Harbor Pilots

Good morning, Cadre. How are you today? Well, my name is Kathy Joy. My theme is Harbor Pilots and I love being on the Cadre any day of the week, as a consumer, as a friend, as a neighbor, leaning over the fence for a good conversation. That's how it feels when I join anybody's livestream or replay or their prepared videos. And lately I just love going into the community, you know, the stream where we talk, where we just share the chat, the conversation thread. So many techie words we can attach to that poyab.

Good morning. I love listening to your lives and watching your dynamics on screen and your connectivity is tremendous. Just really enjoy you. So good morning everybody. If you could put in the chat as we're talking, it'll make more sense. So you can put it in the chat now or as, as this conversation continues. And my question today is, are the waters around you calm or are they choppy? Just one word in the chat. Calm or choppy? Hi staff, and you'll see what I mean. C. lipple described it on his live this morning for Harbor Pilots is in the template of being at sea or on a big lake.

I live next to a big lake, so I, I enjoy referring to Lake Erie as my template. And being in a boat, you don't even have to be a nautical person or a person who boats or even a person who lives near water to understand the dynamics of being at sea or on a lake. When the waters get choppy, when we are caregivers, sometimes the water is not trustworthy. It's choppy and we think we've just managed one wave and here comes another, and that is the life of a caregiver. And sometimes the waters are calm, sometimes the sea is placid and smooth and the lake is almost a reflection of the sky.

It's so pretty and so calm and without turmoil. So I actually googled what do captains at sea do when the waters are calm? And here's what I found. These may include other tasks, such as adjusting the anchor scope. Okay, friends, I have no idea what that means, but adjusting the anchor scope, you know, make those adjustments because the water is calm. What things in your life can you maybe tweak or adjust while things are relatively calm around you and the swirl has left? Are there some things you might focus on during this interval, this blessing, relative quiet?

The captain might also maintain a calm presence, though. That's universal. Maintain a calm presence. We can do that when the focus is not on the, the fire we're putting out or the mess one of the kids just made, or the smarting, painful remark that the elder your caregiving just made to you out of dementia, out of frustration, out of their troubled waters. Sometimes those statements, those remarks do sting, and they do cause a barb in us. So maintaining a calm presence is what the captain does when the seas are calm, also ensuring this ship's stability.

So as we kind of weed out things in our lives, think about what we can keep on our plate and what perhaps we could discard. That's a good time to do it. When your waters are calm, ensuring the ship's stability and finally, planning the next voyage. I think that's my favorite one of all. When we're calm and when the waters are not choppy, we can think about our next voyage. We can imagine an adventure. We can circle something on the calendar that might be a friend's weekend or a coffee date or a phone call when we can barely come up for air because of swirling waters.

We're not exactly planning our next voyage, are we? However, during those intervals, during the ebb and flow of life, when things settle out a bit, we can plan our next voyage. I don't know where you are in your caregiver life, in your life in general, whether it's all a swirl around you or whether it's relatively calm or whether it's completely quiet. But during these blessed intervals of quiet, there's some things you can do, like the captain, adjust your anchor scope, whatever that means in your world, ensure the ship's stability, maintain a calm presence, and plan the next voyage.

Poyab says right now, calm. Steph says, choppy. Bless you. Yep. So I had a couple of other notes I wanted to add to those thoughts. So we do have clarity when the waters are calm. A poet. You know me, I find poetic turns of phrase. A poet said the sea was so calm, it was holding its breath, and the water came as a gentle whisper. Wish I'd written that. The sea was so calm it was holding its breath and the breeze came as a gentleman whisper. So, friends, this is your pause, your interval. Do welcome it, do embrace it when it comes.

Be present. Breathe deeply, Wade through the shallows. When I go to Lake Erie in the summertime, especially in the early mornings, I wade through the shallows, the coves and the shoreline to find little sparkly bits of beach glass. And I put them in my pocket, I bring them home, I collect them in a jar, and I put them in my sunny kitchen window. So wade in the shallows, go exploring. And I Don't know why this came to me. It's kind of a word picture, but here we go. The coolest thing of all about calm waters is you can sip your coffee and it doesn't spill.

A day when we sip and don't spill is a rare, splendid day. And honestly, folks, the days where all is a swirl and the waters are choppy, those are blessings, too, because your friends show up, your harbor pilots, those who are assisting you in your journey, will come and surround you with their calming presence and with their focus and clarity. Because perhaps their day is not like yours and they can be with you. Perhaps their day is exactly like yours and they can empathize. We do have people on the Cadre, splendid human beings who join us in our waters and they welcome us.

And on some days, we have to ask them, would you please climb in the ship and take over the helm and steer me to the safety of the harbor? Because I need to disembark for a while and I need to find my feet and I need to refocus before I can plan my next voyage. Thank you, Steph. Thank you for being here on the Cadre, for the way that you give and receive encouragement. It's as though we're all at a long table. And as we're sitting on this long banqueting table, we're too close to the food in front of us, but we can reach the food in front of you.

And so we can feed each other, encourage one another. We can extend nourishment to each other and be fed in community, in connectivity. You're a beautiful soul. I'm glad you joined me. Stay on the Cadre for more to come today. And if you can't join the live, join the replay. So many times the phone rings when I'm about to join a live stream. And if it's, you know, something I need to tend to, I will. Because I have that reassurance that I can always join my friend later and see what he or she has to say.

Be blessed, be well, take deep breaths. And when you can, drink your coffee during the intervals of the day when it's not going to spill. For my final parting thought, I'm going to show you the other side of my coffee cup. It says grandma established 2021. That was the year my oldest daughter made me a grandmother. And my name is Oma. Oma. Goodbye for now. Thanks for joining. You're the best.