Comparison To Contentment

Hello. Hello. Happy Friday. It is lunchtime for me. I know I'm starting to get hungry, but was super excited to hop on here and discuss some comparison versus contentment and how we sometimes can live in comparison. But, but the goal really as a human being, at least in my experience, is contentment. And so. Hey, Rick, thanks for joining. So just wanted to kind of paint a picture of comparison as it's everywhere, especially on social media where, you know, you're, you log in and you just see everybody's posting all the good things.

Hey, Nikki. And it's unfortunate because, like, comparison is wired into our brains. It just is. Right? Like back from like caveman days and. Yeah, good to see you too, Friday. Love doing Fridays. Hey, Shannon. So back in, you know, survival days, like comparison is a survival mechanism really of like, okay, who's going to be the leader, who is just going to help protect us? That like you're sizing people up, right? Or at least back then they're sizing people up so that their tribe could be effective.

And so great then and now our environment has completely changed. We, we aren't like, you know, in North America. We are not having people post outside of our village to make sure it doesn't get like, under attack. Although now that I think about it, I think like the government maybe does that anyway, that's a story for another time. But us, we're not having like one person like, you know, be out there. And so the survival of comparison has shifted into this like social media work where you're at work, you're comparing yourself against your, your co workers or the people that got the promotion that you wanted or at the gym.

The gym is a great place, like seeing people do really cool workouts and awesome outfits. And you know, it. It's everywhere. That being said, I do want to talk about two types of comparison. The first one is you're, you're feeling inadequate, which I think is what we often think of with comparison, where somebody is presenting a certain way of being or you just immediately interact with them and you're just like, wow, you, you know, there's something about them and you just a little, you feel a little less than, right?

You, you didn't get the job that you thought you would. You got rejected. So you feel a little less than you're not as you don't keep as clean of a house as your friends do. So you feel a little like you need to step up. And that one, you know, is tough because you just want to feel like you are keeping up, right? And it's always this, I'm behind that's. Or I'm not enough. Which comes with the less than comparison. On the flip side, as much as we don't like to talk about this, I feel like this never gets talked about because people just don't want to admit that it happens.

There's the comparison of feeling more than like, wow, I am like better off than you in a way. Like, yes, I don't, I wouldn't like blatantly ever come out and say that, but I would definitely. Like, you know, you're, it makes you think when you see like a homeless person, right? You're, you're thinking, like, now I express gratitude and I, you know, try to give them a bar so that they can eat something or whatever. But like, it still kind of sticks with you. Like, wow, things could be worse. Or this like, hierarchy of A great example is when you move up in a company and now you're not at the bottom of the totem pole, right?

Like, the dynamic shifts a little bit. And so, you know, how, how do we get out of that? Because it is something that we all can run into. And I know for me, I really noticed I was stuck in the less than. When I was trying to climb the corporate ladder myself, I was, I wasn't getting it. I wanted this role and I couldn't, you know, couldn't get there. And I started to really feel bad about myself and like, what was wrong with me? And looking at the people that got where I wanted to be or in roles, in leadership roles, it was just like, oh, man.

But then after some time, I realized that I envied something that I actually didn't want. They were in these roles that actually wouldn't fit me. It wouldn't have been fun for me. And I am excited that I was able to see that through their feedback, through talking with them and acknowledging that maybe this was a blessing that I didn't really want to, that I didn't get that role, right? Like, I do believe everything kind of happens as it's going to. So that was something that really shifted for me of like, wow, I compared myself for no reason, you know, and, and on the flip side, like, definitely, you know, the more self work you do, sometimes it ties on to like this like spiritual ego of like, oh, I'm doing all this.

I'm so self aware or whatever. Like, especially in the yoga community, I've run into that a lot and I've certainly had to catch myself of like, whoa, whoa, beginner mindset here. Like, everybody is learning, and we're all at our own pace and our own journey. And with both of those things, no matter which spectrum you fall on today, tomorrow, or last week, it's really about being grounded in noticing our comparison. I'll use Rick's. The first step that Rick mentioned on. I think it was Wednesday, about resilience is like, calling it out, noticing it, like, where are you at?

And I think as somebody who practices meditation a lot, it's very important for me, like, that is the first step to pretty much everything. Notice you're comparing. Notice your. Your. Your inner monologue is. Is not really being kind, right? Like, it's easy. You walk down the street and someone's wearing just something crazy. Maybe it's a funny shirt and, like, you're. You're noticing that, right? Or maybe it's something you're like, oh, my gosh, I would never wear that. Those are. That's comparison, too.

And sometimes I feel like we don't like to talk about it, but it is something that we can train. Train our brains and kind of rewire ourselves a little bit. Dogs are playing. My bad. To really dive into this. Like, how can this motivate me? Like, I know that I'm seeing this. What does this. Like, what mindset is coming up here that might not be the most beneficial or what story is. Is maybe not the most beneficial behind this? There's so much you can learn about yourself by noticing, right? Like noticing what the trigger was.

Noticing that you're having a conversation in your head after you just had a conversation and you're replaying it, which is very powerful because you're. You're not here, right? You're. Oh, Gracie's making a. Hey, girl. She wants to say hi. That's my black lab, Gracie Lou Freebush. But, yeah, it's. It's. You know, comparison really can be a way to free yourself in. I know that I'm comparing, and I don't. I don't want to choose this anymore. So I'm going to choose again. So we'll. We'll. We'll notice it, and then we'll name it.

We will, like, get ourselves in this place of having some of these tendencies, teach us more about ourselves, and thus freeing ourselves from these comparisons. Because the more you notice it, the calmer and quieter. Wow, she's really going crazy right now. I'm sorry. The more you notice it, the calmer and quieter those. Those comparisons, they come and they go. And so I know that as a Powerful tool naming what's causing me. And like Rick says, like, how can this motivate me? Right? And that's really what I posted a little bit earlier today was how comparison can be a grounded ambition.

And I know in my past, when I felt inadequate, I certainly used that as motivation. I was like, dang, man, maybe I could have done this or whatever. Which probably isn't the best way to go about it. However, it did help me grow and it helped me understand that, like, my success is going to look different, my timeline is going to be different because I didn't get the promotion, I didn't get invited. I didn't get what I thought I would get because I tried xyz. And so seeing everybody's form of comparison, like, it's, it's easy to witness it in others.

Like whenever I'm walking with my mom, I can just like, she'll always give me a look of like, whoa, that outfit. Or something crazy. And it's like, no judgment. Come on, we, we watch, we don't judge. And by watching, I mean we watch this. Like, it's important to kind of see how judgment and comparison hold hands sometimes. And you know, together it's, it's bringing us not into a great place. If we continue to follow it, if we notice it and we let it go or rewire, name the story. Where is this coming from?

How can this motivate me, you know, kind of flip the script in that way, then it's actually helpful. So yes, comparison is, is the thief of joy. That's the classic saying. And it's so true. I'll argue that comparison also is your gateway to growth if you use it the right way. And so I hope that by noticing it, naming it, and then nurturing yourself with this, I like almost like a, my goodness, a mantra. A. Yeah. Mantra of I am nurturing myself, I am noticing this about myself and I'm going to choose to like flip the script.

I'm not behind. I'm right on my timeline. I am able to navigate through these waters at my pace. And so really tuning into those, those things will bring you to this contentment, this, this place of contentment inside, right? And to me, that's really the goal of my life's work really is, is contentment. Because after you eat a full course, you know, let's say it's like a beautiful Michelin, like five course meal and you get a dessert after and you're just like chef's kiss. You don't want more food, you don't want anything more.

And so really trying to practice our judgment and comparisons and then bringing it to this, like, nurturing thought and mantra to learn about ourselves is a step towards contentment. And it takes so much practice and so many times because, oh my gosh, the world is so, so triggering. And not to mention social media. I mean, it's all just a highlight reel, right? Like I think I mentioned in my. In the blog that's on Cadre for comparison. It's. It's like social media. Your traditional social media platforms are just highlight reels.

Everybody's doing that, traveling to beautiful places, got the great house and kids and all of whatever it might be or their careers flourishing. That's not always the reality. There's always the behind the scenes. And so that's one reason why I love Cadre. I love that everybody's real. And I do think that there is a movement now High Speak Wonder. There is more of a movement now towards this, like, raw. Real life can be hard sometimes. And I can express it. And so wondering if any of you have felt that of this shift of being okay to express some raw, raw, authentic material, right?

Not even just on Cadre, but maybe even on your Facebook or Twitter or whatever you. Not Twitter X or Instagram. There's so much value in sharing your authenticity and being free from the expectation of judgment or people comparing themselves to you. Because that, just like we talked about at the beginning, you know, sometimes you compare and you feel less than, sometimes you feel more than. And you, you can bet that other people are in that same boat. They're going through the exact same thing, right?

It. Speak. Wonder says it's really. It is okay to express our big emotions. Yes. Cleansing. Couldn't agree more. It's important, right? Like, get detox for the psyche. Yeah, I was just going to say, like, better out than in. And just to kind of keep that energy moving to get it out so you're not staying kind of stuck in it. But, you know, really to kind of bring it all together. Three steps. I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm like Rick, Rick here. Just trying to keep it simple with three steps. Just noticing the, the, the judgment and comparison, it's part of how our brain is wired.

So you have to give, you know, we have to give ourselves slack sometimes. I'm like, gosh, Bri, that is a really harsh thought. You know, like, oh, like, I'm not sharing that with anybody. And so it's like, we have to give ourselves grace because again, this is wired into our brains over hundreds of years of humans. Right. And, and express ourselves in a, in a safe space. Valid point. Speak Wonder. Yeah, you can't just go out and like, you gotta be, I don't want to say selective, but you, you need to set, gauge the room and understand or the situation or in the Cadre spirit.

Love that, that you're okay to do that. You're. It's okay to express yourself. You know, you, you're not going to choose a group that isn't going to be understanding or open to it. Right? That's part of staying safe and knowing like our boundaries of like where we can express and where we maybe need to. To keep it in for, for a little bit until we get to a safer space. And so yeah, I would say part of the third step. So notice, notice it, name it, get motivated from it. But the third of saying your mantra of like nurturing yourself.

Like we. It's important to try and let ourselves be free from all of these things that are stuck inside of us. Rick and speak Wonder said like, you have to let it out. It's like cleansing. And I think using comparison as a tool to cleanse is one of the greatest things we can do by noticing it, naming it, and then nurturing it as we let it go and let it free. Because then you're going to have less and less of these comparisons and it takes time. But I can say from experience that it is A, so much a work in progress, B, having a platform like this, having Cadre, having people that are on your wavelength where you do feel safe to share your doubts, your downfalls, your pitfalls, things like that, it's, it's so important.

And so if there is anything that you have any insight on what contentment, how you've reached contentment, either from comparison or in any other ways. Like, and contentment is super broad, but overall, you know, you're just feeling really good inside. Right? Because comparison's an inside thing. Little psyche thing. And what really makes you feel super content with life, that being free of the inner chatter. I know that's what I like to go for as much as I can. Is it that grounded ambition that we talked about?

There's so many answers. My dog makes me content. The nature plants make me content. But it's really honing in on when we notice the mind comparing and judging and just bringing it back, back down to earth so that we can ground and use it to fuel grounded ambition rather than egoic pursuits. And so I'll leave you with that Wow. I went a really long time today. I rambled on. I'm sorry. Just get so excited about freeing ourselves and being content, especially heading in towards the weekend. So I hope everyone is headed in to logging off here in a few hours and gonna do something for themselves to nourish themselves.

And if you have any comments about comparison or contentment, I would love to hear them. Also, if you're interested in coaching, you're welcome to visit the page here and or my page, or Rick's page, or Speak Wonders page. Anyone that you resonate with and want to chat, feel free to reach out to us. We would we would love to hear from you. And as always, thank you Kajrasphere. We will. We'll see you again next Friday, so have a great day. Very grateful for you all and bless up.