Coffee Chats w/ Dr. D

Hey Cadre, it's me, Dr. D. And I do have my coffee on the go. If you are just joining and this is your first time here, My name is Dr. Leslie Davis and I'm a licensed clinical professional counselor located in Illinois. But I serve Illinois, Missouri clients and I specialize as a relationship therapist. And today I'm going to talk to you about how we connect with ourselves and show up for ourselves. If you notice, I have a new background. Just for the day, I'm in one of my my newest adventures. I am a co owner of a T shirt shop.

It's called A L Teas and we create tees that speak. So we just opened about a month ago. So here it is, just a little scan there. But yeah, so I'm here just kind of hanging out for the day. But I just want to recap of something that happened this past weekend. So it is graduation season and I attended my cousin's graduation at SIUE in Edwardsville and she got her bachelor's degree. I believe in psychology. We have a theme going on in our family. We have some people that have studied psychology and I'm really proud of her.

And it was a really interesting experience being there because I remember my bachelor's graduation, my undergraduate, and I remember being half asleep. And the reason why is because my allergies were just acting up that day and I took a Benadryl and I probably shouldn't have, but I was half sleep. So I don't remember part of my graduation. But I do remember how proud I was of myself. And I remember how proud I saw other people with their families and how their families celebrated them. And I remember also feeling like I have such a small family, right?

It was just me and my mom. So it felt a little out of place as well because other people had siblings and bigger families to celebrate them. And so two years later I completed. About three years later I finished my master's degree and I did not go to that graduation. And I'll tell you why. One, I didn't want to spend the money on a cap and gown that I was never going to wear again. I was trying to be practical because I was single mom, you know, young son at the time. I think my son was two or three at the time.

And the other reason was I didn't want to be outside in the heat. So I just didn't go. But the other reason was I didn't understand how important that moment was. And so attending graduations recently, I am learning the importance of celebrating yourself. And I'M also learning the importance of celebrating moments that are really meaningful for black people. So black education. So shout out to my son, by the way, because my son is going to be graduating in two days. He just earned his associate's degree in human services.

So I'm super proud of him. And because that is a huge achievement for him. He's a heart warrior. And with my cup, Ali Hinkle, here we are. All the everyone in my family, everyone that knows my son, his name is Judah, is super proud of him and I am so excited to celebrate him. But I'm looking back at how I never celebrated myself and I just want to encourage you, if you have been in spaces like that where you didn't feel like there is a but we get limited in what other people we. We're expecting other people to celebrate us, right?

And when they don't, those are moments that we should have been showing up for ourselves, right? So if you don't celebrate yourself, who else is going to do it? Whose responsibility is that? It's no one else's responsibility to clap for you. It's your responsibility. And for people who struggle to, I'll say celebrate yourself in the sense that other people are judging your celebration, where they might say you're being conceited or self centered or you're selfish, I don't agree with that. I think it's important that we clap for ourselves and do it in the moment.

So if you guys are following me on social media, I am back. By the way, if you follow me on Instagram, I'm under therealdoctorleslie. But I like to celebrate myself just to have the memory. I like to post things that I'm doing. Not for other people to see and not to brag, but it's for me, for me to be able to reflect on the accomplishments. Because think about the journey. Think about how long did it take you to achieve that thing that you did? How many trials did you go through? Were there things that were we consider like roadblocks, what got in the way and what all did you overcome?

So when you slow down and celebrate yourself, you are able to think back on, oh my gosh, I did this regardless of what came to stop me. Even if you try to stop yourself, I don't know if you've ever been there. If you try to stop yourself from your accomplishments and you were able to push past those feelings of doubt or feelings of I don't want to do this anymore. You're just tired. Like you lack the motivation, you know but when you do it, you need to celebrate that. So that's all I got. Speak Wonder.

You are on a roll here today. You said it is important. Your youngest daughter went to cyber school. That's awesome. And opted out of her live in person ceremony. You felt cheated for that. And you know what? I believe that is something that parents can feel cheated out of as well. Because one thing that I know now that I know on the other side and watching my son go through school, parents are just as involved in the process of getting the degree. You know, parents are and friends too. We encourage the graduate.

We encourage the student in the moment. And when someone graduates, it's like, time for us to celebrate, too. Like, celebrate. Yes. We supported that person and they did it and we got them there to the finish line. So, yeah. So if you know any graduates, encourage them today. If you know anyone who is struggling in school that are maybe in their. They're going into the last year, just encourage them. Give up on themselves. Celebrate the little wins, celebrate each little moment. But when they get to the finish line, they need to do a big celebration.

All right. Okay, y' all. That's all I got. It was a random thought, but I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you guys have a wonderful day and go get you some coffee. All right, bye. It.