Coffee Chats w/ Dr. D-Go With The Flow

Hey, Cadre, it's me, Dr. D. And I got my coffee with my she Matters mug. I am going with the flow today. That is our topic. It's the last week of the month, and we are savoring the month of August. And y' all know I like to savor my moments with my coffee. So let me tell you what I'm sipping on today. This is a hazelnut latte with a sprinkle of cinnamon on top, and it's fresh. I just made it right before I got on here. So I am going to talk about going with the flow. So going with the flow. And I am going to share my struggles with Jiu Jitsu as well.

So for those of you who do not know much about me, I am a very tiny woman, four' eleven, but I am part of a very huge community called Jiu Jitsu. And I've been training for about eight and a half years, and it has been probably one of the most challenging things I've done in my life, because Jiu Jitsu is something that challenges your mind and your body, challenges every piece about you. And with Jiu Jitsu, I love martial arts. Let me say that first. I love it. I've always loved it. But I was never allowed to train martial arts as a kid because my mom said it was for boys.

And so when I became an adult, I was like, you know what? I'm gonna do this. So in Jiu Jitsu, and I'll kind of describe it for those of you who don't know what Jiu Jitsu is, But if you ever see a fight, usually people start standing when they're fighting. When they get down to the ground, they're incorporating Jiu Jitsu. So if you watch ufc, when you see them mounting on each other and punching, we don't punch each other, but we are controlling limbs, we are controlling arms. If you heard of the term arm bar or a leg lock, those are some things that we do in Jiu Jitsu.

And with Jiu Jitsu, it can be a challenge to go with the flow, but that is part of the purpose, is to go with the flow. So you think of Yin Yang, right? There's an exchange of energy, exchange of movement in Jiu Jitsu. And what I've learned, and I learned this the hard way for many years, when I don't go with the flow in Jiu Jitsu, I am met with force. And that force is usually somebody's knee or their hand or whatever it is to block my movement. And it feels really frustrating in those moments when I can't just go with the flow, when I'm trying to just keep moving forward and I'm being blocked by something.

And that applies in life, too. And so if you know who Bruce Lee is, love that guy. Bruce Lee talks about being like water. And I didn't really understand what that meant until I got into jiu jitsu, where I have to be like water. And this applies in life as well. When we come up against challenges or our fears or we come up against any opposition, whether it comes from outside of us or something within us, those are moments where I've learned that if I focus more on what's stopping me, then I tend to stop.

But if I focus on how to move around it or through it, then I can continue to go with the flow. So tell me if that resonates with you. So have you had moments in your life where you've been blocked? Whatever reason? Maybe you've been blocked by someone else who has more power or authority over you. Maybe you've been blocked by times when you were told no. And let me tell you about that word, no. We hear no, and sometimes we take that as rejection. We take that as opposition. But if we learn to go with the flow in the know.

Okay, I'm rhyming here today. If we learn to go with the flow in that, we can see that no is sometimes a redirection, and that requires us to go with the flow. When we are met with opposition in life, mentally, physically, if we're met in opposition in relationships, we have to learn to go with the flow. Nothing should stop us. Nothing should make us halt. Where we don't continue to move. If we stop, that means that there's no more life. Okay. We have to learn to go with the flow. In life, going with the flow sometimes requires us to, yes, be still for a moment and pay attention.

But being still is just for a moment. It's not a permanent place that we want to stay. We have to go with the flow. We have to keep moving. Think about how water moves. Sometimes it's really slow. Not a river, a creek. Like a creek. It's slow movement, but that water in the creek is moving around little pebbles. Maybe the opposition isn't that big. But then there's a river. Rocks are getting a little bigger. Maybe the water is moving faster to get around it or through them. Right. And in bigger places of water, it's faster.

There are waves coming. And sometimes when we get into that space where we're going too Fast when we're going with the flow a little too much, right? There's levels to this. When it's too much, sometimes we lose control. So we have to be mindful of how are we flowing. Are we flowing in the space of we're really not moving at all where we think we're moving. And I don't know if you've ever been in that space where you think you're doing something and you're not going anywhere. And I think sometimes that happens when you just kind of repeat the same cycle.

You just going like a hamster wheel, right? That's not really movement. It feels like it sometimes, but it's tricky. But if we learn to go with the flow, moving around obstacles, moving through the obstacles, but if we go too fast, we create chaos and we don't want that. So be mindful of how are you flowing? Don't just flow, but look at how are you doing it. And speak Wonder. I see mentioning the word no as an invitation. I would love for you to say more about that. It's an invitation to what exactly?

Tell me more. But yes, no can be an invitation, I think, to invitation to pause, an invitation to sit still, think, reflect. What else did you have in mind with that Speak Wonder? Thank you for sharing that. And for those of you who are joining, who I've never seen before or never seen your names, thank you for coming to my coffee chat today. I don't know what our topic is for the month, for September, but this month if I just reflect and I'm just going with the flow right now, because I tend to do that, I'm not gonna lie, I am one of those people that I don't like to plan my coffee chats.

I just like to show up and whatever I have on my heart for the day, that's what comes out of my mouth. I don't like to be rehearsed. I don't like to be scripted because that doesn't feel authentic. So thank you for those who sit here with me and kind of hear me ramble sometimes and hopefully something good hits you. But for the month of September, I'm curious what our word is. But looking back at savoring, savoring the moments where we have to be still, I'm also thinking about there. I'll share something with you.

I can't say too much though. So recently, just this past weekend, I had to travel out of the area and I had to practice for something that's important coming up, which I will share with y'. All later. And so I remember in the moment, I felt this moment of, oops, I messed up. Oops, I feel stuck. And I felt this, like, pain in my chest. Like, oh, that didn't feel good. But if I had stayed in that moment of pain and I just sat there, I would have completely stopped doing what I was doing, and that would have been horrible.

And so I had to learn in that moment to just breathe, just take a pause, and recognize it's okay that things aren't going the way I planned. It's okay that things didn't go the way I rehearsed, because I had to learn how to flow. I had to be in that moment of just going with what's happening and knowing that I could continue moving forward. And whatever happens next is what's supposed to happen. You know, sometimes we plan things, and they don't always go the way that we intend them to. But have you ever realized that sometimes when there's a change, when things are happening unexpected, sometimes it ends up being better than what we had planned for ourselves?

And I love moments like that. And that's why I'm really big on going with the flow, because you just never know where your fluidity is going to take you and where you were supposed to be all along. You know, our plans are not always the right thing or maybe it's not the right time. And so we have to learn how to pivot. So that's your challenge this week. It's Tuesday. It's the end of the month, so check in with yourself and look at how are you flowing. Are you flowing too fast? Are you flowing too slow where you're really not going anywhere?

Okay, are you okay with pivoting? Are you okay with things not going the way that you planned it? And are you also okay with fluidity in your relationships? Meaning, are you okay with people coming in and out of your life? Are you okay with letting people go that don't need to be there anymore? Are you okay with keeping the door open for new people to enter into your life? Because that is what keeps us flowing life from others sometimes. Okay. All right. That is all I have for y' all today. I have some more work to do, so I hope you guys have a wonderful day and get your coffee.

All right, Have a good day, y'. All. Bye.