Live with Dr.Charryse 🧠: 10 Things That Give Your Power Away”

Well, hello, Cody Sphere. Welcome back. For another moment for us just to be together, to learn, to talk, to educate, to share all the things. I'm so glad that you're here. I'm so glad that you decided to show up for yourself and show up in this space. Can we just acknowledge that it takes a lot of energy sometimes to show up for ourselves? Good morning, good afternoon, good evening to everyone who's joining. Hello. Speak Wonder. I think I said Joycelyn. The name's coming so fast, I'm sure I won't see them all.

And some of them are not your exact names, but Jules. Hello, T. Brown. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to live with Dr. Shareese. Hello, Audrey. As always, let us know where you are in the world. Say good morning or good afternoon. Let me also encourage, if you're watching this on a replay, I come back to these lives to make sure that I'm in tune with what you said, what your thoughts are, what your connections, along with saying replay. Feel free as I go through and I ask questions to give your insight.

Just because you weren't here live doesn't mean not to participate. A lot of people come back and replay these and gain insight from each other. This is your first time in this space on Wednesdays. Hello from the frozen interlands hinterlands of Erie, Pennsylvania. You can keep that ice. It's. It's North Carolina cold here. Hello, Statesboro, Georgia. And man, it is. It's enough for me. I also see some people. Hello, northern Minnesota. Gotta make sure I say that right. Rating their week, which we consistently do.

Hello, South Carolina. So rate your week 0 to 10 or 1 to 10, meaning 1, the lowest, 10, the highest. If I would rate my week for now, I would give it a 8. I give it a solid 8. Like it hasn't been this, like, fantastic, incredible week, but I'm rocking the week to the degree that it is. Hello, Richmond, Virginia. Always love. Hello, South Carolina. If I missed you seeing where everyone is. And let's go ahead. Oh, it's your first time on Cadre. Welcome. We're so glad you're here. Hopefully you will love this space.

I encourage you to come back and then definitely take a look at all the other contributors and providers. It's a really great space and everyone else can help you. So let me explain this. Why do we rate your week? You know, Audrey, let me say my sleep has been off too. I think this might not be something that you all ascribe to. My body is very sensitive to barometric pressure changes and seasonal changes. And I do know that it's a full moon. I feel those. I can tell you honestly what phase of the moon we're in, if it's about to rain, if it's about to storm all the things, and my sleep goes accordingly.

I'm not saying, Audrey, that that is what you are dealing with, but I felt that. And you are a 10. Marchie 401373. That is phenomenal. And hello, Dallas. So have you ever had a moment where you felt like, I feel drained. But maybe you couldn't pinpoint exactly what was making you feel that way? There's a number of reasons that we can feel drained. Sometimes it can be purely biological reasons. Maybe your pace has been going a million miles an hour. There can be psychological reasons that we are feeling drained.

There's a lot in our mind. There's stress, there's anxiety. We are anticipating something. Seasonal shifts. January again is this tricky dynamic because we think new year, but we don't have new energy. We really don't. It's actually a time that we're still designed to be deepening and to be resting and to be slower, so our mind and our body can feel like we're in two different places. You're still very much coming off of 2024. And it's been pretty interesting as I've checked in with people and kind of how their year ended.

A lot of people felt like the end of the year was kind of was good, but heavy at the same time. Like it wasn't this, oh, I feel so rested and light as I come into the new year. It can be a number of things. I want you to do this for me First, I want you to tell me in the chat what are two things that, you know, hands down, drain your energy, Two things that you have learned over time. Your energy is low when either you're doing these particular things or these particular things are happening in your life.

I will even think for myself while you're doing the same. I would say the two things that I know really can kind of still my internal power and drain my energy are one very negative people. People who are going through everyday things, not necessarily like catastrophic things, but just everyday things. And it's all they can talk about. Almost like they're in that refusal to see that anything is good because something isn't working the way that they want. Oh, yes, lazy people. I need to, like, move that up on my list.

I had another one, but I'm going to use that. And I would say, yes, the second one. Would be when people refuse to take ownership in their life. Right. It's possible, it's capable. Oh, I can resonate with grown children who are struggling and I was talking to someone else the other day around when we're in that place in life as well where someone is struggling and we feel like we can't do anything about it. Yep. When your diet is off, stressful evening obligations. This is a week for me where I have a million obligations going.

But what I want to focus on today is one, making sure that you are in great awareness of what are the things that drain my energy. But also let's add to that, what are the things that steal your power? We might not want to admit it, but we all enjoy feeling powerful. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's not cocky. Feeling powerful doesn't mean that we want to lord over or rule over other people. It means that we want that internal element of feeling empowered in our lives, of feeling success, of feeling as much harmony as we can.

And that's a high part of our well being. Here's a question for you. When's the last time you felt powerful? Like really like you are standing in your power and it felt great. Some of you that may be never because you don't give yourself permission to do so. And if that's you, try it out. There is something very valuable to your well being, to your motivation, to your mental health when you feel like you can stand in your power and not talk yourself out of it. And again, try to adjust your definition and not see power as something that rules over someone, but someone that just kind of makes you stand tall and makes you feel really good about the things that you're doing for yourself.

I feel like I feel most empowered when I have days where I am like, I held myself down, I took care of me, I nourished myself well, I moved my body, I did the best that I could. I took care of the things that were before me. But not adding too much pressure. When the day just feels like, hey, I showed up today and I own it, it feels very empowered. But when is the last time you felt empowered? And just kind of hold that to the side. And then I want to walk through today. 10 things. I won't elaborate on these because I'm going to use this as the springboard for where we're going to go forward.

10 things or habits that can give your power away. So going back to how we started, sometimes that fatigue, that exhaustion is because we are doing things that deplete our power and steal our power. So number one, 10 things that give away your power over explaining. And I'm going to ask you to call yourself out. So when I name one of these and you know, oh, maybe I've done that, I just want you to say guilty, right? You're not really guilty, but it's just a way for us to normalize that we've been there.

Over explaining will deplete your power because it's exhausting. You're constantly talking to somebody and trying to tell them the same thing over and over. You feel like you've got to come up with the perfect words to justify your decision. No, no, you do not. You can give an explanation one time, maybe two at the most, if it's somebody that you really care about. And you need to add a little point of care for, you know, clarification. But the more you over explain, or yeah, you can do googly eyes speak wonders.

Like, maybe you're talking about me, maybe you're not. Some kind of reaction where I know it's you that is draining and it can make you question your choices. Number two, holding grudges. And let me say, I can't wait to get into this one in the future. Holding grudges isn't always this big. Rooted. You're sitting in unforgiveness. But resentment is also in some ways, holding a grudge. It can be someone has done something to you that you don't like and you didn't say anything, you didn't handle it.

So it's built up over time and created a level of resentment. And things aren't the same between you and that person. I fully admit I can move through things and forgive quickly, but I keep receipts. I'm going to be honest, I keep receipts. I may not necessarily pull them out and show them to you, but in the back of my mind, I am like, oh, I have not forgotten. I am paying attention. We'll get into it. I love the googly eyes that you guys are giving on that one. The resentment is real. And resentment, resentment destroys us and the relationship that we're trying to maintain.

Number three, giving away your time. Now, sometimes vocationally, we might be in situations where giving our time is part of what we do. This is referring to giving away time that you don't have to give. Repeatedly giving away time that would be more useful in other ways. Giving away time that you need to spend resting, recovering, writing Joycelyn's like, I show my receipts. That is hilarious. So question for the week. Where are you Giving away your time, and it's coming at a cost. I think that's really helpful.

Number 1, 2, 3, 4. Trying to fix everything. Raise your right hand and repeat after me. I cannot fix everything in my life or the life of the people that I love. Raise your hand. Do it one more time. I cannot fix everything in my life and in the life of the people that I love and the lives of the people that I love. Are you a fixer? Being a fixer or attempting to be a fixer will give away your power because you start getting into things that are beyond your locus of control, beyond your locus of concern, or should be outside of your locus of concern.

And you're diverting that energy from different places I'm loving. See, this is such a beautiful place of self acceptance. We can all be honest in here. What happens in the cosmosphere stays in the cosmic sphere. And the only way that we grow together is that we acknowledge, like, wow, you know, that's me. I'll tell you, it was funny. As I was coming up with this list, I was like, ooh, ooh, ooh. So please know, I'm even talking to myself with many of these. I can see these showing in my life. This is a big one.

Giving too many chances. I can do that. I can cut. But I also have this really big empathetic heart with certain people that can cause me to go, well, maybe giving too many chances will give away your power and exhaust you. So is a fixer the same thing as feeling like the bridge? Yes, because if you're trying to be the bridge, if you're trying to be the connector, if you're trying to be the person that keeps two people going, well, you're trying to fix it. I will give a very candid example. I'm the peacemaker in my family.

One of them, I'll say, but one, you know, primary peacemaker. There are two people in my family that clash because they are similar. And so I very easily got into a role of trying to be the bridge and let me help you see, your partner and London Bridge came falling down because at a certain point, those two individuals usually were focused on me managing them versus needing to go to each other and manage. And then it became a whole thing of having to step back. So, yes, it can absolutely be the same thing.

So number one was over explaining. Two, holding grudges. Three, giving away your time. Four, trying to fix everything. Five, giving too many chances. Six, disregarding your intuition, your discernment, your gut. You know, something's not right for you and you talk yourself out of it and do it anyway can drain your power. 7. Neglecting all that you have. So focusing on your lack instead of focusing on what is before you and your presence and really tapping into gratitude can drain your power. 8. Silencing your voice and your needs is huge.

Even quiet ones. Sometimes they're not big needs, but sometimes those little small needs are some of the most important ones. And when you silence them and you do not voice them and you hold them inside and you internalize them and you ask yourself, why isn't anyone willing, willing to meet my needs? It might be because you have not communicated them and because of that it has left you feeling powerless or exhausted and overwhelmed or not important or undervalued. Number nine, comparing yourself to other people.

Again, comparison doesn't always have to be this blatant huge, oh, I want to look like them or this. It can also be, I wish I was more like this other person. They're so this. I'm not that way. You are who you are and that's enough. So standing in your power means you don't need to talk like anybody else. You don't need to think like anyone else. You don't need to see who other people are and think. You need to be more of that. Be the very best you that you are. And that is how you stand in your power.

And number 10, avoiding the present day moment being so far in the past or the future that it's hard for you to even be satisfied with what's currently happening. If it takes you a ton of energy to be in the moment, then we've got some work to do. It's okay, there's no shame, but we definitely have some work to do. So that that is not your experience. Those are our 10, 10 things that can give your power away. I want you to leave with this thought and then we will continue each of these and expand on them and I'll actually tell you how to work on them.

So I'm not just going to leave you feeling like, oh, all the things, the good parts are coming. Your energy is currency. Invest it where it multiplies, not where it diminishes. That's your action step. Your energy is your currency. Your energy is a part of your power, part of standing in your power. Invest it where it multiplies, not where it diminishes. Okay, listen to these 10. Just notice for this week, where do you see yourselves in them? And then come back. It's okay if you've checked almost all of these boxes, but, yeah, it can help us go.

No wonder I feel that way. I promise you, I had the same thought. I was like, wow. I even shared this list with my young adult kids, and they were like, oh, I do these. I do these. I do these right? And then we're walking around going, man, why am I so tired? Because we are giving away our power. But I'm going to help you s***** it back. I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful week. If you join me on Sundays, then I'll see you Sunday evening for if your plate could talk. And if not, I'll see you next week.

Have a phenomenal week and take care of yourself.