Struggle to motivate yourself or others? Human beings have 3 basic psychological needs — all of which enhance motivation.
The three basic psychological needs for our minds and our motivation. These needs are part of one of the most commonly referenced frameworks in the research behind human motivation, human behavior, sports psychology. I'll show you how you can use it to motivate yourself and others.
People feel motivated when they have a sense of control over their actions. A lack of autonomy can lead to resistance, burnout, and feeling forced rather than inspired. Provide positive feedback to people and give them an optimal challenge.
The last of these three needs that we need psychologically to thrive is relatedness. People are naturally driven to connect and feel valued in a group. When all three of these needs are met, motivation shifts to a more intrinsic style.
What are the basic needs for survival? We all know these. They're food, water, air. Of course, you need sleep, shelter. What's lesser known as the three basic psychological needs for our minds and our motivation. And these needs are part of one of the most commonly referenced frameworks in the research behind human motivation, human behavior, sports psychology, and more fields like that. It's called self determination theory, SDT for short, if you want to get technical, and super sciency. And it was created in the mid-1980s.
But understanding them is one of the most critical pieces of theory that I utilize in my work as a mental performance coach. And I'm going to show you how you can use it to motivate yourself and others, whether they're your children or the people that you work with. So let's talk about those three needs. Number one is called autonomy. Think of this as simply put, as I choose. People feel motivated when they have a sense of control over their actions. And a lack of autonomy can lead to resistance, burnout, and feeling forced rather than inspired.
So to put this in application, rather than just telling people what to do, give them choices when you can. I'm not a parent, but I've worked with a lot of parents in the past, and a common thing I hear all the time is, oh, I can never eat my kid to eat vegetables. Well, if you want them to do that, give them a choice between two options. Do you want broccoli or a salad tonight? That's a simple example. But applying that framework of giving people choice is very powerful. And for you, it's also powerful to recognize the phrase and the principle of control.
What you can control. Oftentimes you can't control the situations you're put in, the people around you. But you can control a few things, like your effort, your attitude, and your preparation. And when you shift that focus into things you can control, you get that autonomy. And with that element, your motivation skyrockets. The second basic psychological need is competence. Think of this as I can. People are motivated to do a task when they feel like they can successfully accomplish it. If people feel incapable, they're likely to lose confidence and disengage.
So how do you do this for others? Number one, provide positive feedback to them. There's a lot I can do in this, and if you're interested in it, I can maybe make a video about it, too. But the best resource I've ever seen about giving effective feedback, which I get to do every day as a leader in my role, is from Brene Brown, great researcher, great author, that I personally love. And you can find it on her website if you just Google Brene Brown Feedback Feedback Checklist. There's a lot of great pieces in there about how to give good feedback.
And another piece is to give people an optimal challenge. What I mean by that is that you want to give them a skill level and complexity level that matches to their skill level. So if the task is not challenging enough, they'll be bored. And if it's too complex or challenging, they might experience anxiety and low competence. This also relates to why micromanaging can undermine someone's motivation. So whether it's for others or for yourself, the biggest thing I can tell you with this one is progressively build the challenge level.
Start small with a challenge, succeed at it, and then gradually ramp up the difficulty level to build that confidence and your motivation. The last of these three needs that we need psychologically to thrive is relatedness. Think of this one as I belong. As human beings, we're driven and wired to be social creatures. So people are naturally driven to connect and feel valued in a group. If they don't, it can lead to isolation and a lack of commitment. To put this into practice, show people you care genuinely and authentically and that you can rely on each other if we apply it to a work setting, get to know your people not just as employees, but as human beings.
Celebrate each other's accomplishment, support each other, have a collective purpose or goals that you can all work together as a group and you're going to build that relatedness and connection. One mini example that I think of with this one is why some people struggle to work out by themselves. And so this aspect of relatedness could be the missing piece. Maybe try group fitness class or utilize a workout partner. It could be a spouse, a partner, or a friend. But no matter the setting, trying your best to build connection and that aspect of relatedness.
When all three of these needs are met, motivation shifts to a more intrinsic style which is based on personal satisfaction, enjoyment and purpose. All of these lead to better performance, enjoyment and long term engagement. So figure out where you or your teen is at with these three basic psychological needs and what can you do to make it better.
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