Comedy Centered

There. Hi. Hi, everybody. It's Tiffany Norton, comedy centered. Happy Sunday. I. Yeah, I was having some technical problems, and it wasn't really even technical problems. It was just like normal, regular tripod problems and trying to get everything kind of hooked up. I'm trying to multitask. I'm recording on multiple cameras, because a lot of times after these lives, I'll go, I'll forget what I said. And then I got to go back through the app, which is fine, but, you know, sometimes I actually think I want to remember stuff that I.

That I've said. Jules, what's going on, babe? How's your Sunday? Let me adjust there. How's your week been? Yeah, I had quite the adventures this week. I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm also a little, yeah, I had to use some techniques to kind of cope with a little bit of panic attack that I had. But I don't want to start with the bad stuff necessarily, but I do want to kind of, like trigger warning. I mean, if that's going to bother people, as I've shared in the past. I'm Tiffany Norton. I am a stand up comedian and recently diagnosed with.

Oh, good. Oh, good. Jules says busy, but good, good. Busy is good. You know, sometimes you do have to allow yourself to rest, right? Um, yeah, but I am a stand up comedian, and, um, up until about a year and a half ago, I didn't realize that I have attention deficit disorder, that I'm actually neurodivergent, and that I also have post traumatic stress disorder. Didn't know that. Just kind of thought that sometimes I was just completely insane and it was my fault and I done something wrong, and, you know, I don't know.

Like, I didn't. I. And comedy was how I coped with a lot of that stuff, and. But not. Well, it was. It was fun to express a lot of that stuff, but then, you know, when you're constantly expressing that. That dark stuff and. And you're putting yourself out there and things aren't going well on stage or things like that, it puts you in a really dark place emotionally. So about. Yeah, so it's. I'm. But I'm proud of myself. I was back up on stage last night, and I live just recently moved to Wisconsin, but I'm originally from Minnesota, and we just did a real fun comedy show at a vineyard I've been working with for many years.

And they're. They're great. And it's so cool to see small businesses just expand and expand. It's a husband and wife, and they both. And they wanted to be vintners, and, yeah, they. They built a cool, like, upstairs. That's where they live. They live on their vineyard. Now, for someone like me, that would. That would not be a good idea for me to live on a vineyard with, like, complete access to the wine. No, that would be. That would be difficult for me. But, um, I did not drink, so that's good, right?

Um, but, yeah, so. But getting to kind of, like, the. The nuts and bolts of what I wanted to talk about tonight. So I am in the process of being certified through the state of Wisconsin for what's called a master naturalist. And essentially what that means is that, um, it's kind of like being a citizen scientist and you are. Naturalism is a generalized term. It's people that are really into environmentalism and in the environment and nature conservation. And so I have been taking that training, and I've been looking forward to it all summer.

Spent a lot of time researching. I have camped a lot in my life. I love to camp. For whatever reason, I've always ended up with partners that weren't necessarily opposed to camping, but due to jobs and things like that, like, they could never just, like, go, you know, like, during the week when it's not like, excuse me, excuse me. Too much Diet Coke. Where it wasn't just, like, completely thick with kids and families. Right. Anyway, so this training is taking place. A four hour drive one way. I'm in the same state.

It's just in northern Wisconsin. Wisconsin's quite big, especially if you're going kind of north to south, and. But it's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's called the big woods. And so, rather than keep doing this commute, because we're meeting twice a week over this series, I decided to camp by myself for the first time in a while. And definitely the first time I ever camped alone without it being in a cabin, without shelter, like, a proper door and, like, lock and stuff like that. Right. Just a tent.

And it's something I've always wanted to do. I just think it's so cool, and I know I feel so much better and so much more at ease when I have been just, like, completely. Like, I've slept in nature, and I wake up that next morning, I'm like, okay, okay. Like. And I know that it's the right idea. Right? So, I had. Monday night, I was supposed to be up there Tuesday morning. Monday night, I had a horrible PTSD attack about leaving. I was certain that terrible things were going to happen while I was camping alone, and I almost didn't go.

Like, almost. I was late. I was late to my Tuesday class by a few hours because I had to talk myself out of the. Of my thoughts. I'm like, your thoughts aren't real. Your thoughts aren't real. There's thoughts. They're thoughts. And it's. And that is something. If you maybe suspect that there may be a touch of. I'm not. I never. Do not get a professional, please, and do not follow people, like, on TikTok or stuff like that, and go, oh, no. I have this disorder. No, no, no, no. There are so many people that are not, you know, ethical or trained properly that have their own agendas.

So, you know, be wary there. Oh, Jules. What are you saying, honey? Oh, nature is the best, right? Love that morning coffee on the deck overlooking the lake and listening to nature. Exactly. And then if I can have a book. Oh, man. If I've got a book that I'm really interested in, or, like, a really good, like, fashion magazine, like, I still get vogue. I am a girly girl, but then I'm also, like, solo camp girl. I don't know. I I'm a Gemini too. That's my rising sign, so maybe that explains a lot.

I have no idea. And I'm a nerve sign. But anyway, so, um. Anyway, the camping, right? So I make myself go. I make myself get in the car. I'm like, shake it off. Come on. This is something you want to do, right? And if it's terrible and you hate it and you feel scared, you can sleep in the car. You've slept in a car before. You can lock the doors. You could drive to a truck. There's a lot of things you can do. Okay? So I get to the place, and now I've been talking myself down for a few hours now, and I feel confident, like I've got this, right?

And then I check in, and, oh, Jules, you're a Gemini too? Yes. Witchy woman. Yeah. So I check in, and the guy's like, oh, okay. Do you have campsite one or campsite two? And I'm like, I think I have. I have one. He's like, oh, well, one's over. One's over there. And I look out the window, and it's like a parking lot next to some woods. And I was like, you know, I think it might have been too. Is too available? Was it too, you know, I'm like, what's that? And so I use this app called Hip Camp, and hip camp is a great app.

And if you like to camp, but what you're doing is you're camping on people's private property as opposed to, like, big campgrounds or, like, you know, any of those travel sites. Right? So you can get some great deals. But sometimes it's like, you know, when you're seeing that it's only $40 a night for a place where, like, everybody else is getting, like, a night for camping, you're like, you have to take some. You know, you're taking some risk, right? So. But the place was cool, and they. And the guy was nice.

He's like, yeah, actually, the other site's open. And it was still not ideal, but because there was kind of like. It was kind of, like, next to a road, but the other site was next to a highway, and the road was a dead end that led into this nature center. And so basically it was just people on bicycles and stuff. So it was fine. So by the end of the first night, I feel great. I feel great. I feel great. I'm like, I conquered it. It's cool. I like this. And I'm the only one there they shut down. So this place is also a.

I think it's called river extreme. And I can share it later on if anybody's interested. It's in Manitowish, Wisconsin. Very, very close. About 40 miles from, like, the Michigan up. Border up by. Oh, God, what is it? Anyway? I can't think of it right now. Ironwood. Ironwood, Michigan, I think. Anyway, it's so beautiful and largely undeveloped, and that's what's so cool about the area. Anyway, so first night's great, basically, first night, I talk myself in it. It's fine. And I'm sitting there with my coffee that I made early that evening, and I also have a diet Coke.

I don't know why I'm telling you all these details. They're kind of dumb. But I'm sitting there, and all of a sudden I had noticed that there was this teardrop camper that was between me and the building, but there was no vehicle attached to it. And it looked like one from, like, kind of like the fifties or something. Like someone had touched it up. But it didn't look like anybody was actively, like, using it, right. So I didn't really pay it in any mind. I'm like, oh, it's probably one of the owners.

And just parks it there, right? Or rents it or something. Well, yeah, it turns out they did. And all of a sudden, I'm sitting there, and this black truck pulls and starts backing up next to this camper. And this man gets out of the camper and he's got a black hoodie on and his stuff that he's carrying, and he goes right into the camper, and I'm like, huh? And now the business is closed because during the day, they also rent kayaks and tubes and stuff like that because they're right next to the Manitowoche river.

And so now the business is closed. And I'm like, I thought it was all by myself here. Like, I was cool if it's just gonna be me and a possible bear because of my location, right? But what is this factor? And so that's when, you know, this is. So if you're. And this is where I'm going to talk about something that's personal and it's triggery, so. But if you identify with this and we'll come back to it. But, like, the body keeps the score is an amazing resource if you think that any of what I'm going to say is something that you're going to react to.

Okay, now, oftentimes, women are labeled as, like, overreacting or being hysterical, and they write it off to like, oh, you watch too many crime shows or you watch too many of these kinds of things. If you are constantly drawn to that type of material, you may be suffering at least some of the symptoms of that. Do you see? Because at least this is my take on it. I've always been interested in studying criminals so far as to the fact that I got a degree in law enforcement and then never became a police officer.

But I wanted to know stuff. I wanted to keep myself safe, right? And I had prepared to a certain extent, I do not own a firearm, you know, and, you know, I've struggled. I've gone back and forth about whether I want one, but I've never owned one because I'm. My biggest fear in life is to make a mistake, a mistake you cannot take back, right? So. Because I've made mistakes in my life that I cannot take back, they'll never go away, and I'll never, you know, be done. Independence of them, but whatever, right?

So I'm trying to not add to my karma. I already have a lot. I already have a. I already have a lot to atone for. Like I said, this is kind of deep, right? So I. I'm like, I had brought this camp, this Aldi. I don't know if you've got them in your area, but they've. They. They will sell sometimes just wacky stuff. And, like. Like, lawn furniture and stuff. Anyway, I found this really cool chair, and it's a camping chair, and it's like a swing, right? And it's pretty comfortable in that. And I brought that with, and I was, like, rocking myself, and I stayed up.

I made sure I stayed up until the lights went off and the little cabin thing that he was in. And I had weapons stashed everywhere. You know, I was completely clothed with multiple layers, like tennis shoes on. Let's go. If there's gonna be a problem, if there's gonna be a bear or a man like that meme that they were go, what are you more afraid of? I'm like, I'm actually kind of afraid of both at the same time because I'm literally on the edge of this. This river in this forest. And from what I know of bears, like, they like water, too, you know, food and fish, but it's pretty.

But it was really shallow there, and I was assured that, like, yeah, the fish aren't very big, so they don't really hang out there. So I was like, oh, okay. All right. Anyway, so I make it through the first night, and I wake up in the morning, and it's fine. I hear the. I hear the truck start, and so I peek. You know, I like a neighbor, like one of those old lady neighbors. And I can see in the daylight that the kid is, you know, he's. He looks like. I don't get a good look at the face, but he looks like he's pretty thin, and he looks like he might be young, but I can't really tell because, again, he's wearing a hoodie, right?

So anyway, he leaves. I'm like, fine. I'm off to my day. I don't even think about it anymore. And I'm like, well, probably this kid works here, or is, you know, whatever he rents. Or it's just like, you know, this is his brother's place, and I don't know. Right. So I go on, da da da. That next Wednesday, that the next night, I gone driving around. I drove and visited that town in Michigan, because I thought, why not let me go see? And then came back and making dinner? And again, then the truck pulled back up, and I was like.

And I could just feel the adrenaline just pumping through me, and I was thinking to myself, and now all the thoughts are going through my head. I'm like, yeah, you were outside too much. You know what? When you were outside and people riding their bikes and stuff, like, these people all live in the same town. They all know each other. They could be saying stuff to each other. Who knows? Like, you don't know. Like, maybe this is. Maybe they're like, ooh, great. A girl right on the next to the edge of the woods where no one knows where anything is.

And, I mean, like, I'm spiraling and I'm alone, and I'm thinking, get a hold of yourself. You know, like, I'm, like, trying to do everything to get ahold of myself. And, um, that rocking chair really helped, but I honestly had to sit there and rock myself and repeat to myself over and over again, your thoughts are not real. Your thoughts are not real. Your thoughts are not real. Your thoughts are not real. And it did. It took, like, 20 minutes of rocking myself and doing that. And, you know, and I made this mistake.

I. Earlier, when I felt before the van, before the truck showed up on the first night, I posted this cocky post about being so excited about solo camping, and I didn't feel alone. It was great, and I was proud of myself, and. Oh, my God, right after that. But, you know, like. But that's kind of why we have to talk about this stuff as women. I'm an essay victim, right? And not just once. And so, you know, heightened. Little heightened for me. And so. But it was. So this book, again, I recommend it for anybody who watched this in the replay or if this resonates in any way or if you know somebody that this seems like.

Right. Because I always have an exit plan. I always know where there's weapons. I always know how to defend myself. I mean, like, I at least have a plan. Like, I don't know, going to places like that. And. And part of why I want to talk about this stuff, too, is because I do some work, and it's been hard lately because it's getting stereotyped so much and politically. But I've done a lot of work with law enforcement agencies because this stuff is really hard to, like, talk yourself out of sometimes.

Like, you have to I to literally scream at myself, you know, inside, like, your thoughts are not real. Your thoughts are not real. Your thoughts are not real. Your thoughts are not real. And, you know, we don't give people and first responders that kind of time to, like, regroup and put it back together, you know? So we have to be kinder in our words all around because we don't know what someone's going through, right. Even though someone looks like maybe they don't have problems, you know, I mean, you know, everybody's got something, you know, earth ain't easy, from what I heard.

So again, this is the body keeps the score. The rest of the title is brain, mind and body in the healing of trauma. And the author is Bessel van der Kolk, Md. And, yeah, see if it resonates. See, you know, see if it resonates for you. And it may resonate for a family member as well, especially if you know that there's someone in your family that has gone through something that's. That maybe they're really under reacting to maybe something that, like, you know, you're not getting the whole story and that they're retreating and isolating and stuff, you know, their thoughts might be doing an absolute number on them.

Also, to my personal advice, and again, I'm not any kind of a therapist. This is just my own experience. If you do suspect somebody is in a state like that, my, my suggestion is to, even though you feel so desperately that you want to change their narrative and you want to change how they're feeling and change how they're reacting and change what's going on, they're not going to be able to hear you. The easiest thing you can do is give them confirmation of their feelings, but maybe not their thoughts.

I understand you feel really overwhelmed right now, as opposed to trying to dismantle a factual argument with them. That's not going to help. They're only going to spiral harder and feel more alone and more like, no one understands. No one's ever going to understand. And we talked about that last week, those flaws and logic that we can make, that the idea that something that is true now will continue to be true always in the future. Like aging, like, you forget about a nephew and then you haven't seen him for ten years, and then he's huge.

You're like, what? You're not still a kid. Because our mind doesn't necessarily process like that. So, but give them space. You know, obviously, if they're in a. In a path where they could harm themselves or others, make yourself safe first. That is their struggle. That is their problem. And sometimes you just have to let someone. Sometimes you just got to take your hands off the wheel. If someone is in a state like that, because they will do and do not try to talk them out of what they're saying.

All I would offer is you say that you're right. You are right. That sucks. That sucks. That sucks. Don't say I'm sorry, though. They get very upset. Don't say I'm sorry. Don't say I feel bad for you. No, no, no. Just say, that sucks. Just confirm. Confirm. That's it? No, no feeling attached to it. You know what I mean? Just. You know what? Yeah, I think. Yep. You got screwed. You know that they need that, you know? Anyway, so I did make it through the night, obviously. And I'm not gonna lie. I was.

I didn't sleep well, and then I got up early because I'd have be all tore down and then go to my class and do our day of hiking in the woods, which was amazing and totally worth it, right? But in the morning, when I was pulling up, the kid was up again. And then this is the first time I saw him without the hoodie. Oh, my God. He's adorable. And he's, like, 18. Like, I'm sitting there terrified. Just terrified. And I see the kid, and he's got the hair, and he's. I'm like, he looks. He looks like he literally is late for soccer practice, and he's dressing like my.

My son does. And all 20 year olds are like, don't look at me. Once I saw him without the sweatshirt, I was like, oh, man, if I could have just seen that the first night. But. But it was good for me to see how inaccurate my threat assessments can be. Right. And then to have that experience in a safe way where now. I mean, you know, yes, bad things happen. Yes, bad things can happen. But living in a constant state of what now, you know, is a really. It's. It's not centered, and we're trying to use comedy to, you know, stay centered.

So. All right, I went on launch tonight, so I hope you guys enjoyed. Folks. I'm trying to stop saying guys, and I keep doing it. It's such a bad midwestern habit. So I'm gonna go with a different midwestern folks. Folks. Yeah. All right. Have a good night. Great to chat with you, Miss Jules. Always a pleasure. And next Sunday, I'm going to be at the Minnesota State fair, and a dear friend of mine is playing in a band, and it's an Allman Brothers tribute band, and I'm gonna be there, and it's gonna be excellent.

And it's been hard for me to go to concerts sober. But this is. I feel great about this at the Minnesota State Fair. It's very much a kid friendly place. I've been there a million times without alcohol. I feel very confident. And plus, you know, even in my drinking days, I didn't really like drinking there because it's, like, $12 for, like, a terrible beer. So, anyway, all right, you guys have a good night, and we will see you after Labor Day weekend.