Things We Aren't Supposed To Talk About

Cadre, good morning. Hello. This is Shannon. I'm waiting to see if this works. I think we're live. I cannot tell. Good morning. It is Shannon from the Cadre team. Welcome to Caregiver day on Cadre. For those of you who don't know me yet, I am part of the Cadre team. I am also a person who lives with anxiety. I live with CPTSD. I have a child on the spectrum. I actually have a child with multiple diagnoses, a lot of things, and I am here today wearing my red hat, which means, for those of you who know me well, means I haven't showered yet, means I'm getting ready for my day.

And so I'm wearing my red hat because this is me just rolling into life. So, good morning. So, Thursday's our caregiver day on Cadre, and if you didn't already see Steph and you didn't see our friend JC Lipple this morning, for people who care for people, which, frankly, are all of us, I see you, Angelo kid. I see your alpha nudge there. It's nice to see you, friend. Good morning, Jules. Ana, I see you joined as well. Good morning, everyone. Okay, so today. I'm sorry I'm laughing. My friend from the gym, jim, my friend Jim from the gym, is joining my live stream today, and I love to see him here.

He's also a caregiver, so he's just making me smile. Good morning, steph, erwin. Okay, so, today, you guys, I'm gonna reflect back to last week's live, where I spoke about my son who has autism, who wanted to go to homecoming, and it was last Friday, and I was really nervous about it. And I came on and I talked about me as his caregiver, putting limitations on him as a human, and how I didn't want to do that. So I just want to report back on what was a big moment for our. Oh, I'm gonna get emotional.

It was a big moment for our family last Friday because my son went to homecoming, my sweet 15 year old son, who knows he has autism and also is like, hey, mom, it doesn't mean anything. And I'm like, yeah, you're right. It doesn't. So he went to homecoming last Friday, and his dad took him to get measured. His dad got his, you know, his taco, Macy's, I think, got his shirt size and his pants and all the things. And so I showed up. He wanted me to take him. He was gonna meet some friends from the special ed group.

We're gonna go together so I showed up to get him, and he looked freaking amazing. I was like, oh, my gosh, you're the most handsome kid. And I took him to homecoming, and I was really nervous because I have a neurotypical son as well, who is a year older, and he was going with his girlfriend and his friends, and then my 15 year old was meeting his friends. But as we arrived, I didn't see anyone, right? I didn't see that group of friends. I didn't see the teachers I know. And I'm like, hey, you want me to take you in?

And he said, yeah. But he also said, mom, I can advocate for myself. And it was just, again, such a good check to be like, ah, you're right. You can. You're a fully functioning human being. And as much as I want to keep you safe and wrap you up in, you know, Saran wrap or whatever, you are a full human. And so he went to the dance. I left, came home, sat on the couch, freaking out, per usual. And his dad and I were texting back and forth, and I was like, oh, God, his phone's up 5%. Like, essentially just worrying about him out in the world, right?

But the most beautiful thing happened, which is his brother, who we do not ask to take on caregiving duties because it's not his job, called probably about an hour and a half into the evening and was like, hey, mom, I'm here with Wyatt, and he's ready to go home. And he was there with his brother. He was there with his group of friends, which is a big group of friends with their girlfriends. And I'm gonna say, you know, typical kids, right? And they were dancing together, and he's like, wyatt's in the middle of the circle dancing, and it's awesome.

And he's also ready to go home. So I went up to school and I picked him up, and my older son walked my younger son out, and it was this beautiful night, and my son got into the car, and he's like, mom, I went to homecoming, and it's making me emotional. It was a big night for his dad and I because what happened that night was he did advocate for himself. He had the best time at homecoming. My older son showed up with love and care. My older son's girlfriend showed up with love and care. All of these people showed up as a community together and had an awesome time.

And I had to come home. I dropped him off at his dad's, and he came home, and I had to take my dog for a walk at, like, 11:00 because, you know when you have, like, energy inside of you that you have to get out. And I did. And I was texting with his father, and we were like, look at how the world showed up for him. And, like, we need to stop putting limits on him because he's not putting limits on himself and neither is his brother or his community and all the things. So I wanted to wrap up that story because it was game changing for me as a caregiver to remind myself of his full ability, of my other son's full ability, of our community's full ability to care for each other.

m. she does a thing called I think she uses the word hope, scrolling like, let's hope scroll instead of doom scroll at night. And she talked about the Harry Potter book. And to be honest, I've never watched any of the movies. I know nothing about Harry Potter. I know literally nothing. But she talked about, I think it's the Muggles. So if that's wrong, that's fine. She talked about the Muggles, and she said that Harry, in the book, it was like Harry wasn't supposed to talk about the fact that he was different.

And then she said, but I think it's different for our kids, and I think it's different for the next generation, and I think that's true. And so particularly for those of us who have kids on the spectrum, who have kids with neurotypical, or, I'm sorry, neurodiverse brains. And honestly, it's for all of us. Whatever our thing is, whether it's my anxiety, whether it's OCD, whatever it is, it's just a reminder that that's normal. We're all normal. Our difference is normal. Our difference is just who we are.

And so I think there's. I am so heartened by our ability as this community and the cadres fear, but then also, you know, that next generation to see each other as just, like, people. And so it was just a huge day for my family. I wanted to share it with you guys at the Cadre sphere. I know I've shared it with some of you already. So thanks for bearing witness to it. All right, friends, rest of the day, we have Miss Shannon Paul coming up. She has a child on the spectrum. We have our fave harbor.

Nope. Kathy Joy speak wonder. She talks about caregiving. We have a whole host of folks coming up, and so thank you for joining us here today. You guys are doing an awesome job. Thank you. For being here. Jules. Thank you for being here. Jim from the gym. Thank you for being here. Ana Lisa. I don't know why. I know everyone has a nickname. That's okay. That means I love you. So I hope you have a beautiful day. We'll see you here again soon in the Cadre sphere. And you're doing a fantastic job being.