Getting Over Your Fears And Facing Change

Hi, folks. How are you today? Happy Tuesday. I am Nick the poet, and this is my Cadre livestream. Thank you for joining and I hope you had an amazing World Mental Health day yesterday. Hope you had some time for some self care and, you know, thinking about your mental health a little bit and, you know, supporting those in your life who have no mental health struggles. You know, we're all in this together. I think we're really discovering that. And so, you know, it's my great pleasure to be a presenter here on Cadre, you know, where you can find this help, you know, right in the palm of your hand, you know, through these live streams, through coaching, through community.

We also had an awesome Cadre running club, virtual five k yesterday. If you want to join our Cadre running club, go to Facebook and just type in Cadre running club. And we're a group right there and you don't want to support you in your journey. So whether you're a walker, runner, or just someone who wants some encouragement, please come and join us today. My topic is fear. Wanted to talk about fears. How do we overcome them? How do we identify them? How do we get over them? I think part of the human condition is that there is, you know, fear involved.

It just seems to be a part of the game, you know, a part of the world that we were born into. And I know that I've, you know, had fears throughout my life, and at times they've controlled my life and at times, you know, they still do. I sometimes think of myself as like a deer, you know, on the edge of the field, kind of filled with that fear, whether to run across it or to go out or go back in, you know, all these things. And so I think that, you know, it's really universal. And for those of us with, you know, mental health and histories of addiction, I think it can be those fears can, you know, overtake us.

And that was part of the reason, maybe, that we use substances to, you know, numb those fears out. So anyways, you know, one of the definitions of fear that I really find to be impactful, and this is from, you know, the recovery movement, is false evidence appearing real. So looking at fear as false evidence appearing real. And so these things that feel very real in our minds, you know, because I think we're, you know, scientifically programmed to react to fear in a certain way because of, you know, maybe going way back when we had to run because we saw a tiger, you know, or that that fight or flight thing gets triggered and now there's no tiger chasing us.

But that's still a real feeling. If maybe you get a work email where you mess something up and your blood pressure raises and you start thinking, oh, my gosh, so that's that false evidence appearing real. And so I think something that I find extremely, you know, beneficial is to name the fears by writing them down. Write your fears down on paper because they get out of your mind. Then, you know, write them. Write them down. In the twelve step program, this would be the four step, where we write.

Part of that is writing, you know, all of our fears down. Get them down on paper, right. And then talk to somebody about them, right, because they lose so much of their hold on us. You know, it's like that saying that. I say, sometimes lack of expression can lead to depression. If we're not letting those fears out in some way, then they can over run us, you know, and so whether that's with a close friend who you trust or a therapist or, you know, if you're in the one of the twelve step programs, your sponsor, you know, community message boards, any way that you can get that out there, you know, because when you share that, it loses so much of its power and there's a healing, really, that occurs.

And so I think another thing that can really help with fears is the art of asking. I have some other videos about asking, and, you know, we can ask that fear to be removed, you know, whether it's through the power of prayer or meditation or, you know, more scientific approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy. You know, we can ask for that fear to be removed and to be substituted with something else, like courage, you know, like the ability to accept, you know, what's going on. And that can be part of it, too.

I think it's just accepting, like, hey, I'm really fearful about this, and there's nothing that I can do about it right now but just share with somebody and, you know, do my best with it. And in my experience, it is kind of like an onion. You. You face one fear and overcome it, and then another one, you know, appears in its place. And I think accepting this gradual progress is really a good way to do it. And with that, you know, is this reminder to go lightly. It's so easy to fall into despair, into these really fearful thoughts.

And so just think, just take it easy. You know, I heard some great advice from Darrell Fusaro, who's on. He's on one of the catch it on Cadre podcast episodes. You should definitely check that out. And he says when he wakes up in the morning, his mind's always kind of, you know, talking to him a little harshly, and, you know, I think we can all relate to that. First thing in the morning can be a tough time. And he said that something that helps him is he just speaks to himself like a little old grandma, you know?

So he'd say, for me, it would be like, okay, Nick, you're doing good. You know, just get out of bed, okay? You know, drink a glass of water. Okay. Maybe take a walk around the block. Get a little sunshine. Okay. Maybe do a little meditation and a little writing. Get your day set up, and just, you know, encourage yourself. And, like, when those fears come up, instead of being like, ah, get out of my head, you know, just kind of accept them, you know, let them. Let them come, you know, and get them out in any way that you can.

And just remember that. Just keep living. This question of, how do I become a better person? How do I learn how to love? How do I let go of these fears? And I really believe as you live those questions, you will grow into the answer. And I believe the Cadre community and, you know, the community at large, we're in this together, you know, so let's stick together, and let's tell each other our fears and. And not let them overtake us. Right? Because we don't have to do anything alone. We don't have to do anything alone.

So, wishing you a peaceful, positive, and prosperous day while still acknowledging we have this. This self that needs work, but also remembering that a lot of us think we need more self improvement, but what we really need is more self acceptance. Okay, that's all I've got. Talk to you later. Bye bye.