, what partnerships. And today, as promised, I said, we'll move into joy and hope, and we'll talk about what does it mean to propel yourself forward. So I spent some time talking about the ergonomics of an anchor because I'm huge on analogies. I'm huge on education and getting visuals. So now I want you to imagine a propeller.

You got one in your mind? When you have one in your mind, say, got it. For those of you that are unfamiliar, think of like a flower with a blade where there are specific blades. And one of the things that I mentioned was so powerful about a propeller is that in order for the progress of that vessel to go forward, the propeller had to cut through, the water had to cut through some crap. And I encouraged you to think about what you needed to cut through in your own life. So I want to add to that when a propeller is in rotation, side note that I will give you as we talk, what habits do I need to get off rotation?

And what habits do I need to keep in rotation? I always want you considering, even as I talk, where can you jump in? Where are moments for reflection and for action? And along with habits, I want you to also consider what mindsets need to come off rotation. What ways of thinking are standing in the way of you propelling yourself forward. And as a result of that, they need to come off rotation. And what mindsets, what mantras, what affirmations, what scriptures need to get back on rotation, because when your mind is set on those things, it propels you forward.

So in further investigation and research, I'm a type five in the enneagram. So I love my facts. I found another aspect of a propeller that I thought was so incredible. So in order for the propeller to also work effectively, it has to use a level of positive pressure on the face of the propeller and negative pressure on the back of the propeller. Now, your mind is not exploding like mine is yet, but just consider this. In order for you to continue to move forward, to propel forward in any area of your life, there has to be some level of positive pressure facing you that you're willing to face in order to move forward.

But at the same time, in order for you to thrust forward and move forward in any area, spiritually, physically, financially, socially, or emotionally, negative pressure has to stay behind you. That means that if you are more focused on looking back and reminding yourself and putting your energy on the negative pressures in your life, you might be rotating, but you're not going to go anywhere. There needs to be a positive pressure, something that is pulling you forward, keeping you consistent, something that you connect with and have a level of appropriate attachment to.

But negative pressure is not intended to be in front of you. It has to be behind you. Now, this is just my mind working in the moment. So my mind is also thinking, if we think about this in terms of being just human and a person, in order for something to stay behind me, I have to keep walking. I have to keep taking steps forward. Where have you stopped taking steps? I want you to think about that. Where were you at one point in your life? Mentally and tangibly, taking active steps towards keeping things right in order and keeping the things behind you that may so easily keep you from moving and weigh you down.

That requires your constant ability to look ahead and to face the positive pressure in your life. Because the goal in life, the goal of mental well being, is not. I want to live a life where there's no pressure. As far as I know, that's not going to happen while we're here. Right. It's about being able to acknowledge pressure will always surround you, but you're able to set your eyes and your intention and your actions on the positive places in your life. And you're not afraid for pressure to be applied, because you know how to take positive pressure and let it propel you, and you know how to take negative pressure and keep moving forward so that it stays behind you with those incredible mindsets and habits that cut through anything that's standing in your way.

Just let that sink in for a moment. Moving forward is a hourly, daily responsibility that is yours, that is mine. If you feel stuck in any area, if you feel complacent, on hold, where's your part? There are definitely circumstances that are outside of our control. But what are you rotating? And what do you need to be rotating so that you continue to propel forward? Some of you might find, or might need to find a little bit of fight. That's something in the whole dynamic of mental well being that a lot of people don't want to talk about.

There's a lot of spaces and places, and I love them and I participate in them that talk about the beautiful, soft, open side of things. And there are also moments where you have to have 2ft down, shoulders back, and go, I'm going to have to fight for my mental well being even when I'm tired, even when I'm exhausted. You may have to stop for a moment, you may have to catch your breath. Your propeller might be off for a moment and you need to refuel, but then you've got to turn it back on and allow it to do its work because mind, heart, body, spirit are all interconnected and require movement.

So let's do a seven at seven to wrap up our time. Seven strategies to help propel you forward if you're feeling stuck, and let me say, if you're a person that you're like, you know what? I'm in a good place. I don't feel stuck right now, or I can't identify an area where I need some forward progress. That is phenomenal. What I want you to do is I want to make sure that you stay very attuned to how did I get here and what needs to stay on rotation so that I can stay here. Because I also see so often people who will go, I'm in a groove.

And then they don't realize what rotating items, habits and mindsets keep them where they are. And then as a result of that, they slow down and they stop. And then all of a sudden they realize, wait a minute, I somehow put my anchor down and I didn't realize it. All right, today's seven at seven. Wrote it down so I can focus for you. Number one, take a step back. There are going to be moments in your life where you need to step back, get out of the situation because you're too close to it. Maybe it's a situation that you don't even belong in and you need to gain a different perspective.

I'm also huge into gaining a different viewpoint. Think of when you see a mountain and you decide you're going to hike that mountain or you get in an airplane and the viewpoint of the same area looks different depending upon where you're located on that mountain. While you're, whether you're climbing, whether you get to the top, whether you're up in the air, it's important for you to take a step back and ask yourself, where do I need to get new perspective around this situation in my life, around myself or around what I'm struggling with, around my mindset, my mental health?

You decide what that area is. Number two, reconnect to your why. I cannot say that enough. It is often overlooked. I have a lot of friends, colleagues that are active in recovery, and one of our constant conversations is about finding that line between you're not holding yourself to your past, but you need to remember just enough of where you were so that you keep going in a different direction. What's your why? If you know it and you're open to sharing it, and you can have a why in different areas, I'd love for you to share one of your whys in life with me.

Can you recall a why? And if you can't, it's okay, but you have some work to do. Let me also acknowledge that your why has to evolve based on your current state and position. So that means when you first start the process of pulling up your anchor and those ugly attachments and you start propelling forward, the why that encourages you to pull up your anchor is going to be a different why than the one that you need when you change position, when you change course, when you grow. So your why must evolve.

And some of you might be stuck in your mentality and your mindset because you don't really have a why, but you've got to get one. And usually the most powerful why is the one that you don't want to face is the one you don't want to acknowledge. Number three, let go of what's not working. Doing nothing doesn't work. Inaction is an action side reflection for your outside application. What are you currently doing that's not working? Making excuses, being inconsistent, comparing yourself to other people, constantly restarting for no reason, allowing fear, doubt and anxiety terrain, getting distracted, not sleeping well, allowing small cheats, whatever that means to you.

What are you doing that's no longer working or is going to place you at risk? Number four, well, let me add, this is like three, a and b. No, no, no, I'll keep going. Number four, get specific. Be specific about where you want to propel, where you need to propel and name it in tame it. I need to do better about X, Y and Z. Be very honest, be very specific with yourself because you have to be able to identify what you need. A lot of people, you've heard me say this before. I'm going to say it at least once a month.

Well, how do you do this? How do you do that? It's not always a matter of how. Yes, you want to be able to identify your how and be specific, but you have to know the what first. You have to know what specific area do you need to work on. There's always something that is important for us to be in our level of awareness. And maybe it's not intrapersonal, maybe it's interpersonal. Maybe you're in a good place, but you need to go back and repair some relationships because of how they were damaged when you were in other places in your life.

So one through four, going to repeat them real quickly and then go through the last three. One, take a step back. Two, reconnect your why. Three, let go of what's not working. Four, get specific. Five, brainstorm your options. I want you to always consider there are multiple ways to propel. There are multiple ways to get from one area to the other. Where we sometimes get stuck is we don't create options. Those of you who are all or nothing thinkers and black and white and very rigid, you have one way of wanting to do everything.

And if it doesn't happen and come through on the way that you think, then you feel like it's wrong. And then you keep restarting because you're being too specific. Brainstorm your options. The goal is forward movement. Number six, change your narrative. How are you speaking to yourself? Side question what's my internal voice been lately? What are you saying to yourself? And I want you to think about what are you saying loudly and boldly, but also what are you saying softly and quietly? And are the messages that are a part of your internal narrative serving as powerful propellers or anchors?

And number seven, take action. You have to do something in order for things to change. You decide what area of your life that statement applies to. You have to do something. If you don't like the way you are showing up, if you don't like the health, your well being and your mindset right now, you have to take action. And you can. I want you to consider what's the smallest and most significant action you can take to keep propelling forward. There is something so powerful about those small, intentional, consistent steps.

Had a conversation yesterday and we were talking about extremes and for the sake of time, I won't get into the whole conversation, but one of the thoughts that I gave the individual I was speaking to is when we are consistent, extremes are no longer needed. We go to extremes and try to thrust ourselves forward, moving from a kayak to a speedboat, because we haven't been consistent in the ways that help us stay well. When you are consistent with your well being, working on your mindset, working on your physical nature, then extremes will no longer be necessary.

You won't feel this incredible, overwhelming pressure to try to make up all of this ground that you had an ability to conquer one step at a time. So you decide because anchors push you to extremes, whereas propellers create this consistent progress and rotation that you are absolutely worthy of and you have enough to make it happen. I gave you multiple things that you can reflect on. My encouragement to you is to genuinely take the time throughout the rest of the week or in between the times that you and I connect and work on these questions.

Also recognize that this seven strategy step process that I gave you is something that you can actually sit down and do. Here's a problem now that I recognize, this is the problem that I want to focus on. How do I take a step back from it? Where is it getting too much of my energy or not enough of my energy? How can I reconnect to my why around this issue? How can I let go of what's not working? Can I identify what's not working? Let me be specific. What are my options to deal with this? How am I talking to myself?

Let me change my narrative. Here's what I'm saying to myself. Here's what I like to be saying to myself instead. And how can I get up from this moment of reflection, of journaling, of writing, of discussing and take action in my life? This is a process. This is a framework that you can use with anything. So try not to miss it. Get it down and come back to it. There are multiple incredible creators that will be coming up throughout the rest of the day centered around mental well being. I'm so grateful that you came and you showed up to spend time with me, and I encourage you to check them out as well.

Also for for those that are here live or will catch this early enough this Friday, April 5, we begin. If my plate could talk looking at the whole framework of grief and loss, but around body image, around trauma, around your relationship with food, relationship with self. I was going to say something, but I'm going to wait. m.. EST now you get to see me twice. Make sure you're there. And please continue to let those you know about Cadre. We want to continue to exponentially build this community and allow people to have a supportive and diverse space that is away from all the traditional noise and give them an opportunity to embrace social media for mental health.

That being said, I need to hurry up so that I can catch my flight. I love you all. Have a great week, and I'll see you on Friday.