If My Plate Could Talk: “Creating An Armor Of Happiness”

Roger Sphere. Happy Friday. If you're listening to this in real time, I'm so glad that you're here. Welcome back for another opportunity for us to just be together. Right? To join, to connect. Come in, say good morning to someone and let me know where you are in the world. For those of you who are likely paying attention, you will notice that my background looks different. So I am currently in South Carolina. Welcome to all my South Carolina Peeps. I'll give you a moment to come in and get rolling and then we will go from there.

We typically rate your week earlier in the week for those of you that join me on Wednesdays and Fridays. But I want us to do something that we have done multiple times. We always talk about how our brain, our body, our spirit, all of it is supported when we choose to intentionally focus on the things that are going well in our life. So I wanna know, what's a win that you've had? Hello, Charleston. Hello, Philly. What's up, Buffalo? What is a win that you have had this week? Thank you, Miss Mary.

This is actually a dress, which is thus why I have the blanket. So that I am being appropriate, but it's super comfortable. Hello, from northern Minnesota. Tell me a win that you've had this week. Why is that important for you? We spend a lot of time. Hello, Sacramento, California. Focusing on the things in our life that are going wrong, the things that aren't going well. And as a result of that, it activates the part of our brain that can be depressed and anxious. But when we spend intentional time.

Hello, Riley. Working on what is actually going well in my life, what's a win that I've had with something that I'm happy about, something that I'm excited about, that changes the game. And it fits right in line with what we're going to talk about today. This is your first time here. I'm Doctor Charryse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner and author. And on Fridays, we talk about if your plate could talk, what would it say? So, our metaphorical time to talk about what's on your tangible plate.

What are you noticing about how you are eating in relationship to how you're feeling and what's on your metaphorical plate? Are you doing the most? Carlette, I'm so glad that you survived the week. And there's still some week ahead, so there's a lot to go. You followed your meal plan this week. You've maintained boundaries. Now that I love all of those, those are phenomenal. Boundaries are not easy to maintain focus of today, here's a question I want to put out there for you first. When you are aggravated, upset in a situation that you find difficult, what do you typically do?

So I want you to think about this in the whole dynamic of how we kind of armor up. We can walk around with these defense mechanisms and this attitude or a way of being where we're trying to keep things out. For example, sometimes we may act tougher than we really are because that has become our armor. And we think, well, if people think I'm tough, then they're not going to toughen to me a certain way. They're not going to want to mess with me. And it's always this self protective aspect. If we even look at it in terms of when we're working through something that we grieve or if we've had a lot of loss or really hard moments, then we can armor up by going, I'm done with life.

I'm done with taking care of myself. The armor is, I quit. I am no longer going to participate in anything because I just don't want to feel disappointed. So we spend all of that energy, hello, Michigan. Focusing on how to protect ourselves from the things that we find hard, the things that we find challenging. But I want to put a little twist on the dynamic of having an armor and let me out myself right now and say, as much as I would like to say that this is my original concept, it is not. I have a close friend of mine, and we were talking, and while we were having a conversation, they said, put on the full armor of happiness.

And I went, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Say that again. And they were like, armor of happiness. I need that to just hit. Does that hit you the way it hit me? I was like, I have thought about armor and protective things and a shield millions of ways, but I absolutely love the concept of putting on an armor of happiness because to me, there's something about an armor of happiness that is going to be protective but not heavy. When we are sitting and carrying a armor where we're trying to keep tough things out, it's heavy.

You've heard me sometimes say things, we do things in life to keep other things out. And the problem with that is it also keeps out the things that we want to enjoy. But an armor of happiness changes the game. So let's do a little word etymology for those of you who have been with me for a while. You know, that's something that I love to do, or I simply focus on a word and give you a different definitions. Noun, verb, all the things. So armor. I've got three different definitions for you. The first one is the tough metal covering, layering a ship or vehicle to protect it from attack.

The ship or the vehicle is you. We do need to armor ourselves with certain things in order to keep ourselves from being attacked. Boundaries, right. Knowing that you need to have some type of structure to how you go through your day and the things that you eat. And when we eat certain foods, that puts a protective boundary and layer within us. It does armor us up. So all of those things matter. Second definition. Oh, this one gets me excited. Y'all know I get excited about this stuff. A person's emotional, social, or other defense mechanism, right?

I'll say that again. A person's emotional, social, or other defense mechanism, that's an example of an armor that we put in. So I want you to take a moment and reflect. But when you are having a difficult time, what kind of social and emotional defense mechanisms do you choose? And if we're honest, most of us choose unhealthy social and emotional mechanisms. We start doing things. We start pulling away. We start isolating. We lack confidence. But hang tight, because if you have an armor of happiness, it will change the way that you move through the world.

I completely believe that. Number three, the last definition that I want to give you, is something that encloses another thing, especially to protect it. And that might be. It's hard to choose. That might be my favorite. When I was a school teacher many, many years ago, we had a little. I think they were called snow crabs or little crabs that we would have in the classroom. And if you think about it, well, crabs and lots of different sea animals and turtles and different things have a shell that is used to protect it, right?

That serves as its defense. The shell that we want to talk about how we can create, that's the focus of our time, is creating an armor of happiness, is how can you create a armor of happiness so that it's not being tough, overworking, overcompensating, isolating, not eating well, not sleeping well. It's not those things that are keeping you safe, but what's actually protecting you and keeping you from being attacked are the things that you do that make you happy and bring you a deep sense of joy.

I've been there. I've had moments, and I hope you have, too. Where I have been so happy that it didn't matter what happened, that happiness was so attached to me that I was like, I'm unbothered I am completely unbothered by everything that's going on. So I really want us to kind of turn our pivot the way we would typically look at things. Let's not walk through life trying to protect ourselves by being tough, by playing small, by getting quiet. But instead, I want you to really consider what things in your life genuinely and truly make you happy.

And not only what things, what people, what spaces, what experiences make you happy. Again, bringing in a little bit of neuroscience. When we are happy and when we're with people that make us happy and we're doing things that make us happy, it creates dopamine. Dopamine is one of the most powerful neurotransmitters that you can have, because it floods us with deep, genuine joy that cannot be easily snatched away. And we often try to get dopamine from very empty sources. The top way that we try to get dopamine is through our mouth.

There's something that we ingest. It's why we drink to a certain point, we smoke to a certain point, we eat to a certain point, because those are things that give us a fast, quick shot of dopamine. But the issue with those things, no shade on them. But the issue is then we have to do more and more and more because a little bit doesn't do what it always does. And then we get to a point where we're like, that doesn't even work for me anymore. I used to be able to eat that or do this, and it made me feel great.

Now I'm just doing it because it's habit. But when you really create an armor of happiness by doing the things that you enjoyed, spending time with the people that you enjoy, and having the experiences that you enjoy, those create core memories that are held in your body and in your fascia that you can recall and your mind can go back to during low moments and will help rise and lift you out of every mood. So here's what I want you to do so that you can move this from thought to action. I want you to take some time throughout the week, or I invite you to.

Can't make you, but I invite you to take some time throughout this week, and I want you to go armor of happiness. And just kind of write it down on a piece of paper. And then under that, you know, heading, I want you to start to list the people, the places, and the things that bring you joy and make you happy. And don't overthink it. It doesn't have to be, oh, Mount Kilimanjaro. I mean, like, that's great, but you can't go there every day. So I want you to think about what are some everyday people, places and things that make you happy?

What are some that you can only get to occasionally? And then what are some that you're like, oh, I don't do this often, but when I do this, I love it. Because inducing positive emotions is actually a skill that fits right in line with creating this armor of happiness. And as you go throughout the rest of the week and you notice there's a tough moment, you notice that you are barely getting through or you're surviving, I want you to stop and just ask yourself, how can I create an armor of happiness for myself in this moment?

What is something that I can do right now that is going to bring some happiness into my life with or without anyone else? Because let me say this as a caveat. When you have people that make you happy, it is phenomenal, but those people aren't always going to be there. So you also have to have a balance of how do I have these things with people where there's an exchange of happiness, but then how do you also just really work on your own inner happiness? And what do you need to do? What do you need to up root in order to make some balance and harmony in your life?

We always end with, if your plate could talk, what would it tell you? I want you to think about how you've nourished yourself this week.