If My Plate Could Talk: “Armor Of Happiness Part 2”

Good morning, my dear souls. It is always a joy to be with you. Hello, Colleen. Here we are. Another Friday or whatever you're listening to this back on if your plate can talk. Where we talk all things, life and the intersection of grief, trauma, body image and the things that are metaphorically and tangibly on our plate. Good morning, JC. It's wonderful to see you this morning. So I'm always excited to be here. We'll take a minute or two and do what we do, which is allow everyone to come in and let us know where you are in the world.

I will never stop asking you where you are. I will never stop enjoying and believing in the power of us connecting with one another. Hello, Lindsey. And being able to be reminded that we are sharing mutual space and experiences no matter where we are in the world. As you can see, I am home for now. Leaving after this. Always wonderful. It's like that. Nice fall. Cool morning. Hello, Houston. And then heading into some sunshine. And I want you to rate your week. If you're with me on Wednesday, you may have rated yourself on Wednesday.

It's okay to rate yourself, even daily. A lot can change in a few days. Rating your week one to ten is my way of getting a pulse on where you are right now. Do you notice that you have kind of worked your way up? What's up, Buffalo? From where you were on Wednesday to Friday and you still have the weekend ahead. But I also want you to do this because it's an opportunity for you to kind of self check and go, where am I? How things are going? And am I okay right now? And what do I need? Hello, Beth.

I hope you can listen to the whole thing. But if not, that is the beauty of replay. 5 and I have had to work for it cause it has been a week. But I will say this. Hello, Erie. I plan on getting myself as close to a ten as possible. Not because perfection is needed, but I personally am always striving to go. How can I give myself what I need? And how can I just really push myself towards more? If you were with me during our last session, we talked about an armor of happiness. Jen, I am so sorry. Let's take a moment and send some love to Jen, who just used a lot of courage to acknowledge that her father passed away this week.

And that even though it was a difficult situation, even difficult experiences with those we love can be hard. So my heart is with you. I'm so amazed that you chose to show up. And I hope that you will continue to come to this space, whether it's me or other providers and creators, to find whatever you need. And we definitely send our love to you. So, everyone, send a little love to Jen. And for those of you who are also navigating grief right now, sometimes we are grieving somebody who's alive. That's a whole live that I probably need to do.

What's it like to grieve someone that's still in your life? What do you feel when you're grieving and you are navigating something where someone isn't what you need or you're watching someone deteriorate? For those of you who were with me last week, and if you didn't watch last week's session, I really encourage you to do that. We talked about the armor of happiness, and I want to actually go to a part two of that, and here's why. This is, you know, Jen, you actually just set things up so well. When grief challenges an overwhelm hit, it can feel like it is attacking our armor of happiness.

It can throw us for the loop and make it really difficult. So one thing I want you to keep in mind, and this is something that if you don't remember anything else that I say I would actually want you to remember this is that grief and a sense of happiness can coexist. They don't have to coexist. You may find it very difficult to tap into your armor of happiness when you're struggling, but grief and a sense of happiness or moments of happiness can absolutely exist. And it's so important when you're ready to allow both of those things to hold place in your life, because they kind of help things balance out.

They help things ebb and flow. So because I'm the nerd that I am, I did a little research on armor, talked about it a little bit. What's it for? But I want to talk today about how it's a built and what it allowed those knights to use, because that's our earliest picture of armor. So one of the things to keep in mind is that I said last session that when you have an armor of happiness, it is able to comfort you and protect you. But then I found one of the most incredible things out about armor that kind of blew my mind.

Not only does it provide protection and comfort from elements that are coming at you, but when a knight, you're the knight was going through battle, you're battling something, as we all are, whether it's spoken or unspoken, the armor also allowed for greater mobility and flexibility during combat. The armor of happiness that we work on building and creating and fortifying for ourselves is intended to be there in the midst of our life battles, our daily battles, our battles with grief. And it allows us to move and be more flexible because we have that armor.

So it's not something that you have to put down and put to the side. Oh, I'm grieving. Oh, I'm having a hard time. It's not okay for me to be happy because sometimes we could even feel guilty when there are moments of happiness, when we're grieving or overwhelmed. But those interruptions, those things that reignite your armor of happiness are so vital and so important as you move forward to the place that you can reach those and access those other things to consider about an armor. Just one other thing that I want to nerd out on that I thought was so powerful is that an armor was intersected.

It was a small connection of intersected rings. That was how it was placed on. And so what stood out to me about that part of what I learned is the interconnected piece. We come into spaces like this not only to get what we need from you to me, but from each other. I'm watching as you guys are encouraging Jen and giving advice and encouraging one another. That inner connection adds to the armor of happiness that we have and how amazing that we can come into a space and have that. But the key thing in that little piece is we need to stay connected even when things are difficult.

Yes, our natural desire is often to pull back, to isolate and to go. I'm going to be away from everybody because I don't want anyone to see me like this. I don't want to be a burden on people. This is too much. I'm not myself. I'm not in a good mood. None of that matters when you're surrounded by the right people. And if you're here today, I believe you're surrounded by the right people. I believe that the people who are on this session, whether live or replay, are here for themselves and they're here for you.

And no matter what you're going through, I always want you to feel like you can show up in this space. And I always want you to seek community and connection with other people who can support you as you are navigating life and all the things. There may be some days where you're struggling to put your arm of happiness on yourself. You feel like you don't have it in you. Well, that's when you want someone in your corner. That's when you want to come here and feel the love from me to you or from each other.

And that allows you to go, I need to put this armor on because it gives me a sense of protection, it gives me a sense of comfort, but it also gives me a sense of strength. Now, what do you do if you find that you're in a season where you're struggling to be happy? I want to run through eight things that I think can be helpful. Because although we have that armor of happiness and it's something that we want to continue to utilize even through our grief, pain, trauma and struggles, sometimes it's really hard to access happiness.

So one, actually take time to reflect on your feelings. Our feelings. You've heard me, many of you've heard me say this, are messengers. They're giving you a huge valuable insight around your thoughts, your behaviors, your actions, your motivation and your attitude. So to the degree that you're comfortable, really take time to reflect on what am I feeling right now versus the part of you that may want to just go through the motions and keep doing things over and over. Slow down, pause, and take time to understand what's making my level of happiness or adding happiness along with grief feel like it's too much.

Number two, talk to someone. Share your feelings. Don't keep them inside and internalize it. I will be first to acknowledge I am a natural internalizer. Something happens, I want to go in. I want to figure it out and try and carry it on my own. It's a lot of work. Love you, Jen. See you soon. It's a lot of work to be out share. But we do feel better when we appropriately have people in our life and we share with them. Here's what's going on with me and everybody. Let me say, shouldn't have that privilege in your life.

There are some people that can't handle your share, that can't handle your grief, can't handle your overwhelm. But find the people that you know you can trust and you can lean on and share with someone what you're going through to see if that helps rebuild your armor of happiness. Number three, engage in activities that you enjoy. Granted, that's going to be hard, but think small and then work your way up. Maybe that's sitting in silence and listening to music. Maybe that's reading a book. Maybe it's just going outside and getting some fresh air.

It doesn't have to be these huge top of the line things that you do that bring you joyous. But it's important to know that joy is a very powerful antidote when we are working through grief and overwhelm and struggle. So try not to deny yourself of joy and sit too deeply in your pain. Number four, practice mindfulness. Mindfulness has a lot of components. Another thing I'll teach about one day, if I think about all the components of mindfulness that I would want you to really practice as you're navigating your journey, your life and your struggles, it would be non judgment.

Nonjudgment is likely one of the most difficult parts of mindfulness, but also one of the most important, where you stop judging your reaction. Oh, I shouldn't feel this way. This is too much. What is wrong with me? Why can't I shake this? Because you can't. Because you're human and because you're going through a difficult time in your mind and your body and your spirit and your nervous system and all the things is going to respond in the way that it needs to respond. But when we can operate from a mindful place of non judgment, it allows us to be curious.

It allows us to honor those feelings that we're going to reflect on. It allows us to honor what we need unapologetically. So really see what it means to be mindful of your experience in a way that helps guide you on what do I need today? And how can I give that to myself? Or how can I reach out and share with someone? Here's a way that you can help me meet this need. Number five, stay active. Active means moving any part of your body that feels great to you. It doesn't mean you have to go out and run a marathon, but maybe it means you actually listen to a song you like and you start to dance.

Maybe you just shake and twist. Maybe you just breathe, maybe just lift your knees up. But keeping some energy flowing through the body is another powerful way of allowing happiness to rise back and be present with you as you're going through all the things that you're going through in life. Number six, I think this can be really challenging. When we are struggling is establish a routine. We can kind of dissociate through the day, which means we're not fully present and feel like we're kind of zombies.

But when you can hone in on some of those things that help anchor your day, especially in the morning, in the evening, it helps you feel like you're not too far off of your rhythm, because we do best in rhythm. So whatever routines that you can bring into your life when you're struggling. Keep those, because they're a really great way to help you feel grounded. Number seven, limit social media when you are already struggling to re down, except for Cadre. Make sure that you really limit what you're taking in, because when our mind is in a bad place, we take in and perceive things very differently.

I'll be honest. One of the reasons why I love Cadre and I'm here on Cadre, is because, in my opinion, it is one of the most grounded and secure social media places that you can find. There are no ads. There are no comparison stories. You're not looking at everybody else's life and comparing it to yours. It's social media for mental health, and you can come in this space and know I can get exactly what I need without being inundated with things that may tear me down instead of build me up. So really consider getting off of social media, not allowing your mind to wander into comparison and struggle and what other people are doing.

And why am I not this way? And just be with yourself and be with those trusted loved ones that you know are going to be there for you when you feel like you're in the trenches. And the last one is, don't be afraid to seek help, doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be like a therapist that you meet with long term. Maybe you just need a few sessions with a mentor or with a coach or with a counselor or social worker. Whatever you choose, know the point when you feel like, I'm struggling, and I'm not shaking this on my own.

So I need to reach out for help, and I need to reach out to someone who can help me navigate through this season in a way that is more adaptive than what I'm doing for myself. So you heard me say before, knowledge is not power without application. I want you to kind of reflect and recap on this list of things that I gave you. Let me run through them one more time, just for the sake of clarity. Number one, reflect on your feelings. Number two, talk to someone. Number three, engage in activities you enjoyed.

Number four, practice mindfulness. Number five, stay active. Number six, establish a routine. Number seven, limit social media. And number eight, seek professional help. Go through these. Maybe you look at a few and you decide, I can start here. This feels possible. This is what I need to do to help maintain my armor of happiness, even though I'm going through really difficult seasons right now in areas and in the context of my life. Or maybe these are things that you share with someone else. So what I also love about the things that you learn is it can come to mind and you might be around with someone else who is struggling and you're able to access and go, you know, I was listening to something recently and they gave some really good ideas.

Maybe this is helpful for you. I always want you to have something tangible and I want you to continue to explore what's on your armor of happiness. What are the things, who are the people that bring happiness to your life and when you find them, hold on to them dearly. As always, I'm so glad that you chose to be here. It is never lost on me. I always have so much gratitude. You could be so many places right now, but you chose to come. Whether you're listening in the moment or you're listening in replay.

Glad that you're here. I hope you get at least one thing that you need and that you can walk on. Remember, you don't have to leave here and feel like there's going to be this magical moment where you're going to flip a switch and everything is going to be great. But try keep participating in your own life because your progress is always going to be parallel to your participation and you have a lot of life ahead of you. Have a fantastic rest of your week until we meet again. Remember, you are more than enough and you have everything that you need to navigate what's ahead of you.

Have a good one.