JC reflects on belonging in a Cadre and explores grief and loss as change, sharing his experience of giving up marathon running and inviting listeners to consider losses of purpose, passion, or activities and how they might respond.
You still have just as much worth and capacity if you don't feel fantastic as if you do. Here at Cadre, we are inviting you to see that there are many ways to doing this thing called life. A Cadre is a special group of people with a special intention.
It is New York City Marathon weekend. The live streams normally are all grief and loss focused. Grief and loss encompasses the practice of dealing with change. How do you consider these big ideas in your life?
JC: I've had some health stuff come up over the last ten months or so. Ran my last marathon in April. Now I'm on the other side of being a person who runs marathons. The grief and loss associated with a purpose, passion, activity that I no longer can engage in.
So I'm curious if you're out there listening this morning, it's an early one. What have you lost in terms of a purpose or a passion or an activity? Sometimes change is great. Sometimes change sucks. Sometimes changes opportunity.
Well, hey there, Cadre. How are you? I hope you are fantastic. But even if you're not fantastic, guess what? I still hope that for you. And if you feel as if being fantastic is a prerequisite for doing good or showing up, we're going to attempt to convince you otherwise. You still have just as much worth and capacity if you don't feel fantastic as if you do. And guess what? If you feel fantastic, but you're like, you know what? I don't want to show up today. I want to rest. I want to do something different.
Guess what? That's cool, too. Here at Cadre, we are inviting you to see that there are many ways to doing this thing called life. And when all of a sudden you see people like bezel bits, go ahead and sign on in here. We want to help you attach seeing that people are in this Cadre with you. A Cadre is a special group of people with a special intention. We want you to get used to going, wow. When I'm around other people who are considering the fullness and the complexity of life alongside you, that feels good.
My name is jc if we haven't shared time and space together before, welcome to the Minneapolis airport. I'm getting ready to hop onto a plane to fly to JFK because it is New York City Marathon weekend. Now, if your reactiveness just went, oh, my gosh, good luck in the marathon. Nope, I am not running. I am heading out there to cheer, to support people. And it's funny because as I look around, I can see people who probably are going to run. You can kind of sense someone who's getting ready to run a marathon, especially one of the biggies like New York on Fridays.
We talk about grief and loss quite often. Right. The live streams normally are all grief and loss focused. And as I said, we attempt to open up the door to going, how do you consider these big ideas in your life? So maybe your reaction is you hear grief and loss and you go, losing someone. Yeah. Grief and loss encompasses the loss of our loved ones, but grief and loss also encompasses the loss of the things that you do. Grief and loss encompasses the practice of dealing with change. So that's what I wanted to talk about today.
How do you deal with the loss of a passion or a purpose or an activity that has been part of you that no longer is. So you may be going like, okay, jc, why are you going like, who do you know who's running New York Marathon? I know. I know a good. A good handful of people because I've been in the running world. But I'm not going to cheer on anybody specifically. I'm going because I'm mourning a chapter of my life where, where I ran marathons. I'm a 40 time marathoner. I've done New York four times.
It's a beautiful, a beautiful experience because literally the world, the world comes to one of the epicenters of culture and collective society and this huge city where maybe it feels like you'd never be seen or known. Works really hard to see and know everybody. The day is filled with people going, I see you person, I don't know yet, and I'm throwing you some good energy right now. I've had some health stuff come up over the last ten months or so. Ran my last marathon in April. Didn't know at the time that I probably shouldn't have been running, but it was a memorable experience nonetheless.
And now I'm on the other side of being a person who runs marathons, at least in the way that I see the future for now. And it's funny because I kind of miss it. I ran my first marathon in 2006 and 20, 24, 18 years later, 40 marathons down. A lot of people go, oh, JC, you're the marathon guy. And I tell you, the amount of times that people come up to me and they go, ah, I haven't seen him in a while. Let's ask them about running because they know me as the running guy. And I go, nope, I'm not the running guy anymore.
Those moments are always navigated, right? Because all of a sudden people feel like maybe they shouldn't have said that. And lo, good morning, good morning, good morning. And in those moments, I'm faced with the reality of change again. The grief and loss associated with a purpose, passion, activity that I no longer can engage in. So I'm curious if you're out there listening this morning, it's an early one. What have you lost in terms of a purpose or a passion or an activity? Maybe a profession or a role that you fill that you go, gosh, how do I deal with this?
And I'll tell you, I'm not going to have the headline of here's how you deal with loss, purpose, passion and activity. Because so often with grief and loss, I think the desire is to tell people, here's how you stop grieving and losing, here's how you move on, here's how you let go. And even though the intention may be good, when people invite us to move on, let go, in reality we don't we move forward with the grief and loss of anything or anyone is an indicator, a sign of something that is important to us.
So it's interesting, as I see another person wearing a marathon jacket walk by, I go, ah. I am no longer someone who does that. Purpose, passion, and activity. And that's my reality. So I invite you today to consider your reality. What do you carry with you within your past, within your. Within your history, your narrative, your story? Where you go, huh, I used to be, or I used to do, or I used to invest, and now I don't. I'm not going to say, and that's okay. I'm not going to say, and things get better.
What I am going to say is that that is the best sentences are often the shortest ones. So often we go, like, change is hard or change is important or change is constant. I like saying change. And I'm seeing another person walk by who's running the marathon. Funny enough, I know her name's Carrie. She's heading out to run New York. Like, I'm sitting on the floor in a huge international airport, and I can go. That person has a purpose, passion, activity. That is. That is filling the cup. I guarantee you, I will walk up to Carrie in a little bit.
Carrie, how are you heading to New York? She's like, oh, yeah, Are you running? And I'll go, nope, I don't do it anymore. And she'll go, oh, what's wrong? Oh, I'm so sorry. And I'll go, yeah, you know how great, how great that we can do the thing. So, Biezovitz, you say changes, opportunity. Yeah. Sometimes short sentences are my favorite. So what I would say, Visa Bits, is this. Change is period. Sometimes change is great. Sometimes change sucks. Sometimes changes opportunity. Sometimes change is loss of opportunity.
And that honesty and that plurality is what brings us together. 2 miles on Sunday. And I'm also mourning the reality that I no longer have the opportunity to do that. How about you? Y'all have a great Friday. I will see you tomorrow morning from New York City. In the meantime, Dr. Charisse is coming up in about an hour, and then you'll see our friends from St. Croix Hospice come on this afternoon. Have a good one, y'all. We'll talk to you later.
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