Sober Not Somber Hour

It's time for the Sober, not somber hour. And yeah, today, Happy August. It's the first time I've been live streaming in the month of August. We had five Tuesdays in July where we were talking about freedom. I'm your host, Jen Varale and actually was chatting a little bit today with a few people who were really curious about my new last name, I guess as of last August. And it's pronounced Virale, which means all of the truth in Italian. And it's a completely made up last name that I selected for myself upon divorce a couple years ago.

So, yeah, it's coming up on a year since I have embraced that name and Sober not somber has actually been a hashtag and a theme of mine in my recovery journey. I just celebrated 11 years of sober sobriety, alcohol free living, last Monday and I talked about it last Tuesday. So what a milestone. What a milestone. Savoring the extraordinary, I would say. And so if you've tuned into Cadre this month, we are all about the theme of savoring. And I love that August is a time to slow down. It's sort of a pause before the craziness of events and back to school in September and everything heightens up.

So yeah, I'd love to chat with you today about how do we savor just the ordinary? And so in this hour, I always have a beverage of choice, a non alcoholic beverage. And for today I thought, what better than the most ordinary, but the most maybe nourishing beverage on the planet earth, which is water, Straight up water. If you've noticed the retail space that beverages take up these days, it's insane. From non alcoholic products to adaptogens to all sorts of varieties on the shelves, right? And water seems ordinary, seems basic, but oftentimes it is the most nourishing.

So just a reminder that that's always an option. And yeah, today feels a little heavy. So I'm always sharing from my heart and what I'm thinking about is the sort of ordinariness of sobriety, early sobriety. Hi, Shelly. One of the things, like 13 years ago when I first started trying to get sober was I assumed life would be very boring. I had quite the adventures and alcohol just amped my, you know, fun up. And I didn't want to live a boring life. And I kind of thought life without alcohol seemed a little boring, to be honest.

And there was something about. Hi Nikki. There's something about early sobriety that really forced a pause and this return to the ordinary. And I will tell you in the Beginning. It was so uncomfortable to sit with just the idea that I would be an ordinary person with an ordinary life. I mean, now looking back, it's absolutely insane to think, you know, putting the story of the night before together. Where were my keys? You know, what happened? Like, how was that fun or filled with adventure? Why was that?

You know, that took up so much of my time. And to think now back to relearning just the appreciation of savoring some of the ordinary things in life. And I always look up the definition. So for this month, with the idea of savor, the definition is of a kind to be expected in the normal order of events. Routine, usual note, it does not say boring. It does not say boring. So I always challenge you. You know what it, what is your definition of ordinary? Drop it in the chat if you, if something comes to mind.

I mean, like I said, mine was boring. But ordinary to me now can feel comforting. It's a return to like grounding or some sort of base level comfort within me. That routine feels good sometimes, especially when things in your life in different areas might feel out of control. There is something about just being ordinary. So I'm going to give you a couple examples and I'd like you to think of some examples of ordinary things that you truly are enjoying or might work to be enjoying. For example, an ordinary thing for me in the first year of sobriety was really learning to like read books again.

I was an avid reader as a child and like returning to that in early sobriety, I always say for the first year I didn't go to the bars or restaurants and try to white knuckle it by not drinking. I stayed home, I read, I returned to something that felt routine and ordinary in the beginning of sobriety. And it was very grounding. I would also say something very ordinary that we all as humans do at least a third of our day, if we're lucky, is sleep. Sleep can feel, you know, napping can feel unproductive.

It can feel boring or lazy. And I have reframed that and talked a lot about that. Like rediscovering sleep through my early sobriety journey was something maybe others took for granted that they would get a good night's sleep. I feel like I didn't for at least 10 plus years. I mean I was raising two kids, had a full, you know, 40 hours a week job. And yeah, the, the ordinary was just not even a thing. Like I just moved at so such a fast pace. I really didn't slow down. So savoring to Me as a word also implies a slowdown.

And I thought about some of the senses in early sobriety as well. And if you know you are looking to rid alcohol out of your life or drink less, it really is about, like, savoring some of these moments. Coffee was a savoring grace for me in early sobriety. I really leaned into creating new rituals around that so that, you know, routine of always wanting to have an alcoholic beverage, I needed to learn to embrace in a different way. So if there are things that you're thinking about that seem ordinary but you're looking to embrace this August, let me know.

Put them in the chat. And I also thought of one other savory kind of ordinary thing is recently. So I've had this plant for like, let's say a year and a half, and it's an orchid. And prior to two weeks ago, it had not bloomed for a year. And I was watering it, taking care of it and just kind of like writing it off, sort of like, oh, it's, you know, basic green, looking kind of unlively, not doing much. And then about two some weeks ago, look what happened. Three little buds sprouted. First there were two and then a third one.

So this ordinary green plant, nearly on death's door, revised its, revived itself, and now there are three blooms. And it just kind of reminded me of like, the grounding of, you know, being in that intentionality and savoring time to slow down and then, you know, look at the result. I mean, I had to. I actually posted on LinkedIn and used a photo of it because it was just really inspirational to me, first of all, that I could keep a plant alive. I live in an apartment now. I have three plants and they've all survived for like two years.

That's extraordinary. So I love, I love the idea of pausing for, for everyone. During August, I personally am going on a road trip. I get to go with my daughter out to Evergreen, Colorado, and spend like six, six days just savoring, you know, the experience of being with her and some of the, you know, routine or ordinary things like driving, but in a new newfound way. So I would encourage you all this month of August to be thinking about ways that you can truly return to, like savoring something in your life that might seem ordinary and allowing it to kind of maybe bloom a little bit, just like my orchid did.

Finally have a wonderful Tuesday. And I will be back from Colorado like Monday evening. So I will be joining you next week to talk about the next topic. Until then, you know, water. Water is always a good n. A choice. You know, when in doubt. Na. Cheers and have a great evening, everyone.