Coffee Chats w/ Dr. D

Cadre, what's up? It's me, Dr. D, and I'm here for my coffee chat, and I'm gonna give y'all a few minutes to get. Coming in. Sorry I'm a little bit late. I just got out of another meeting with the ladies that are my co authors for the book. It's an anthology called Voices of Women that came out last summer, and we're planning something special for March for Women's History Month. Hello. Ray Ray. I love that name. Ray Ray, Welcome. Hi, Jules. So if you guys saw anything that I posted online about my coffee chat today, I wanted to see what you guys are drinking and if you can guess what's in my cup today.

So let me know what you think. What's in my cup? What kind of coffee do I have? What flavor is it? Is it a cappuccino? A latte? Let me know what you think. And, Luke, I want to know more about that brand that you mentioned on LinkedIn. So I am. I'm trying to get away from Starbucks, y'all. It's hard because Starbucks is everywhere. But I want to get into some more different brands of coffee that I can find online just to support different companies and help them grow as well. So let me know. I'll tell you guys what's in my cup at the end of this chat today, but I want to get into.

It is Nespresso. It's made by Nespresso, but what flavor is it? But I want to get into something that happened this past weekend, and I don't know if it impacted y'all. It did not impact me, but I saw how it impacted so many people, and I don't even know if I can say the word. But, you know, TikTok, the TikTok ban, can we get into it? Because that was the most toxic experience that I've witnessed. The impact is so many people, and when I reflected on it, it just reminded me of a toxic relationship.

So I'm gonna tell you why. Okay? I had to take some notes on this because I'm just shocked by the response of the TikTok ban. Now, we had heard about this several times, that TikTok was going away, that it wouldn't be official. It came and went, right? So the idea of getting rid of TikTok was. I think it was around sometime last year, and it didn't happen. So when it happened this time, no one really believed it was really going to happen. And then from what I saw, it happened before it was supposed to happen.

So a few Hours early. And I think that put a lot of people in a panic. A lot of people went into shock. And I see, you know, TikTok videos that people kind of repost on different social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook and so on Instagram. One thing I noticed was that there were content providers or creators that had a TikTok as well, that they were experiencing so many different emotions. And a few. And I had to write these down because it was just all over the place. And y'all tell me if y'all saw this too.

But a few emotions that got revealed with this TikTok ban. I witnessed anger in some people's posts. I saw sadness, confusion, shock. People even blamed certain people. They blamed the government, they blamed. I don't know who else was involved. But then TikTok came back just a few hours later, and then there was a sigh of relief. Now, think about how toxic that is. That is just a perfect example of a toxic relationship. Okay? So if you've ever been through a toxic relationship or if you've witnessed someone who's dealt with that, these are the same signs, the same experiences in a toxic relationship.

So there is this buildup phase when you're in a relationship that you know is not quite healthy. And if you think about our relationship to social media, I won't talk about Cadre, because Cadre is here for good things, right? But other social platforms, you know, we have sometimes an unhealthy relationship with social media. Some people use it for the wrong things. Some people use it to get attention. Some people use it to feel connected, even though it's a false sense of connection. And people felt connected through TikTok.

And I wanted to look at the statistics with it. Just something I found today, that there was over a billion users every month around the world on TikTok. A billion people are on TikTok once a month, at least all around the world. That's a lot of people. And the majority of the TikTok users were ages 18 to 24. So 18 to 24 in the US for example. That's the stage where people are, you know, getting out of their family's homes. They are going out and experiencing the world on their own for the first time.

They're making new connections. They're trying to figure out who they are. And if that group of people are using TikTok and that specific platform to figure out life and getting their information about how to be. It can be toxic. There's not always great things on TikTok. There's not always great information uploaded onto other social media platforms. Now, Cadre, we're here for good things, right? We're a little bit different in this community. But think about that relationship there. It's being.

It's rooted in some toxicity. And so there's this hint TikTok's going away. So it's just like with the toxic relationship, there's a buildup phase. You can kind of see some of the red flags, but you're not paying attention to it or you see the red flags and you don't think that it's really going to happen or it's going to get worse. And so you stay in that relationship. And how many people stay with TikTok even though they thought, thought and heard that, hey, they're gonna leave, right? But then the breakup happened.

And I think that breakup of tick tock with the world, it was like this sense of shock, like, oh my gosh, they really did it. They really left me. And maybe some people felt abandoned, right? And that happens in a toxic relationship too. Even though there's a. There's toxicity and unhealthiness in that relationship, when that person leaves, even though they're bad for you, it still hurts, there's still confusion, there's still anger involved because there's detachment, there's a loss of connection there.

So we can have connection. That's healthy and unhealthy connection. But when it's gone, it still hurts the same, right? And so then TikTok was like, you know what? Just kidding. I'm back just a few hours later. And that happens in toxic relationships, especially when there's domestic violence, there's that cycle of abuse where, you know, you get blamed, the person leaves, there's this incident that happens, then there's this detachment there. The person who's the abuser, the perpetrator, I won't call TikTok a perpetrator, but with the perpetrator, they might blame you.

Well, I left because you were doing bad things, or I left because this. Right? And then that person apologizes, I'm so sorry I did that. I'm back. Please forgive me. I'm back into your life. And we just accept it. And that's exactly what we did. We accepted TikTok back. And there was a sigh of relief. And if you see people who are content creators on this platform, there is a sigh of relief, like, oh my gosh, all my content is still there. And oh my gosh, I get to create again. Oh, my gosh, I feel so much better because you're back in my life.

But how healthy is that relationship? So I want to challenge you to think about your own relationships, not just with TikTok, but your relationship with social media. And is social media not Cadre? But is social media getting in the way of you having authentic and healthy connections that are real in person? So has social media gotten in the way of connection in real time? So is it getting in the way of your connection with your family, with your partner, with your friends, with your children? Right.

Has Tick Tock been something that's, you know, I won't just put it on Tick tock. It's all social media for real. Has it been something that is toxic in your life because it is pulling you away from the things that you really need to connect to the people in your life, not just the people that you meet online? You know, this platform here with Cadre, I love it. I think we're all here for great things. We're here to support each other, to encourage each other. You know, the content providers here are coming and sharing, you know, we're sharing our personal background, our expertise to help others be better.

And this is how it should be. It should be a place where we are uplifting each other and not talking bad about each other, not talking bad about bad things in the world, but finding ways to find the good. And I love that this space is here for us. So I want to encourage everyone to find a new Cadre content provider. I don't look, what do you call us? But find a new person to follow today on Cadre. You know, I want to thank everyone that comes into this space to share this time with me. And even if you're watching the replay is it's really humbling.

And it's an honor that I get to share this time with you every week. I have a special coffee chat coming up next month because I'll be hitting my one year anniversary. Cadre can't believe it's been a year already. But I want to thank everyone that's coming in today. And so if you can put in the chat what you think is in my cup, I'll give you all a second to do that. And I'm about to tell you. So go ahead and drop it in the. In the chat. Is it vanilla? Is it cinnamon? Is it honey? Those are some of my favorites, by the way.

Is it a cappuccino? Is it a latte? And the answer is, I have a creamy vanilla latte. And it's actually Starbucks, y'all, because that's the only brand that I have for my Nespresso machine. But if you guys know of any other coffee makers that make Nespresso pods, let me know. Lavender. Jules, look, lavender sounds so good. I don't know how it would taste with coffee, but I might try it someday. Thanks for the suggestion, but I want to thank you guys for joining me today for my coffee chat. I'll be back next week, same time, same place.

All right, y'all have a great day. Bye.