The Murph and Memorial Day, from a Veterans Daughter

Hey, you guys. Happy Memorial Day weekend. It's Shannon. For those of you who don't know me, I'm part of the Cadre team. And so I come on Cadre and talk about things from the perspective of a peer, someone who's lived through things. I always say I have anxiety, I have cptsd, and I parent a child with autism. So I'm here to share my lived experience with you all to help you feel less alone. So it's Memorial Day weekend and I'm on a walk with my dog. And as I prep for tomorrow, I have a workout tomorrow called the Murph.

And I don't know if you guys have ever heard of that. It is something. It's in honor of someone who was in the military and I'm gonna just butcher this story, but it's a workout that people do on Memorial Day in honor of veterans. And it is a 1 mile run, 100 pull ups, 200 sit ups, and 300 air squats followed by a 1 mile run. So the real people, the real professionals do it with a 20 pound, like rucksack on their back. I am not doing that, but I will attempt to do it tomorrow. And so my dad was a Vietnam vet.

He died four years ago on May 31st. And I was not close to my father. And part of that is because of the fact that he was a veteran and that he had ptsd. And the truth is, is I didn't know him well. He was in and out of my life. I don't know how to say it, I guess without getting deep, but I guess that's the overarching way to say it. Is he just. He. I didn't know him well. So yesterday as I was running some errands in the morning, I found in my glove box the. Not the obituary, the servit. The program from his.

From his service when he died. He died on May 31, 2021. And I have to be really honest with you, I didn't even remember the exact date. And that's sort of how it has been with my father. I remember things and I don't because I didn't really know him that well. But as I pulled out his service and started, I started reading it and it was his life. And in that program, I learned probably more about my father than I ever knew from him in real life. I learned when he married my mom. I learned that he actually went to college.

I didn't know that. I learned when he, you know, enlisted to Vietnam. But what I also learned is that he won a bunch of medals. I don't have them in front of me, but there were four or five or six different honors and medals that he received while he was in the Vietnam War. I didn't know that. I didn't know his story. And as I looked at it, I actually. I started crying and I started crying because I realized that my dad was probably a hero in some ways, right? He was. I mean, actually, I can't even say in some ways he was a hero.

I didn't know that about my father. All I knew about my father was that he wasn't there. I knew that he had ptsd. I knew that he didn't talk about it. I knew that he got better as he went. Later on in life, he got help from the va. But as I read that yesterday, I'm getting emotional about it now. He was a fo. He was a. He was a hero, right? He was a war veteran. He was a hero. And the truth is, I wish I would have known him. I wish I would have known him more. I wish I would have known that side of him.

I didn't get a chance to do that because of some of his mental health stuff. So I wanted to come on here today because as I prepare to do the MRF tomorrow, which is something I've done a couple of times now without making that connection to my father, this year is different. I think this year is different because I can have my own. My own mental health is in a better place. So I've forgiven him, and I. I love him more and I know him more than I did. It's better because I can think of him and honor him when I read the.

You know, the story of his life and all that he's done. Hi there. Hello. Hi. And I can. Walking my dog, and I'm in the neighborhood, and I can also. Different. Right. My relationship with him is different now, and I. And I'm glad for that. He's not here anymore. But tomorrow, as I do my Murph, however far I get in it, or if I finish it, or however long it takes me, I'm gonna think of my dad and I'm gonna think of him as a hero, because he is, and he was. And so I guess as we go into this Memorial Day, I want to thank all the veterans out there who are watching this.

I want to honor the work you do, and I also want to honor the hard things you come back with. And, you know, from a little girl whose dad wasn't able to be there because of all of that. I just want to also say that, like, there's grace. Right. And I love him. I'm proud of him, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to see that program yesterday. And I'm glad that tomorrow, as I do my Murph, which is just a teeny, tiny bit of what you all do as veterans, I'll be able to. To honor him and think of him.

And I'm gonna draw some strength when I'm tired from him. So that's it. Just wanted to share that. You guys, I hope you have a beautiful Memorial Day. Thanks for being part of Cadre. We appreciate you. I deeply appreciate you. And honor the vets in your life and ask them about their stories and know them and. Because it's incredible. All right, guys, have a great day. Bye.