Get To the Root with Rachel Logan

Hey, Luke. Hello, everyone. Welcome to get to the Root with Rachel. Today we are jamming to Michael Jackson. I hope you guys are having a wonderful day. Happy Wednesday. Come on in, come on in, Come on in. We jamming, y'all. Something happens when you play good music. I know I say that all the time, but I was in a grocery store yesterday and this song was playing, and I'm, like, just going down the aisle and I'm dancing and it was. It was cool. I'm having a good time. But something happens when you play.

Michael. Good morning, Jules. We jamming to Michael this morning. Yes. Good tunes. Absolutely. You just want to be starting something. I ain't trying to start nothing, y'all. But we're gonna have a good topic today. We're talking about the how to's. Hi, Becky. Welcome, welcome, welcome. We are talking about how to. I got a good one today, so come on in. Grab your paper and pencil. Grab something. Drink. Something to drink. I got some strawberry lemonade. All right, let's get on into it. I hope you guys having a wonderful morning.

Thank you, Luke. I appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you. We are getting to the root in this month. We are talking about how to. How to. And so I have a really good, juicy one, how to. Last week, we talked about how do you manage negative thoughts? Because they do pop up. They're like flies. They just kind of come out of nowhere. Right? You remember, like, negative thoughts pop up and they're like, just annoying. So we have to learn how to. How to manage them. Right? And so today I'm scoot this back.

So today. Are you ready? Today we're talking about how to end unhealthy relationships. How do you end unhealthy relationships? So I'll pause Michael. We'll come back to him at the end of the segment. And how do you end unhealthy relationships? So I want to pose it to you first, so drop it in the chat. How have you, you know, ended unhealthy relationships? Rather it's with a partner, a friendship, co worker, business partners. How do you end? And it might not even be unhealthy. Maybe it's just. It's just time to go.

Maybe it's just time to end it. And sometimes it's scary to end relationships, even if they're good. Even if they're good. I had. I was in a business relationship. I was. I was in a business relationship with someone where we were doing ongoing podcast and love them. It was a. It's a group of us. Amazing Amazing, amazing group of people. But I am walking in a place where I want congruency and alignment. And if something is not aligned with my purpose all the way, some things I have to let go. That's just where I'm at.

And so even though this relationship was great and I love the people I'm working with, I had to let it go. And that was hard and it was scary, and all the things came to my head, like, am I making the right choice? But there are signs to know when you need to end a relationship, rather is healthy or unhealthy. Thanks, Becky. Thank you for admitting it. You have to end relationships sometimes. So how do we do that? Okay, how do we do that? The first step to ending healthy or unhealthy relationships really, really is knowing what you want.

That's step number one. What do you want? Because there are typical. Typically, there are signs when you need to end it, good or bad. And one of the signs that I've noticed, and I'm curious for you, you tell me in the chat, when do you know you need to end a relationship? What are the signs? What are the signs that you need to end a relationship, rather, is good or bad? I'm gonna just take a deep breath with you guys, because we gotta know. The first thing we got to know is, what are the signs? What do I want?

So I'm in this healthy relationship with this group of counselors, and we're doing podcast work, and we're doing great work. Something didn't sit well because I'm moving in a different direction. So one of the signs for me was that I'm moving in a different direction and my plate was over. Was. Was too full. So if I added something else, that was truly where I want to go, if I add that on, things will spill over and I won't be able to manage. Right. So for me, the working space in this working relationship, I just knew I couldn't take.

I. I couldn't do both. It. My plate would be too full. Jewel said, when I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time, yes, that's a clear sign. When you are on 10 and you can't be yourself and you're nervous and you're anxious around this person all the time. Yeah, that's a sign. Becky said, my car is ready. Break that down for me, Becky. What does that mean? When your car is ready? Like, when your car is fixed up, when your heart is fixed up and you can, like, jet, like, peace out, or just as I Can't be me.

If I have to do. Absolutely. Yes. Yes. For. For me. I know a sign for me is frustration. When I'm frustrated of, like, helping you or doing things, it's a sign. That's a sign because at one point it was good. I. I enjoyed it. It was. But then when I find that I'm, like, annoyed or irritable and you're. You're. The person is acting the same way, they're doing the same thing, but anything that they're doing is irritating me and they literally being the same person, that's my cue. That's my cue that I need to end the relationship.

And two, it's like when we go against my values. When you. When things no longer match me or my values, it goes against my morals. It's a sign. So any other sign. So, Jules, help me understand. Not Jules. Becky. Becky, help me understand more. Jules, I'm definitely. I'm definitely with you. I can't be myself. I can't be myself. What are we doing? What are we doing? Yes. So how. Okay, so step number one is to just know. Like, know your signs. Irritation, walking on eggshells. Frustration. If you're no longer aligning with your value system, that is a clear sign.

Okay. And. And you yourself, you know, like, how you say things in your mind, in your heart, that maybe hasn't came out ver. And you made up in your mind, like, I can't do this no more. Like, you said it up in here, but it didn't come out here yet or out here yet. That's a sign. Like, what are you saying in your heart? Once you sit with yourself and you've made the conclusion, you. You drawn the conclusion that, hey, this is no longer for me. This is not the best option for me. Maybe I'm going in a different direction.

Wherever the case may be, once you resolve within yourself what is good, what is not good for you, then you have to prepare. Prepare to have a conversation. Step 2. Prepare to have a conversation. Have a conversation and expect this other person or party of people may not fully understand because they have to go through the process of accepting it too, right? You personally, you've thought about it, you've journaled about it, you draw your conclusion. So you've processed, you made peace with it.

But when you then go sit and talk to the other person or party, give them time to process it, they might not respond lovingly. They may not understand initially. So give that person space to receive what you're saying. But ultimately, it's about you communicating. And after you communicate, you have to determine your boundaries if you're going to continue to talk to them a little, a lot, or not at all if you need to part ways. Like, what if I need to give them things back or I need to retrieve things that belong to me?

Like, yeah, you got to be clear about all those things. But ultimately is about, you know, what you want and you communicating. So something simple as, hey, I've been thinking about this for a while, and I have to do what is, what is best. And at this time, this relationship is no longer working for me. It's really dry. It's really clear. It's really dry. It's really clear. But it's direct. And sometimes you have to be direct when you're ending a relationship just so there won't be any, like, cloudiness or milkiness.

You have to be direct when you're ending a relationship. This is no longer working for me. I. I asked to, you know, I'm. I'm releasing myself from this relationship or from this job. You have to do it. Avoiding it. Avoiding. Having hard conversation causes you to feel anxious and like Jewel said, walk on eggshells. So the way we do it is that we have to do it. That's it. The way we handle and we have hard conversations is that we do it. We have hard conversations. So identify what you want, your.

Your red flags, your signs. Have a conversation with the person or people with grace, knowing that they will need time to process this as well. So if they say harsh things, that's your cue. Walk away. Do not internalize it because you know they need a moment. But after that, you have to be clear with your boundaries. If you're saying, this relationship no longer works for me, this is what I'm going to do. You have to be clear. You got to follow through. Okay, so how do you do it? You do it. And you know what?

You support yourself afterwards and you surround yourself with love, and you go talk to a friend or a trusted person that can sit with you in those emotions. Because let me tell you, even though it's good for you, it still may be a little hard to do. And that's okay. That's not a sign that you don't do it. It's a sign that you just got to walk through strong emotions. So if you are in a place where you need to make a hard decision or have a difficult conversation or to end a relationship, process it with yourself, Talk about it with someone else.

Getting wise counsel is a good thing, right? So sometimes when you have to make a decision, know within yourself. And if you need someone to bounce this off of just to say, hey, like, am I thinking clearly? And you need validation, go to a counselor, go to a life coach. But ultimately this decision is yours. And so once you make that decision, have the conversation, give space for emotions and just know that you may have strong emotions. And that's okay too. Because sometimes it can be a good thing that you have to let go.

Okay, the Bible talks about. Because we're going to mix faith with truth, right? In that God has a good, a perfect and a pleasing will. So even though it's good, even though it's pleasing, is it perfect? Does it completely align with what God is saying and directing you in your life? Sometimes we gotta let go the things that are good, that are pleasing so you can have your perfect. I hope that makes sense. I hope that makes sense. So before I go, let me find you that scripture. It's in Romans. I want to give it to you so you know it.

It's Romans 12 and 2. Okay, Romans 12 and 2. It says, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is. His good, pleasing and perfect oil. I hope this helps. So I want you. This is the thing. Think about how do I handle it? How do I do it? You do it. I've given you the three points. You got this. You are surrounded with support. So if you need support, come to Cadre, listen to other contributors, make a post.

I promise you, you will receive love. If you have a question, make a post. Will receive guidance and support here. You're not alone when you have to make hard decisions. So as I wrap up, we're going to play Michael Jackson on our way out. I hope this been has been helpful for you. And take your time, Sit with yourself, process your emotion. But you deserve good. You deserve blessings, you deserve good things, you deserve prosperity, you deserve to be happy. You deserve to have a continuous abundance of joy.

I didn't say life gonna be easy. But you deserve good things. And so something doesn't align with you, sit with yourself and come up with your plan. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions so you can protect your peace and your joy. And you can make hard decisions and you can handle hard conversations. All right, I will see you guys next week. Be blessed. See Jules. See you next Wednesday. See you guys. Take care. Don't have a baby.