Cadre Today: Coaching The Space Between

You must know someone like him. He was tall, strong and mean, with a body like a gray height, just like a little green twisted around itself. Good morning, T. Brown. Sherry. How are you, my friend? Rick? Good morning, my friend. I'll hit the pause button right there. Good morning, y' all. Happy Wednesday. How are we doing? I hope you're doing great, but if you're not doing great, I always want to remind you that that's okay, too. I'm not okay. Like, that's okay, but that's okay. Like, hey, you still have capacity.

You still have capability. And the most vibrant humans aren't the ones who have the most or are the strongest, hardest, deepest, furthest, the ones who push the most. But they're the ones who go, hey, here's what I got and here's how I can put it to use. I'm glad I'm here. I'm glad you're here. I know what I know and I care about you. So those 17 words kick off Cadre today. Every single darn day, 365 days a year. And it's the formula, right? It's the science that makes the Cadre sphere come to life.

Gratitude that we are all here with the courage and the curiosity to think that our perspective, our life lived, our professionalism and our peerness has. Oh, I feel like I'm Mr. Rogers right now. I'm taking off my shoes. Do, do, do, do, do. Squirrel. And lastly, that we care about one another. Grateful that we're here. The courage to think that what we have can be valuable to one another and that we risk to care about each other. That's the formula. You know, on Wednesdays, a lot of the people who jump into the live stream are clinicians and practitioners in the mental health and the wellness space.

I'm not that, but I'm a peer to that. Um, I'm someone who, who walks alongside a lot of people who work in the space of. Of. Of that. Of. Of that world. And obviously Cadre is. Is centered. That's our core. Um, and throughout this month of June, we're talking a lot on this idea of balance. The balance that I want to encourage you to think about today is the space in between leading and coaching and guiding and being led, being coached, being guided. I've been working on a new piece called Natural Born Follower.

That's what I am. I follow by nature. I'm an observer by nature. I respond by nature. My graduate work was in followership. If you're like that sounds like another made up Word, jc. Actually, it's not. If you go to Barnes and Noble, you can find about four really good books on followership. They're normally squeezed in between the armpits of the billions of books on leadership because the world is madly in love with this idea of everybody being the leader and being the trailblazer and being the new thought person.

Here's the deal. If everybody's leading, if you think about that for more than one second, who in the heck are they leading? If everybody's getting good at leading, yet nobody is exercising the muscle of following, yeah, it's part of the reason the world is pretty resistant to change, pretty resistant to a lot of stuff. Followership is not the absence of leadership. Followership is an activity all in itself. So I'm getting ready. 30am in London town where the facilitator was seated. I was on a call with people from all around the world, from South Africa to APAC to all over Europe to one individual who was traveling through Texas.

So I wasn't the only central time zone person. But this was a phone call for a new training that I'm jumping into this summer. I'm always in the seat of students or I try to be. Good morning, Andrea, nice to see you. But this training is on the idea of systemic team coaching. In other words, rather than coaching individuals or coaching leaders, this whole training is about coaching the spaces, the interconnections between people, in other words, teams. The facilitator, Professor Peter Hawkins, who's been in the kind of the, the coach and development space for 55 years, he raised the point on the call this morning on how coaching is normally a privileged opportunity for the already hyper privileged individuals on this planet.

Who gets to be coached? Most often it's the high performer, it's the high level leader. And he also raised the point, how often does coaching lead to forever systemic change in organizations? Very rarely, Science shows between 5% on the low end and 30% on the high end, which means at least 70% of the time the work we do in a space of facilitation or coaching doesn't stick. And the reason why is if we think that we can go ahead and strengthen. Let's use an ocean analogy. Let's say we're a fish. If we can strengthen our fishiness without acknowledging that we're swimming in an ocean that is forever impacting us and we are forever impacting it.

Yeah, it makes a lot of sense that coaching the individual, without coaching the interconnectedness of the individual to the other individuals would maybe not lead to sustainable change and growth. But here's the deal. I was the American sitting on a call with 22 individuals who aren't the American. I am born and raised in Brooklyn Center, Minnesota, first ring suburb of Minneapolis. And Minneapolis once again is center of the universe in a lot of ways. With, with the assassination of. Of. Of Melissa Hortman this, this past weekend.

I am the perception of. Of the one who wants to run ahead of everybody else, who wants all of the things whose worth is in how much I can have, right? The American dream image. And yet I was grounded within what fills my cup. And that is being in groups of people that I don't know yet. That's what I like to call strangers. Being in the seat of not knowing yet that's what I love to call a student. And being in a space where innately what is going to be my life preserver and my daily bread is going to be the connection that I have with other people.

There's this woman on the call. Her name is Liz. She's in Dublin, Ireland. She spoke about her passion in music and she used the word co creation, which reminded me of my favorite TED talk, which is by Dr. Jane Bentley, a Scottish music therapist who did this TED talk called the art of following. It's beautiful. It's worth the 13 minutes to watch Dr. Jane Bentley the art of Following. Check it out. So I sent her a message on LinkedIn. I'm like, hey, I appreciate you. I don't know you yet, but I already feel connected.

Those are the things that make me feel like there's some hope in this world. So my invitation for you today is to consider the interconnectedness between you and the people that you know. The people you don't know, the people you work with, the people. You walk down past the sidewalk and maybe you go, huh? I don't have any connection with that person. Remember that. You're swimming in the same ocean. Our song today was by Siobhan Miller. It's called what you do with what you got. Here's the chorus.

It's not just what you're born with, it's what you choose to bear. It's not how big your share is, but how much you can share. And it's not the fights you dreamed of, but those you really fought. It's not what you've been given, it's what you do with what you got. Y' all, I'll leave you with that as it plays One more time. Have a good one. We'll see you tomorrow. But how much you can share? It's not the fights you dreamed of but those you've really fought it's not what you can give in it's what you do with what you got Peace, y' all.