Sober Not Somber Hour: Freedom To Not Drink

Hey, everyone. Happy Tuesday. It's also, as I learned from Betsy Hodges, fellow Cadre contributor, that today sort of today and tomorrow are halfway day. So July 1st, and she's actually Betsy's hosting a retreat on July 2nd. But it's a time to check in with your goals for the year if you set them on January 1st. January 2nd, today is halfway through 2025 and it's been flying by. I don't know about you, but absolutely just the year is moving so quickly. And I think it's just a reflection of all the things we have in our lives.

I tend to look at it as not being busy, but I say my calendar is filled with choices of things that I I make to do. Like, I have a freedom of choice on how I want to fill my calendar. So welcome in. Hi, Nikki. Hi, Amar. Oh, we had such a good peer coaching session last night. Welcome to sober not somber hour. I'm here. Jen Barale. I'm here Tuesdays at 4 and we are talking. All the contributors that choose to during the month of July are talking about the theme of freedom. And my whole shtick is n a non alcoholic products and getting those into our culture so people have the freedom to choose a non alcoholic option should they prefer.

So, yeah, as we kick off. Come on in. This lovely beverage that I'm highlighting today is made by a friend of mine. Her name is Whitney Nelson. She's local to Minneapolis. She's amazing. It's called ostrich sized and it says zero percent, no shade. So zero percent alcohol. And it's sort of. It's an n a beverage, but it's like beer. Right. It's almost like a blue moon and it has mango and peach and lemon. So I'm just gonna pour some of that goodness. It's beautiful color. As we get into. Oh, Nikki's drinking kombucha.

Lovely. That's one of my favorite. Go to Nas. My gosh, what is up with my hair today? Yeah. So cheers. Na, cheers. As I like to say. And I'm highlighting this one today because it was June was a month of pride festivities. And Whitney is of the queer community and created this not only because she felt she didn't belong as a recovering alcoholic and not being able to drink alcohol, but also had another layer of not belonging because of her sexual orientation and choice. So this has double meaning.

And she sent me a whole case of this because she was so grateful that we connected and that I'm doing the work to get these products into bars and restaurants and events. So as we get into today, the content around freedom, what I'm focusing on is the idea of freedom from the expectations. And in my work over the last 10 years, I have noticed that there's not a lot of freedom of choice when it comes to drinking or being in a social setting. It feels like alcohol is pushed upon us in society. And even though technically I was free to make any choice, drink water or not drink alcohol, I didn't truly feel like it was either a choice for me or it was.

Would be an acceptable choice. Right. The choice is more. Maybe if it was more available. Right. Nikki? Maybe it's deeper. Bring your own. Yeah, bring my own. NA everywhere. So what I was thinking about is, you know, freedom is a word that I like to think I'm free to make a choice, but I'm thinking about also what are the expectations around making that choice? Are we really free to make a choice? I would prompt everyone that's joining in or watching this on replay to think about maybe how elusive freedom might seem.

If there's anything in your life where you feel like you should free to do something, yet there's some expectation around making that choice. And I feel like that doesn't really feel free. The illusion of freedom. I talked about that with balance, too, last month. Like, the idea of balance, you're always sort of chasing it, truly being free. So I invite everyone to kind of think about if there is a choice that they're trying to make in their life that would allow them more freedom to be authentically you, and if that's an easy choice or if it's a more challenging choice.

Pausing for a moment, that's just so good. And when we run into barriers right from making a choice that we believe will move us more toward that feeling of freedom, and I would say, and this is a place where I can authentically share my story, is that even though any options were maybe presented to me as I moved along in a sobriety, there were just more NA options to choose from. I still don't feel entirely accepted or free to make those choices. There is an expectation in society and in our world that we will, you know, drink alcohol or be part of the group.

So I don't know, does anyone else run into that? Is anyone else feeling like there's a choice or some freedom to. To make that choice, but you're not quite able to feel like others will accept it? And I feel like that's like the heavy weight of making a choice that's different from, you know, what is expected of us. And I've dealt with that for so, so long. And my response to that has really been to live in the kind of appreciation for being able to make a choice and really accepting that. And Nikki says, I do not feel free to not drink, but yet, you know, you're free.

Yeah, it's a interesting duality. And I, you know, I think with it's, again, it could be a little bit of an illusion. So is there any place in your life where you might want to address what that looks like? I, I'll take that idea for y' all and translate it into something that's happening in my career. So there's this idea that I have freedom of choice. If entrepreneurship gets tough to shift to maybe a corporate role, I'm free to do that, right? I'm free to do that. And it's a, it's a choice to pursue what I want in terms of my passions and careers.

However, when I think about, I think about freedom like the, the weight of some of our choices that we're making. And for me, when I think about, yeah, I'm free to, you know, exit entrepreneurship, whatever, and move into a corporate space if I would like to. But the weight of that choice feels really heavy and the expectations are, since I've been an entrepreneur for 13 years, that I would continue to, you know, pursue the entrepreneurial path. So I think, you know, really diving into what freedom means in terms of choice and really celebrating that when you do find it.

And just last night on our peer coaching call, I came to the discovery that I am free to make a choice, to focus specifically on the entrepreneurship path and not focus on all the other potential choices that may seem freeing or easier in some way. So I'll leave you with that in terms of thinking about freedom and how the illusion of choice may or may not serve you. And if there's an expectation or weight that comes with any of the choices that should be free. Choice should help you feel like you belong.

Thank you all for tuning in. I am closing out, heading over to try some great night non alcoholic beverages at a local restaurant that I hope to get more non alcoholic options on their menu. I've been working toward that so others can like choose to, you know, make that choice. And then for the work that I do, it's not just having it on the menu. It is how serving and staff and the whole experience of being served n a that makes that allows me to feel free, free to make that choice. And oftentimes in the past, you know, you just don't have.

Have an accepted way to make a choice. Yeah. Mars says, I agree with Nikki. Nikki says, I don't always feel free. That is for sure. That is for sure. There are things we must, must do, expectations we must live up to, and finding, you know, true freedom and the weight lifted from some of the heaviness that we're experiencing is. Feels hard to achieve. But once we do find freedom, let's celebrate that. Any? Cheers. Y' all have a great Tuesday. See you next week.