Leading With Love 💕

Hello, Cadresphere. Anila here. Sorry I'm a minute late. Maybe two minutes late. Whoops. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to talk about today. Hi, Anna. Welcome. And the funny thing is that this morning at 715 in the morning. Uh, JC. Hi, Deontay. Nice to see you and your smiling icon. Hi, Colleen. And I think there might have been someone else that just flashed on screen, but it went away too fast to get your name. Speak wonder. Good to see you. I have been away for about three weeks. I think I missed because I was on vacation and it is so hard to come back to real life.

I want a vacation after the vacation. Give me a high five if you agree with that sentiment. Hi, Colleen. So right now I'm exhausted. My family and I had the most amazing trip to Yosemite and Lake Tahoe on the west coast. And so with the time difference and just kind of, I don't know, this weird feeling of when you're on vacation, you're just so much more relaxed. And I did bring my clipboard and my list and my books and my computer of things that I wanted to achieve. And I think I got, like, three out of the ten things that I wanted on my checklist, but still left Tahoe feeling energized and like, gung ho for this week.

And then boom, Monday, Tuesday, it's now Wednesday. And I'm still feeling exhausted. I'm still feeling strained and drained. And what does this have to do with leading to love? Leading with love. Well, the funny thing is, this morning, JC dmed me on and sent me a message and just said that he listened to my last week's session and thought it was powerful and poignant. And I was like, what's he talking about? So I went back to listen to it and that's kind of why I was a little bit late, because I had to listen to it twice.

Hi, Jules. And that wellness Wednesday, my husband had returned from a boys trip and had Covid, and I was trying to figure out how I was going to get back to normality with him being back and sick. And that's not possible. And it was actually kind of amazing to listen to that just five minutes ago because I felt, coming back from this vacation, that I was in the same boat again in many ways, in terms of kind of coming back from vacation and this week being like, okay, this has to happen, this has to happen, this has to happen.

And again, going into this, like, fix it, make it happen mode and, you know, some of these things are work related and listening to what I was talking about last week, I apparently said something about not focusing on fixing and making things happen and allowing myself to slow down and set boundaries, which I'm like, oh, I should do that now, because I'm in the same sort of scenario of, I'm exhausted, I'm not ready to come back, I don't know what I'm doing. And a lot of these things that I'm waiting on, I'm waiting on other people, I'm waiting on other organizations.

I'm waiting on, you know, the universe to give me the signs of, okay, and I need to slow down and not push and not make those things happen, but just let it be what it's gonna be. Namely, I'm specifically looking to hear back from an organization on a speaking engagement. And I'm hearing through the grapevine that some people are getting their. Their speaking engagements approved. And I'm like, where is mine? I'm going to pull my hair out, literally, because that's a thing called trichotillomania, which I have, and which is part of the reason that I'm here on the cadres sphere to talk to you all, learning to take control of this condition, along with many other Alphabet soup of mental health conditions.

And what it taught me was, I need to slow down, and I need to lead with love. And I appreciate the time that you are giving me right now to get this all out, because I have been sitting in anxiety up here for the last two days, and I think that's also been part of my paralysis, is I can't do anything else because I can't think about anything else. And so that might just be the lesson right there, right? Is that when we are so focused on things out of our control, it paralyzes us. And I've been unable to focus on other calls and meetings for the last two days.

It's just been. I'm literally laying in my son's bed because I just want to go to bed. I'm, like, done with today, even though I've done nothing. And sometimes maybe that's what leading with love is, is just acknowledging that and recognizing that. But also this idea of, um, you know, really grateful that JC mentioned that last. The last video I did was helpful because I went back and I listened to it, and I found a nugget that helped me with my son is hanging out when it is in his bed over there, my other son.

Um, but this is actually showing the power of what Cadre is, is that all these recordings all of these sessions, all these chats that we have with each other and sometimes with just ourselves, as I'm kind of doing right now, show the inner workings of our brains. And there's always a nugget of love, of care, of strategy, of compassion that we can glean from these conversations and then apply to our real life, if you will. And it's funny, I had the strategy three, four weeks ago of just focus on what I can do, just focus on slowing down and setting those boundaries and not worrying about fixing or making things happen.

Like, these are my words from three, three or four weeks ago, and I forgot them. And it took these moments just now to be on the Cadre sphere, to read through, to watch the video again, just to see how valuable it is to hear from each other and I guess in my case, to hear from my own previous self, if you will. But that means that the wisdom is within us, right? And that we do know what we need. We do know what we need to do, how to take care of ourselves. We just sometimes refuse to hear it from ourselves.

And I think that is the message I want to leave you with today, is to lead with love. We have to be willing to listen to what we need. And that small voice that's been saying, you know, don't worry about that speaking engagement. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't like, it doesn't matter. It's not the end all, be all of our lives kind of thing. And I should just focus on what I can achieve, what I can control, and just keep going with that stuff and hi, Rachel. Good to see you.

So hopefully something in there is a nugget for the next person that listens to one of these videos on how to lead with love, how to recognize when life is just going boom, boom, boom at you. And you can say, well, what do I really need? What can I control? How can I slow down? How can I take care of myself? How can I let go of things that are in other people's control and just, you know, be okay with being notified when I'm notified and not feeling like I need to be in the inner circle to know what's going on and that kind of thing and to just show up as best we can at this conference, regardless of whether or not we have a speaking engagement.

That's kind of everything that I needed to hear today. And I hope that whoever's listening, Colleen, Ana, Jules, speak wonder Rachel. I see Joanna has joined as well. I hope that as I'm talking to myself. I'm giving this myself, the talk that I needed probably two days ago. That you find something in it that resonates and allows you to slow down, to recognize where you're. You're holding on to something that isn't yours. Right? Isn't yours to control and to not work so hard to make things happen, but to kind of let them happen.

And that idea of make things happen versus let things happen. I think it was last Monday that there was this super blue moon, and that got me kind of into a deep dive of, like, the moon is feminine, the sun is masculine. In some cultures, just sort of this transition I'm seeing generally in our culture of shifting more to the maternal, to the feminine, which is the slowing down, which is the let things happen versus the masculine of make things happen. Right. It kind of all is coming full circle from that perspective of those thoughts that I was having last week around the full moon.

And this idea of, like, the moon being feminine and the moon being more of this feminine, being more of this sort of slow down, let things happen being versus doing. And I think I came back from vacation after being for so long that I feel like maybe I needed to tip the scale and do, do, do, do more. But I think the lesson from vacation was, no, just keep being. And, Jules, I'm thankful for your comment. As you say, you can relate with so much, especially over these past few weeks. I hope that whatever you're going through, you're finding these moments of control by not controlling, if that makes sense.

Like, I'm gonna walk away from this conversation recognizing that I can't control certain things, and that, to me, is now control. Having control over it, recognizing that I can't control it, recognizing that the ball is over in their court, and I just have to hang here and just be and wait for them to pass me the ball. And that visual allows me to kind of feel okay. That, like, okay, I'm here when they're ready. I'm ready to catch it when they're ready to throw it. And if they're not ready to throw it, I'll go take a water break.

And so, yeah, I hope that this was helpful for y'all. I am wishing you so much love, strength, and awareness, and I appreciate you being here. I appreciate this opportunity to speak kind of in tongues a little bit. I don't feel like I was very clear with all of the noise in my head, but I'm hopeful that some of the examples I showed were help, were helpful, and I'll see you all next Wednesday. Bye.