Sober Not Somber Hour

Hey everyone. Happy Tuesday. Welcome, welcome to Sober Not Somber Hour. I'm Jen Varale. And yeah, it's still September. Here we are in mid-September. I'm just going through a bunch of my networking cards that I got from . at a really great event this afternoon at Glass House. So I can't wait to fill you in on it. It was, I think, maybe the third year they've hosted some sort of tasting of this kind that I've been invited to. And it was hosted by the wine company. They are celebrating their 40th anniversary.

So they had this big party at the Glass House in Minneapolis and I went. And yeah, I was thinking about on my drive home the topic of safety. Hi, Luke. I have missed you too. Taco Tuesday. Oh, yeah. And what do we pair with tacos? Well, some non-alcoholic awesomeness today. I have-- and this is-- I just met the founder and maker of this this afternoon, Three Spirit. Hi, Rick. Hi, junk food junkie. This one is called Social. So if you ever thought, you know, alcohol was that social lubricant, this bev is a functional spirit alternative.

So I just do a little bit of the beverage, maybe like a third, and then I add a little sparkling water. Oh my gosh, if I can get this open. Dang, it's been in my fridge like freezing. And so I tried the Three Spirit. Love it, love it. It's a brand out of New York, originated in the UK, and it is now available in the US. But I would put it in the category of adaptogens. Cheers, everyone. Oh, I love how y'all are saying hi to each other. Hi Carrie, oh my gosh. Oh wow, that's really delicious. Wow, well, I guess it's gonna make me be more social.

So September, topic of safety. Couple things I'm thinking about is safety in corporate environments. And I was just thinking about this experience I had at the wine company. So I don't know, maybe 200 people, mostly drinking alcohol. But I went because there were maybe 10 vendors that actually had non-alcoholic product, which increases every year they host this. And I was thinking about safety. Like I walked in there not feeling like I'm going to be othered, like where's the NA section and am I going to be told to go over here and then also be in a space where people are drinking.

You know, they're sampling some pretty heavy spirits that are alcohol forward. And in the past that might have triggered me a little bit. Like I just didn't want to be around that. But because the two people that invited me are part of this company and they have since gotten sober since starting in the alcohol business, I was thinking about safety for them. Like, what does safety mean? And one of the invitees, we were chatting just about how we both don't drink. but how great it is to just have the NAB integrated with all these alcoholic options.

And these people, bar restaurant owners, like the people that really can make change in our social spaces, we're there. So is everyone feeling, how are you feeling about safety today and your work environment? If you had to say, how safe do you feel? And when I say environment, it could be a physical space that you go to work in. Or it could be, you know, you're remote working remotely, but just wondering where, how does that feel safe? Does it feel safe? You have to think about like the remote workforce that has just, you know, it's just everyone has got remote work options.

And I think about You know, just the idea that even if you're remote, you know, you can distance yourself from your coworkers. And for many with mental health issues and not wanting to be around, you know, alcohol at a time at events for corporate, it's kind of nice to give that barrier and have that distance and maybe makes a lot of people in this country feel safer by not having to go into a workplace. Oh yeah, Junk food junkie says not only safety at the tasting, but also on the road afters. Oh my gosh, which reminds me I was leaving this event and this truck in front of me was like sort of swerving all over the place.

I was like, oh, I wonder if they had a few too many and I just kind of. I don't know, sort of laughed about it just only because. I'm so far removed from with 11 years of alcohol free of ever doing that. Like it just wouldn't cross my mind anymore to, you know, not be safe and be on the road. So yes. Gosh, that is that is a concern. And I had someone there say he better stop drinking and, you know, calculate his wine notes because he needed to for work. But wow, that industry that industry is a lot of people have tried to get sober and stay in it because they love the wine and the product, but that's got to be tough if you are sober in those environments.

And again, like I was saying, so the person who invited me, we were chatting and she was like, thank you for showing up because they have vendors they partner with that have only non-alcoholic product. And so they had to, you know, sort of convince them this will be, you know, showcasing your audience or your product to people who are interested. So I think it was pretty fun for her to see that so many of us showed up that don't drink alcohol and we could really get excited about all the NA vendors that were there.

Yeah. So Back to safety, yes. So a couple of those individuals who have gotten sober since working in those, you know, heavily drinking centric environments, I think are questioning a little bit like, can I stay in this? Is this like connected to my purpose? And from what they say, it does get pretty old at times and like just having to put yourself in an unsafe environment in your workplace. can add so much stress, right? I work mostly remotely. I don't have to go into an office space. So I think for me, that does feel really safe.

And just thinking about what was happening. And Luke and I, when we talked on the Mental Wealth podcast months ago, talked about what it looks like. As a person who has mental health challenges, has anxiety, alcoholism, substance use, what does that look like for a person to go into your workplace every day? Carrie, yeah, you had to leave the party environment. Yeah, I did as well. And when Luke and I were talking about our experiences, he talked about having to go out to his car and take breaks during the workday and just sit there and listen over and over.

I think it was a podcast just to get mentally like psyched and like prepped to like, I can do this, I can go back into the workplace when in reality there's a feeling of dread. And that's not a safe feeling, that's a horrible feeling. And in that podcast conversation, we also talked about My experience, my last year of shifting to a very high profile position and the stress that brought. So my last year before what I call burnout at age 40 was in such an unsafe environment that I had to go into work five days a week, eight to five.

Not a lot of time there to like really ever feel safe. I had a boss who liked to swear quite a bit and had a little bit of a quick reaction to everything. And so that vibe, like knowing that you're just bracing yourself to go into that vibe was really not safe and it was a struggle. And it also made me drink even more. Yeah, and Rick, let's see. To your question, I was thinking about it earlier today. I do feel safer working from home for a lot of reasons. Yeah, yeah. Think about if you have a tough conversation with a coworker, client or something via Zoom and you're at home and you can, you know, shut down the screen, take a moment to recenter yourself and ground.

Gosh, this is such an interesting topic. I hadn't really thought as much about it until coming into this today, but my work environments of the past really did not serve me, not serve me well. And what feels safe to me is being able to choose where I want to work based on the coffee shop I want to be at, or the co-working space, or the people I'm going to meet. And that kind of sense of safety in a workday really sets me up for productivity and creativity. I mean, I think in some of those spaces in the past, I had had at one job, like a cubicle that I pretty much felt like I was sentenced to if I didn't have any meetings that day, and that was tough.

And so while it was safe from physical harm, it didn't feel like an environment to grow or expand. So I think that question, I'll put that out to all of you to think about, is where you feel most safe and where you're able to do your best work and creative you know, pursuits. And I would argue that safety and like your environment has to really be solid in order to feel that. Creativity definitely blossoms in a safe environment. Yeah, yeah, I was feeling that this past weekend. I'm working on writing a book, so I need to create really intentional spaces and have that be something that I almost like retreat to and have designed for myself.

Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, junk food junkie. I can honestly say since I'm retired, I don't miss dealing with the cliques at work, right? It's such a social scene. If we could just strip all of that out of the work day and just focus on getting hard work done. And again, that's probably why we still have so many remote workers that haven't quite went back after the pandemic and worker productivity has proven to not be suffering hugely as we might have thought it would have been if people weren't in the workplace.

So I love that. I too didn't want to subscribe to all the social things happening in the workplace. I just wanted to go in and get my work done. So I can just imagine across America how many people are not feeling safe in their workplace for many reasons. Yeah, a matter of boundaries. And as you're looking for jobs, think of how many people just filter out. If remote work isn't an option, I'm not in because people have discovered the safety of their home environments and being able to control that can mean a lot for people in life.

So I appreciate you all tuning in. Such a good conversation and there's more to come. We're only midway through September. Yeah, again today highlighting three spirit, which is so funny because this is the social variety. They have, I believe, four other varieties. One is called Nightcap, which kind of has a vibe of just like winding down at the end of the night. And some of these are adaptogens. This is called again a functional spirit alternative. So How cool to see all those products there and people that drink alcohol being willing to try some of these NA products.

And it made it feel like a really safe experience for me. Speak wonder. Pandemic, oddly enough, opened a new door for me as a writer. My supervisor called during lockdown and asked me to write daily blogs to our organization. Wow. You were asked to step up and you did. You did. That's so cool. Yeah, Luke, it was great. I feel like the tides are turning a little bit, even in the industry. And for me, a lot of times we'll hear people just saying now in public, Yeah, I don't really drink anymore. More and more I'm hearing that.

But then in this industry event, to hear industry people kind of getting burned out with it was like, Okay, we may be turning a little corner there. So it gives me a little hope. Yes, cadre wine. Oh, Luke, let's talk for sure. Let's talk blue zones and who cares about what goes into the wine and yeah. Oh, and Speak Wonder, you got paid. Paid for writing. Yes, that's a goal. That's amazing. Well, thank you all. And cadre obviously is such a safe space. I am grateful to be here and sharing with you all.

Have a wonderful rest of the Tuesday and thanks for joining Sober Not Somber Hour. Bye everyone and NA cheers.