If My Plate Could Talk: “Elevating Your Week through the Use Of Emotional Intelligence”

Hydrosphere. It's a new year and welcome to a new time. And then also noticing what's on your plate. Hello. Hello. Hello. In terms of how you're nourishing yourself and how you are feeding yourself, because what we eat and the way we choose to nourish ourselves or the lack of nourishment that we give ourselves absolutely shows up in our eating habits, our drinking habits, our sleeping habits, and our shopping habits. Happy New Year to everyone that is coming in. So do this for me to kick us off.

If you could choose one word that describes how your new year is started, off, has started off, what word would you choose? Could be any word, right? Choose one word to describe how. How your new year has started and put it in the chat. I'll think of mine. I would say, you know, let's hope it stays this way, that it started off balanced. I have done some very, very intentional things, marked off some intentional time to make sure that it didn't feel too rushed, that I don't feel like it was overwhelming and thrust in.

I love what I'm saying. Sassy. Constant, hectic. Yeah, Go with what comes to mind. I want this to be an honest point of reflection, hopeful. You know, you might have two words, but I want you to come with the first word that comes to mind. And that's probably something that I'm going to ask you each week, right? If you characterize the week before and how things are going, you know, what are you noticing so that you can move forward. So here's kind of our overarching thought for what I want to focus on tonight.

The test of emotional intelligence is not how you feel, it's how you respond. Right? How are you responding to uncertainty, the busyness, the hectic ness, the peacefulness, whatever it may be? The test of emotional intelligence is not how you feel, it's how you respond. I want you to consider that as you not only go into the week ahead, as you go into the entire year, how are you responding to what's happening in your life? Are you in alignment? Are your responses in alignment with what you say you value?

Are your responses in alignment with what you've identified as the goals for yourself? Do you even have goals for yourself now? You don't have to have a million of them. If you know me well, I'm big on routines, not resolutions. So I'm not talking about making this long list of goals that you're never really going to accomplish. But you need some type of vision to set your week, and that's One of the things that I will always encourage you to do each week is to decide for yourself before the week even begins.

What do you want to experience out of this week. Now, why do I bring up emotional intelligence? It's where I want us to start the year. It's what I want us to focus on. I'm in no way saying that you're not emotionally intelligent, but it is a skill that we develop. We are not born emotionally intelligent. It's always something that we can grow in. But in order to grow in it, we need knowledge, we need understanding, and we need application of that and to see how it can move and transform our lives.

So what is emotional intelligence? Simple definition. Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage both our own emotions and to understand the emotions of the people around us. So it's the ability to manage both our own emotions and our understand the emotions of the people around us. Now, let me give a caveat because you know I will. Some people cannot be understood. There is no excuse, honestly, for their emotions. So you don't always have to have understanding of other people's emotions. It's just enough understanding to inform, okay, based on what I see out of this person, based on what I see out of this system, this business, this situation, here's what I need to do for myself.

That's the level of understanding that I'm talking about. When you consider emotional intelligence, we'll get into this down the line. Part of that is because we will do one of two things when it comes to how we interact with ourselves and other people. We will either react or we will respond. Reacting. Just a very simple knowledge piece around that is often intuitive and impulsive. It's our first thought. It's based on emotion. It's happening in the limbic part of the brain. It is very reactive.

Somebody says something or does something, or you're by yourself and you have a thought and boom, you're reacting versus responding. Which takes time to reflect, to consider what's going on with me, what's going on with this situation, what am I really feeling? And does my response to this situation actually match what's happening? And that's something I want you to consider as you move through the week ahead in particular is to pay more attention, be self aware. Which is one of the first components or one of the components of emotional intelligence is your level of self awareness.

We'll talk about that more. Let's get into the foundational piece that we always get into during this time. Draw two circles, or you can just put A line down the middle of your paper. And on one hand I want you to take a moment, take two or three minutes, or you can pop a few things in the chat if you would like. And I want you to really write out what's on your plate and try to move and bridge away from just the here's all the things that I have to do. I'm not asking you to write a task list. I'm asking you to think about what are you carrying?

What's in the back of your mind? What's in the front of your mind? What's taking up your thought process? What are your concerns? Where's your uncertainty? What's coming, what's going? What's ending? What's beginning? Is grief on your plate? Is fear and apprehension on your plate? Is excitement on your plate? Is there a person on your plate? Someone that's very special to you? Is there a concern? Is there a hope? So really think deeply about all the things that consume your given week. Yes. You can put the things that you have a major project coming up going back to work if you had extended time off.

Nothing is too big or nothing is too small, but a big component of understanding how we react or we respond and our self awareness means, do I really know what's on my plate? And have I been honest? Can I be honest about what's on my mind? What responsibilities are weighing on me? And if you're open to sharing something that you're comfortable with, then pop in the chat something that's on your plate. Right. Whether that's a tangible dynamic or a metaphorical dynamic. Again, you always choose how far you lean in.

Ultimately, I want this to be a process that you consider every week so that it informs. Oh, that explains why I've been tired, that explains why I've been sad, that explains why I've been anxious is because I'm noticing what's on my week. Yeah. Hope for something new that may be coming. Will it happen? You. Yeah. Do you not perceive it? Man, I'm gonna do this for myself. Actually, I'm committing to doing the same thing for myself. Just the way I'm having you do it, but after our lives. So I don't take up that time because even in asking you the question, I could kind of feel all of these things popping up for me about what's on my plate.

There's change, there's transition, there's transformation, there's excitement, there's oh my gosh, what am I doing? And all of the above and all of that will play into what this week looks like for you, what this week looks like for you. And I want you to go into every week empowered. That's going to be a big piece after what this is all about. Oh, daughter going back to college this week after knee surgery. Man, have I been there. I remember the year that my son had a major injury in knee surgery and I felt great when I could be near him and I could, you know, mother and make sure he took everything when he was supposed to and do all the things and then you have to take them back or leave them.

And you're like, oh, are they gonna do what they need to do without me? That doctor doesn't know as well as I do. I've had this child all my life. Those are big things. And those are things to consider on the other side as you continue to put in the chat what's on your plate? I want you to take time to go, how have I been nourishing myself based on what's on my plate? Maybe your response is, I haven't. I'm not doing a great job nourishing myself. Now notice that I'm using the word nourish not just eat because I don't want it to just be about food choices.

That's big. But the motivation behind the way we choose food or don't choose food. Oh, I'm not eating much. I'm eating more than normal. I'm not nourishing myself because I'm not doing good things to myself because I'm overburdened by all of these things on my plate. Oh, you're working on your dissertation. From one PhD person to a pending PhD person. You can do this. I promise. Take your time. Believe in yourself. You can do this. And my heart goes out to you for the grief and survivor's guilt that you're feeling.

Thank you for that deep share. How are you nourishing yourself? What have you noticed about your eating habits and ways that you are caring for yourself? Here's something that you may already know today's hard truth. When we're not nourishing ourselves, well, it says something about our self esteem and about our level of health and well being. It's hard to admit. If we're not doing those basic activities of daily living and above, if we're not showering on a regular basis, if we're not caring for what we put on our body, if we're not getting outside and getting sunshine, those are very small things.

And then adding to that joyful connection, finding Things to be a part of that give us purpose. That says something about your state of emotional well being and it will weigh you down or make you feel stuck. And maybe you are stuck. And if you are in a place that you find yourself stuck, remind yourself that you are the greatest factor in your life and you have the ability to get out of that. And that is what I want for you this week. If you're doing great at how you're nourishing yourself, do not stop and make sure that your plate doesn't get so heavy and bogged down that you then put yourself in the background.

The other thing that I want you to do with those two sections, but specifically with the side of what's on your plate, kind of tangibly, metaphorically, what needs to come off of your plate, that's a big thing that we don't often give ourselves permission. Some of you, at the very beginning of this live, heard me mention, if you have your schedule for the week, pull your schedule out. Or you can do that when we're done. I want you to look at your schedule across the week. And if you notice that looking at your schedule makes you feel down or overwhelmed or doesn't produce a balanced reaction, something needs to change.

What needs to come off your schedule or what needs to come on your schedule? Where do you need to add something in? Because having something to look forward to is a big part of increasing dopamine and improving your health and well being. Having weeks where you just do the same thing over and over without any change is a setup for a depressive state. It really is. We need variety and excitement and something to look forward to every week. The other thing that I want to ask you to consider is have you planned for rest?

Is rest one of the things that you mentioned on your plate? How are you being intentional with rest and not just sleep? There is a difference between sleep and rest. Sleep is a given. Rest is a wakeful rest in which you choose and intend to slow down, to savor and to do things that pour into your cup. Okay, success tip for the week. Find a consistent time and place to devote to reflection and planning. Preferably on today. My hope, my goal, is that we spend these times together. I will continue to expand on what I give you.

This is kind of the introductory time of how we're reshaping this. And then maybe for a few minutes right after this, it would be a great time for you to reflect and plan for what's happening this week. What does success look like for me this week? How Can I build on what I said I wanted to do so that it does not get away from me? If you made a vision board, whether that's digitally or hands down, maybe this is the time that you look at that and go, am I still connected to this? Am I doing anything with this?

Do I need a vision? Do I have one? If you are waking up every day and you are going through the motions, you lack vision. And where there's a lack of vision, there is a downness, a death, a dying that happens inside of us where we don't feel fully alive, where we're just going through and waiting for the next day to start, and the days feel really long and really hard. You deserve more than that. You were created for more than that success. Tip. Find a consistent time and place every week to devote to reflection and planning.

And here's a reflection question for you for this week. Write this down if you have the opportunity. What is the big goal that you're working towards this quarter? Hint, hint. If you don't have one, I need you to get one. What is the big goal? Big is relative. What are you working on? One big goal that you're working on this quarter, that could be a fitness goal, that could be an emotional goal, that could be a professional development goal, it could be a caretaker goal where you're working on getting something taken care of for the person that you are caring for and trying to find the energy and resources to do it.

You decide what that looks like. And the two part reflection question to that is, what progress do you want to make towards it this week? What is the big goal you're working towards this quarter? Notice three months to really hone it in and then what progress do you want to make towards it this week? Now let me leave you with an affirmation. This is something that I will do each week. You can take it or not, but it's based on what we said. Starting off affirmation. I am responsible for how I respond.

Now, I know usually affirmations are all warm and fuzzy and I will, but I want you to take responsibility for the fact that no one can make you feel any way other than what you allow. People say things, people do things. That's not. We're not abdicating their responsibility, but how you respond to that, on you, it's on me. And when we take responsibility for how we respond, we eliminate excuses. We are more productive and make more progress because we realize, like, hey, how I respond to the goals I've set for myself is on me.

How I respond to the people who are in my life is on me. How I respond to the people who should not be in my life that I allow stay in my life is on me. How I respond to my body when I'm not caring for it is on me. I am responsible for how I respond. I dare you to wake up and say that to yourself every day. I am responsible for how I respond. There is power in that. There's power in knowing that people can't take you out of pocket unless you let them. As you head into this week, I want you to be encouraged.

I want you to feel empowered and I want you to win the week. Like, go be great this week. Go after everything that you want, even while grief and uncertainty and chaos and overwhelm and all those other things mutually exist. Even then, be the very best you can be and remind yourself that at any point you choose, you get to decide what's on your plate and what needs to come off. You get to decide how you nourish yourself. But at all costs, whatever you do, please don't take you off your plate. It was great.

So glad to be here with you. So glad you chose to come. Listen to this as many times as you need to share this with someone else who might be looking for an anchoring time to start their week and I will see you soon. Have a good one.