5 Ways To Have A Better Relationship With Yourself

Hi, folks. How are you? Happy Wednesday. Welcome to my live stream. My name is Nick the poet and I'm a coach here at Cadre focusing on creativity, mental health, art and entrepreneurship. And I have a quote to open today. And it goes like this. We all think we need more self improvement, but what we really need is more self love. Does this resonate with you? What we really need is more self love. It's not self improvement. This is from Anthony Demelo. And I first heard this quote probably about a decade ago.

It's something that my therapist shared with me and it's always stuck with me. And I've thought about it at different times and I certainly, you know, consider myself a high performer. You know, I'm an athlete, I'm a businessman and constantly wanting to get better. But this resonates with me because it's saying that, that self love is what's going to move us. And interestingly enough, it can move us in our performance, too. Because if we're doing business from our heart, if we're doing art from our heart, if we are working with others from our heart, we might actually get better results.

And so we've heard so many times that the most important relationship that we have is the relationship that we have with ourselves. And it's like, but what does this really mean? How do we actually accomplish this? A lot of self help and motivation focuses on changing thoughts and behaviors. And this is awesome and so helpful. But I think if we can dig a little bit deeper and work on changing our emotions and changing some of these underlying causes and conditions, that is where we're going to see lasting change.

I've been reading this really awesome book by a man called Mastin Kipp and it's claim your power and it's had quite an impact on me recently. And so I wanted to share a little piece of that from you. And so he has identified these things called survival patterns and we've all got them, these things that we do that we think we need to survive but may be holding us back. And he says this, you get the point. Here's the truth. You're not going to die. When you take risks on behalf of your purpose, when you risk, you'll feel like you're dying.

But that is actually the feeling of something greater being born within and through you. There are predictable survival patterns. In fact, I've been able to create a list of the top eleven survival patterns I've seen after working with thousands of clients. Number one, putting yourself last. Number two, trying to control other people. Number three. Perfectionism. Number four. Plain small. Number five. Always assuming the worst. Number six. Doubting your higher wisdom. Number seven. Addiction. Number eight.

Procrastination. Number nine. Staying in toxic relationships. Number ten. Needing the approval of others. Number eleven. Confusion, saying I don't know all the time. Now, here's some real talk. If you bought this book, you almost surely have enough food, clothing, and shelter. You are resourceful and live in an abundant world. You will not die. Does this mean that you should just not care and throw caution to the wind? No. The previously listed concerns are valid concerns, but they should not stop you from taking courageous action guided by your purpose.

It's prudent to be prepared and to know the road ahead so that you can be successful. It is not prudent to fail to begin because you are afraid that following your purpose will lead to your ultimate and untimely death. The bottom line in fear is this. If you're not afraid, you should be afraid. Do something to make yourself experience fear. If you are afraid, too afraid to begin living your life, you don't need to be afraid. Fear is a sign that you are living your purpose. The more fear, the more you should celebrate, not cower.

And so when we're in this relationship with ourselves and we're really being fearless and taking courageous action, you know, things are going to come up, and we're going to change not just those thoughts and behaviors, but we're going to change, you know, the very fabric of our being from the inside out. And I think when we do that, our relationship with ourself improves because our self respect improves. It's like saying in the recovery rooms, you know, if you want self esteem, do esteemable acts.

And I think this can lead that way. And one of the things there was approval from others. And I know I am always seeking the approval of others. I'm a validation junkie, you know, and I think it's. It's. It's pretty common. But I've made some progress of that, of what Wayne Dyer calls letting go of the good opinion of others. And so I wanted to read another little excerpt from Darryl Fuzzaro. Break out of your box. So Darryl is on the catch it on Cadre podcast with James Ronan. So if you go to the app, definitely check out Darrell's interview.

He's an awesome, awesome author and artist, and he shared this poem in his book called the Guy in the Glass. And I want to call it the guy or gal or they or them in the glass. When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf and the world makes you king for a day. Then go to the mirror and look at yourself and see what that person has to say. For it isn't your father or mother or wife whose judgment upon you must pass. The feller whose verdict counts most in your life is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest, for he's with you clear up to the end, and you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test. If the guy in the class is your friend, you may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum and think you're a wonderful guy. But the man in the glass says you're only a bum if you can't look him straight in the eye. You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years and get pats on the back as you pass, but your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you've cheated the guy in the glass.

Dale Wimbrough. So that's really powerful. And when reading it, it's like, God, you know, how often am I doing things for the approval of others? And how often am I doing things that I approve of? You know, and I think the goal is, you know, like Demelo says, not to be hard on ourselves when we realize this, but to practice that compassion and say, and that awareness and say, this is how I have been living. But I can make changes in a different direction and realize that I really do believe the universe, whatever it is, this higher power outside of ourselves, even just call it love.

Something I think we can all agree on, is that love exists. And, you know, I believe this force in the universe wants what's good for me. It wants what's good for you. And we can all have that good in our life. Another book that I've been reading is ask, and it is given. And this book says this. Your emotions do not create, but they do indicate what you are currently attracting. If your emotions are helping you know that your choice of thoughts is not taking you in the direction that you desire to go, then do something about that.

Replenish your connection by choosing better feeling thoughts. Reach for that better thought. Take that action. That's going to lead to a better thought. No better guidance has ever been offered to our physical friends than the words follow your bliss. For in the steady reaching for Bliss, you must surely align with the energy of your source. And in that constant alignment, your well being is certain. m. So this says to me, like, hey, you know, just because we can't feel that bliss right now, we can take a step up the feeling ladder, you know, from feeling despair, we can step up that ladder a little bit to just feeling, okay.

You know, we can keep reaching for that better thought and start the momentum of this. And so, you know, five things that I think you can do to improve their relationship with yourself are really simple, and they're things that I do regularly. And, you know, it's not rewriting the, you know, anything that hasn't been said before, but it's something that we can practice and get those changes over time. And one is to read books. Books are such a fantastic wealth of information. You know, come to our platform, come to Cadre.

There's so much inspiration here, so much hope here. And so come here and learn. You know, whether you're reading books, listening to audio books, listening to speakers on the Cadre platform, whatever it is, expand your awareness, right. And take the subsequent actions that you've tried. And if you don't like something, then let it go and act on something that you do like. Number two, meditate. It's just scientifically proven. Meditation helps. It could be a moving meditation. It can be going out in nature.

It can be sitting for five minutes in the morning. Whatever it is, just give that a try. Number three, journaling. I think journaling can be super helpful. Right after you meditate, write out some of those thoughts that are coming on and see what type of actions you want to take. Number four is ask for help. And, you know, ask how other people, if you notice someone who seems to really have a good relationship with themselves, ask them how they did it, you know, and then take the similar actions.

And number five, my go to always just take a walk. Take a walk when you're really stressed and just let go a little bit and see what happens. So those are my five things that you can do to improve your relationship with yourself. What are some things that you do? Please let me know. Email me. Nhansonadre IO. I also want to put in a plug for our Cadre running club. Please go to Facebook and join the Cadre running club. Whether you're a walker just starting to run, just looking to exercise and have an inspiring community come and join us.

So, yeah, I can't wait to hear how this has impacted you. And I can't wait for you to become a part of the Cadre platform and the Cadre running club. Okay. Peace and positivity. Have a great day. Buh bye.