Rules of Engagement

Hello, Cadre. Good morning. Good morning. It has been a couple weeks. Look at all that glare on my glasses. Sorry, I'll take them off. It has been a couple weeks since I have done a live stream and it feels like a million years have passed. And I'm going to talk a little bit about why in a minute, but a lot has happened since the last time I did a live stream. I went to Los Angeles. I'm on the board of an organization called the center for Good Food Purchasing, and we had our board retreat, and that was great.

We were in Little Tokyo. For anybody who spent much time in Los Angeles, and that was super exciting. For any of you office supplies or like, notebook pen nerds, there was a Kinakuniya there. And if you're not familiar with Kinakunia, I suggest you make yourself familiar. If you love any Japanese book situation whatsoever, Manga included, or if you like Japanese office supplies, which I do. Pentel has way better options for some of their pen lines that come out of Japan than come out here. So anyway.

Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. So glad to see you. MMC22. So glad to have you here. Thank you. So the other thing that happened is my husband and I are going to be moving. Not far. C. area, the DMV. It took me a while to get used to that. It took me a while to get used to the dmv, and it took me a while. We moved here in 2019, and I moved here in the fall, in October, which is an important point when I say, when I got here, I was like, why does everyone in this city love Walgreens so much?

I love a good drugstore. But why on earth. Hey, Jules, why on earth do they love Walgreens so much? But it wasn't Walgreens. It was the Washington Nationals who went on to win the. The. Oh, my God. I almost called. What do you call it when the baseball. The World Series. They went on to win the World Series that fall. I almost called it the super bowl, which I knew was wrong. Apologies to any baseball fans. So everybody was wearing the Washington Nationals W, which to me is essentially indistinguishable from the Walgreens W.

So it was very startling when I moved here how much everybody loved Walgreens. So for a variety of reasons, though, we have loved living here these last five years. And because we had a sublet for six months, and then we've been Living in this place, which is beautiful and spacious and well located near downtown, etc. Etc. But for a variety of reasons, we want to downsize. And so we started looking and we've loved it here, but we started looking and I really tried to stay in the District, but for our money we could really get more spacious accommodations in Silver Spring, Maryland.

So we will be moving to Silver Spring, Maryland. And that's a lot of change. We probably should have moved a year ago. Someone in my two person household would probably say, we should have moved a year ago. But I really needed a longer Runway than that. So that's why I want to talk about change. I wanted to try a few things to see if we could make it make sense to stay here and we just really couldn't. So I don't do great with change. Not sure who does. My husband Gary often says the only person who likes change who likes change is a baby with a wet diaper.

And I always add to that. And they will still fight you changing the diaper. They're still not happy while you're changing that diaper. Right. So it's a lot of change. There's a lot going on, as you might imagine. But we found a great place. It's beautiful. And I have a rule of engagement. What number is it? Rule of engagement number 29 that came on board this year is yes. And with whatever life gives you and somebody else. Ghetto. The root, Rachel. Get to the root, Rachel. Hello. Get to the root, Rachel.

So nice to meet you. I'm so glad you're here. Rule of engagement number 29. Yes. And with what life gives you. Now, for me, I am in recovery and I am a person of faith. And so for me, I put it yes. And with what my higher power gives me just to get that extra jolt of remembering that somebody else keeps me sober instead of me. But yes. And with what. What life gives you. And if you're not familiar with the concept of yes. And people who do improv when they are doing scenes with each other, if somebody throws an idea out there, their improv partner is supposed to take that and say, yes, yes, I'm going to take your concept and I'm going to add to it in some way.

I'm going to embellish it in some way, I'm going to take it in my own direction, et cetera. I love the concept of yes. And because I tend to be a pretty negative person, there are plenty of times I just say no. And that is a good skill to have too. Right? A profound truth is a truth whose opposite is also true. Right? Yes. And with what my higher power gives me and know how to say no to things that are unacceptable. Right? So. But I want to stick with the yes. And because the universe was very clearly giving me the hey, it's time to move.

It is actually time to move. I've given you a lot of leash and a lot of Runway, and life was like it is, but you gotta move. And I kept saying, okay, well, maybe I don't have to move. What if I did this? And then every other option was just blockaded until I gave in. Until I just gave in, you know? And so now I have pivoted, and knowing I was moving, probably knowing we were likely to move for the last couple months, I have done a lot of things to just enjoy where I am right now, to really appreciate what I love about our neighborhood and all the places I can walk to and all the people I can see in our house.

I have taken videos and photos of my house as it is right now, including all the mess. Because if there's one thing I've learned in life, I've learned many. But one of the many things I've learned in life is that when I look back to photos or what have you, for example, from my childhood, this really came home because my brother is. Thank you for all those hearts. My brother is scanning into digital form all the slides that my father took from when I was a kid. He was a photographer for many, you know, amateur, just, you know, as a dad, he was a doctor, and he also took photos.

But the photos that my brother sends along that have the interior of the house I grew up in is just so interesting and fascinating to me because it's immediately evocative. I can immediately remember the house. You know, my parents redid the house when I was about 13, 14 years old. So the linoleum, the 70s linoleum, that was there when we moved in. I haven't seen it in 40 years, you know, and it was just. I was immediately put into a time and a place. Now, I will say that's not always great. Not everything that happened in and around that house for me, was fantastic, but it was still good to be there and remember that it was a real place in a real time and that all kinds of things happened there, not just the bad things that have stuck with me.

It was easier to remember the good things that happened there. So I've taken photos, and I'm taking photos along my walk. I want to remember what that's like I'm taking videos of rooms, just doing a scan of the room. So in 10 years when I remember living here, I can have something really visceral to look at. So I'm Yes. Anding. I'm like, great, okay, we went to the new neighborhood we're going to be in. We're in downtown Silver Spring. And we walked around, right? We walked around. I know some of the great things that are going to be there.

I'm already excited about some of the things in the neighborhood that I will have really good access to. That's me doing my best to. Yes. And. And, you know, here's what's going to be great about the new apartment, and here's what's going to be great about having neighbors, you know, new neighbors, et cetera, et cetera. What's going to be great about it. All right. Yes, I'm moving. And here's what's going to be great about it. Here's how can make it as great and as special as possible. Here's how we can, et cetera, et cetera.

And that goes along with. And I'm looking at my list, number 40 on my guideposts. That's what I'm calling the things that aren't exactly rules of engagement, but things I've learned along the way. And number 40 came to me in a meditation a few weeks ago, really, about this process of moving under lots of circumstances. It's my choice. Is it a chore or an adventure? Is it a chore to figure out the furniture, our furniture here and where that fits into the new apartment, or is that an adventure? Is that sort of a fun thing to think about?

C. also goes to Silver Spring? And if not, does she have someone to recommend? Is that a chore or an adventure? Some of it's chore, some of it's bittersweet. I really like our vet here. If you live in dc, Hamilton Veterinary Services is great, although I don't think she's taking new clients at the moment. Is it a chore or is it an adventure to move into a new place? Is it a chore or is it an adventure to think about staging? You know, what do I know I'm going to want access to right away in the apartment, even if every other box is packed, and how do I make sure I have those things with me when we move in?

All of that. So those are the two things I offer as things that can ease the sting of change. One is yes and with whatever life gives you. And two is is it a chore or an adventure? And in large measure I have control and chore or adventure is a mindset shift for me, some things are just straight up chores. But how can I make them an adventure? Podcasts help, audiobooks help with some of the chores, remembering how they help me grow, keeping an eye out for opportunities to be of service to other people.

All that sort of stuff can turn a chore into an adventure. But sometimes it's just a mindset. I still go on adventure walks around my neighborhood and I've lived here for five years. It's one of the ways I know I didn't take for granted the great things about where I live is the amount of time I spent not saying what am I grateful for? That doesn't work for me as much. But how can I make being here an adventure? What's adventurous about my own neighborhood? And when you walk through your own neighborhood with an eye for adventure, all of a sudden for me I can hear things in the tre.

I can notice a detail on someone's house. Other people might call that mindfulness. I call it adventure, which seems way more fun to me than that. So change can be painful. It can be difficult. Do I want to dread it or do I want to leap into it? And my default is to dread things. That is a big part of my anxiety, is dread. I am not saying that I have this down. What I'm saying is I am always on the lookout for ways to turn that frown upside down. Betsy and yes, and to whatever life gives me and is it a chore or an adventure?

Have been really, really helpful. So I offer those to you and I'll post about them in the app later this afternoon. And if you have thoughts that were sparked by this, I would love to hear them reply to that post. Let me know. I you know I have other changes going on with my work. I am doing a lot of seeking of advice and assistance and thinking about my current work. I've talked about that here before. That's ongoing. I had my kitchen Cabinet meeting yesterday. If you're curious about kitchen Cabinet meetings, let me know.

And more meetings to come with that. That's a lot of change too and great. I'm doing my best to just go with the flow. You can't push a river. That is one of my top rules of engagement in life. You cannot push the river. And so I am trying to just float gently downstream with the current and sort of direct. I'm not trying to change the flow of the river and I'm not trying to swim upstream anymore. I was for a little while, but I am direct sort of making sure I avoid debris and such in the river and maybe stepping out of the river for a little while to sit on the bank and rest.

But I'm trying to go with that flow. So Cadre, it has been a heck of a period of time for me these last two weeks and I have more to come, a lot going on. I'm looking forward to sharing that with you and hearing about your lives as well, but always with the lens on what have I learned about life and how can I apply it to the current situation that I'm in. That's why I wanted to talk about yes, and with what life gives me. And is it a chore or is it an adventure? And it can be a mindset. Is it going to be a chore to pack up or is it going to be an adventure to think about?

How can I do this? You know, we're going to have people do that, most of the packing and the moving, but there's a lot of stuff I want to pack myself so that I know it's taken care of and it will reduce my anxiety. Is that a chore or is that an adventure to think about and value the belongings that I have that I've edited already when I moved here and I do a lot of editing of my belongings. But how can I make that an adventure instead of a chore? That'll be my I'll tell you my progress. Hopefully I'll remember to tell you my progress on all that.

So I'm really glad that you were here, really glad to engage with you. Have a great week. Cadre, I hope that this has been helpful.