Things We Aren’t Supposed To Talk About: Being A Caregiver

Hey, guys. Good morning. Welcome to Cadre. Welcome to things we aren't supposed to talk about. It's caregiver day here on Cadre. I'm Shannon. I am currently sitting in my car here in St. Paul, Minnesota. You can't really see anything. I'm in full caregiver mode today, and for those of you who don't know me, I'm a human who is the caregiver of a child who lives with autism. I am a person who has anxiety. I live with generalized anxiety disorder and CPTSD. I'm not a clinician. I'm not a mental health professional.

So what we do here on Cadre. Sorry, my phone's a little shaky. What we do here on Cadre is we talk about things that can be hard to talk about, and we do it in a real life way. And so what does that mean? That means that we show up authentically as humans. So, as a caregiver, I'm going to tell you that today, my authentic experience is that I'm sitting outside a doctor's office. I have two boys. I have Sullivan and Wyatt, my 14 year old, almost 15 year old, and my 16 and a half year old. And today I'm sitting here outside our doctor's office unexpectedly, because it is a day where my son, my typical son, said, mom, I think I have mono.

And, oh, good morning, friends. So my son said, mom, I think I have mono. And I, as a result, blew up my day a bit, right? Because we, as caregivers, have to sometimes do that. So I'm sitting here, truthfully, trying to breathe through this moment of, I thought the day was going to be one thing, and guess what? It's another thing. And as caregivers, we all have that. And I know you guys. Josh. Oh, no, shoot. Mono. Listen, Mano's okay. His biggest concern on the way to the doctor was primarily at what point may I kiss my girlfriend again?

So that gives you some insight into where his brain is with regard to the actual illness, which, frankly, for me, made me feel better, because he is know. If his biggest worry is. Is getting back to kissing his girlfriend, then I think the world is in a good place. But I'm here to say to everyone that this is the real life stuff of being a caregiver. You may have the best plans for the day, and you might have all the things in order, and you might have your s*** together and your lists and all the things, and then you might end up like I am, unwashed, in the parking lot saying, hey, friends, here it is.

And you know what, you guys? It's okay. It is okay. And I want to, you know, I could show up today. I had a choice today to show up and say, like, oh, everything's great, and do sort of a more, what's the word? Pretty version of caregiver life. And the truth of it is, as you all know, this is it, right? This is caregiver life. But what I can tell you is that as I'm sitting here with you all, I see these messages. Tiffany, Josh, speak wonder, Miss Shannon, Paul Stuffer. When I saw you pop in, right?

You guys are all here, and you guys have sat in this seat many, many times. So as long as we sit here together, as long as we can laugh about the things that happen in life, as long as we can find the beauty of that, like, I will tell you right now, in this moment, my spirits are being lifted by you all, which is a beautiful thing. And truthfully, I'm good. I'm not in a bad place. I'm just in a real place. And so I want to say that for all of you there who have been in that real place, I know many of you in real life, and I know that you have been in that place.

And so I think my goal is, as my friend Wyatt, my 1415 year old son, likes to say, is that sometimes in these moments, we just got to do a breath, right? So if you today are in a moment with whatever you care, take a parent, a child, yourself, a dog, anything, you might have those moments of overwhelm. And I think it's just to remember, breathe. Who cares what your hair looks like? Who cares if your house is a mess? Who cares if some call goes undone? Who cares if you're imperfect for a day, taking the pressure off of the things that happen when we're caregivers and reminding ourselves that in real moments, you might have to blow up a day.

Does the world end? It doesn't. Will I, you know, be messier today? Yes, I will. And guess what? You all might be messy, too. So I actually feel better. I so appreciate every single one of you here on here today. I hope if you're in a moment or even if you're not in a moment, that when you are, you can draw back to this collection of folks. You guys are all here just showing up for each other and being, you know, Josh, you're not alone. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And so the more we can do that for each other, the better off we're going to be.

So that's what I'm not supposed to talk about today. And I did, and I'm glad you are all here. And Josh. Yes. Oh, my gosh. It's amazing. When our children share back the lessons, we didn't think 100% my son. This morning, my other son, Wyatt, did say to me as I was a little frantic, mom, mom, you need to stop. You just need to slow down, and you just need to breathe. And I said, yep, yep. Wyatt, thank you for that wisdom. I'm gonna do it. So the gifts. The gifts are there. All right, you guys join us for the rest of the day on caregiver day on Cadre.

Miss Colleen Lindstrom is coming up next. She's sandwich generation, caring for her mother with dementia and also son on the spectrum, as well as two twins and a husband. All the things. We've also got Miss Shannon Paul coming up today. Of course. She's amazing. She's always, like, one of our favorites. We've got a clinician from Mac today, so we've got a full day of support for caregivers. Love you all. If you ever need this, come back. Remember, you're not alone. Take a breath, and we're all here in the Cadre sphere together.