Coffee Chats w/ Dr. D

Hello Cadre, it's me, Dr. D. Welcome to my coffee chat. So as you are joining and if you're watching the replay, drop in there how you're showing up today. And today I am showing up with a lot on my mind. I have so many different projects going on, so I wouldn't say I feel overwhelmed, but I'm feeling very creative, I guess is a better word creative, but also exhausted because when I have so many great ideas that I'm working on at the same time, I can't sleep. So I'm a night owl and I think I just work better late at night.

Hi, speak wonder. So just drop in the chat for me. How you're showing up today, how you're feeling and you can't say fine. That's the other word. You can't say good, you can't say fine. But yeah, I'm showing up. Well, I'm a little excited too. So for those of you who also watch, Ms. Rachel Logan, I'm going to be meeting up with her today for our own little coffee talk. We like to meet up every now and then at least once a month. And it's been a while, I think we've been so busy we haven't been able to catch up with each other.

So we're making intentional time for each other today. But today I want to just kind of reflect on what's been happening in my area. So there's been a lot going on the past weekend, I would say. So I can't remember which day it was. It might have been Friday or Saturday, but there was a really bad storm and this is stormy season for the Midwest, which is not unusual. We know how to handle it. But this one, it hits the city more than it hit the rural areas. So for those of you that don't know, I am very close to St.

Louis, about a 20 minute drive from downtown St. Louis and there was a part of the city that was hit by tornado. I have some friends, some clients that live out in the area and there's so much footage being shown of like people's roofs literally are in the middle of the street. People's cars have been damaged, there's trees just blocking the streets. People's homes that have been there for decades are just completely destroyed, like flattened down to the ground. And these are brick homes. Okay. And I just can't imagine what that feels like for the people that live there in that community.

But other than that, there was an incident that's a little closer to me in another city that's maybe not even 10 minutes from where I live, where there were some police officers that went to check on a call and three of them were shot and fatally shot. There was one that is in the hospital, I believe. But this hit me because this affects someone that I know closely, that works with them, that is also patrolling. And so I'm bringing these tragic moments up to talk about community and how community shows up when we need to.

So I have been really impressed by the comments on Facebook. I've been impressed by how therapists are showing up to offer mental health support for the victims from the storm. And I know in different parts of the country that that happens often, where maybe there's flooding that has affected a whole community or the fires in California, earthquakes, you know, things, these natural disasters that happen. And sometimes the city doesn't show up the way they need to. And so those in government don't show up the way they need to for the people.

But what I'm always impressed by is how the people show up for the people. Yes. So think about community. And one thing that I am, I challenge myself, like, how can I show up in situations like this where this isn't my direct community? Because it's miles away from me. I don't have to go there for anything. It is a location that I might drive by, but it's not a community that I frequent. And so I'm also on the outside, but also I guess I'm affected in a way because I know people there. I have clients that live there, and I'm on the outside just trying to figure out what can I do and what can I do that's meaningful, that's meeting basic needs or just offering support or even supporting those who are supporting them.

And so I want to challenge you to think about your community when you have storms in your life. So forget these natural disasters that are happening. But when we have storms in our life, who is part of our community that shows up for us when we need them without even asking? And if you have a hard time identifying just one person that is in your community to show up for you, I want to challenge you to rethink that. Because right here, through Cadre, we are community. For those of you who join my coffee chat every week, I thank you.

You are part of my community. You know, I can't see your faces, but you're part of my community. And I'm so grateful to have you guys join me on these calls. But, yes, in the storms of life, who is showing up for you? And I can think of, I can list off a few people. And one thing that I know most people struggle with is to ask for help. But sometimes we don't have to say anything. We don't have to say we need help. Because community, the people who are connected to you that you have intimate relationship with, they know what you need without you saying anything.

They just know and they do what they need to do for you without you asking them to do it. And I think that's just a beautiful way that humans connect. You know, we, we connect even with non verbal communication. You know, we may post a picture and that communicates something about our lives. And sometimes that's miscommunicated. But when there's, when there's conflict or there's storms in our life, I think people can just see what we need. And sometimes people see what we need before we recognize it within ourselves.

Sometimes we are experiencing trauma and we may not recognize that that's what's happening. But people on the outside who know us well can look at our facial expressions or look at the way that our behavior has changed and pointed out to us and let us know like, hey, take a moment. Are you okay? Do you need anything? And without them even asking, if we're just continuing to walk through life and not show check ourselves, we're continuing to walk through the storm alone, right? So be grateful for community and consider how are you showing up for others?

So whose community are you a part of? You know, I feel like I'm a natural empathetic person and so I'm always wanting to help people. And so I, I believe that I'm a part of a lot of people's communities. And sometimes it's not because I insert myself, it's just I might see something and just text them, hey, are you okay? Do you need anything? I may not physically show up or physically be present for them, but they know emotionally I can hold them if that makes sense. And so I want you, if you can even name that person who is in your community.

I have my mother, I have my parents, I have my son is part of my community, my friends, my church people in my jiu jitsu community. And there are times, and this is something to consider is how people show up. The people in your community, how are they showing up for you? Because they may have little capacity to do what you need them to do, but they're still showing up. So for example, when my son was having heart surgeries when he was younger and he was in the hospital, my community showed up for me in the sense of maybe they couldn't come to the hospital with me, but they sent me gift cards for gas, or they sent me money for food, or they brought me food to the emergency room, or they prayed for me, or they showed up in a way that they ask other people to help.

And that's how Community works. Community is not always just one person. It's one person who trickles and is the catalyst to support someone else. So I just want to shout out Cadre. Overall, this community here is. It's a beautiful thing for mental wellness. I'm loving, you know, how I'm seeing the growth of the Cadre community and everything that Luke and his team are doing, their podcasts and just the expansion of all the new creators on here. It's beautiful. And so if you get a chance to see a new creator on Cadre, shout them out.

There's so many new ones, I haven't had a chance to really scroll through and listen to everyone. But if you have a favorite, put them in the chat, let me know who who it is so I can check them out. So I am getting ready to go meet Ms. Rachel for lunch, and so I'm gonna sign off, y' all, but thank you for showing up. Thank you for being a part of my community, and I hope y' all have a good day. By.