A host reflects on small, consistent habits—like eating a daily salad—and how retreat practices and routine changes (morning spirituality, workouts, tracking body composition) help integrate renewal into everyday life.
Amar eats a salad almost every single day this past year. The cascading effect has been really, really fantastic. Sometimes we overestimate how much we can do, but we underestimate how, what an impact it will have.
So I am here at Marriott at 12th and H. I think I'm going to sneak in and try and do this from inside. It's in the 20s here today, which is not particularly cold for people in Minnesota. But it is pretty brisk for people here in Maryland, D.C. and Virginia.
Speak Wonder went on a retreat at a monastery. She says her day is so different than it was a year ago. She has added in extra workouts and read poetry every night before bed. As she thinks about next year, what do she want to enhance?
Three weeks away from the end of the year. How important rest is when I choose it, right? My anxiety spikes highest when things are going well. If I'm interpreting it as going badly. I really take, take a chunk of time to reflect.
As we think about renewal and integration, that's a lot of what I find my retreat work. How do I want to integrate this way of thinking into my life? This year I have a different word of the year for next year. I've integrated a lot this year and I'm really pleased about it.
Well, good morning, Cadre from the mean streets of Washington, dc. I, A friend was in town to do some events and we were downtown together for breakfast and I just didn't get home in time to come see you all. And I'm realizing I didn't put in my earbuds. And that is gonna make it easier. Hello, Amar. Hang on just a second. That might make the sound better. We'll see if can hear me. Tell me if you cannot hear me, I'm done. I eat a salad almost every single day this past year. For lunch, at lunch, not for lunch.
Sometimes it was just a compliment to my main lunch, but I ate some mixture of raw vegetables every single day this year. Almost like, good for me, right? And sometimes we overestimate how much we can do, but we underestimate how, what an impact it will have to do something small and consistent. Now, that wasn't small. I will say that eating a salad every day meant I had to change how I grocery shopped. I had to set aside time to do the chopping on the weekend because otherwise it just wasn't going to happen during the week, really.
Although eventually it did when it became such a habit. And then I had to actually eat it every day. And I start my meal with it. I don't end my meal with it so that I really get it in. And I just feel so much better. Like the cascading effect has been really, really fantastic. So I am here. I'm here at Marriott at 12th and H. I think I'm going to sneak in and try and do this from inside. So if I lose you, I'll come right back in. I look like an extra. I feel like an extra on a holiday movie set.
C. and Virginia. Thank you. Speak wonder. Good. I'm glad you can hear me. So if we're thinking about renewal and integration hard. I hadn't thought about it this way, but part of what I did with my retreat was I looked at, okay, what parts do I want to keep? You know, what parts have already become habits. Because for me, a lot of my goal is just what habits can I put in place so I don't have to think about it anymore. When I look at my life and how my day is structured right now, it is so different than it was a year ago, right?
It is. I really enhanced my spirituality. Time in the mornings really made sure to get that in. I've added in extra workouts and you know, we moved this year. That was a big one. So the fact that we have a gym in our building means I've added a couple of half hour strength workouts in during the week just because I'm trying to build muscle back. As a woman of a certain age, that is, you know, all of us lose muscle as we get older and I don't want to lose so much. So I do an in body scan. I added that this year.
Every two months at Orange Theory, I do an in body scan. And then that tells me what is my body fat percentage, how much muscle do I have? And it's going up again, thank goodness. And you know, all of that. I started using Focus Mate this year because that was on my list of goals to get some company while I work. And that has been super transformative for me. It means I'm learning a lot about how much I can get done in 15 minutes and how much I can't get it done in 15 minutes. Some things take way longer than I think they will, but they get done.
I was so overwhelmed by so many things, I just wouldn't start and then nothing got done. And this way 10 things don't get done, but six things get done as opposed to three things that were getting done before. So that's really nice. So that's transformed my day. I now take the lunch hour and I have my salad. That's a transformed part of my day. I bake and I cook a lot on weekends, especially Sundays. So there's just a lot in my life that I've built in this last year that the retreat helped me notice.
It wasn't a spur to build those things in, but it helped me notice. And so then the question becomes, which of those things do I want to keep? Oh, and I read poetry every night before bed. Two to five poems every night before bed. That's just built in. And. So as I think about next year, what do I want to enhance? What is my next level? What can I build on to what I'm already doing? It may be if my work situation changes, I'm going to have to do a lot of adjustments. But I had to do that when we moved, right?
I had to adjust a lot about my life when we moved. So Speak Wonder went on a retreat at a monastery, which is lovely. And it's easier to talk about sequestering than to do it. Yeah, isn't that the truth? And being still and quiet without screams. I don't write poems to close out the day. Speak wonder I should be clear. I read them. I read poems other people have written, which I find delightful reading. Tracy K. Smith volume now. You know. So we're really, what is today, the 9th, right? We're like three weeks away from Christmas.
We're near the end of the we're two weeks away from Christmas. We're close to the end of the year, almost at the end of the year. Three weeks away from the end of the year. What feels good is that I've already integrated a lot of these things into my life. But what I did do also is I looked at my fun list and I said which of those things are ongoing? Part of the reason my Fun list for 2026 is shorter is because I've integrated so much fun into my life that I'm in less of a fun drought than I used to be.
I'm in less of a fun drought than used to be. And so the list is mostly one time things instead of trying to build more fun things again. So rule of engagement number three, you can do everything. You just can't do it all at once. I've built up to all of this over time, right? My habit of doing my weekly planning on Fridays. I used to do it on Sundays. And then one day I realized that makes my son day stressful. If I did it on Friday, then I could adjust it during the weekend and then not be stressed about it come Monday.
And that's been a great, great change because even if I don't do it on Friday, then I can get it done on Saturday, at least on my right. But part of what I've learned this year too think about renewal is how important rest is when I choose it, right? I got anxious this week a couple times. My anxiety came up pretty strongly in that I had some successes. Like I did a workshop for a woman this week and it was great. And I mean it was great to do and I got to teach my own stuff as opposed to teaching other people's stuff in this one woman workshop online.
And when we were done this with this week, it was number two of three. I wanted to go into a free state. Something I identified a few years ago is what happens to me. I wanted to go into this free state and just I didn't want to do anything. And what I had already integrated into my routine really helped me because I had a couple focus Mate sessions that afternoon. I kept them, I got work done during them and it felt like I was doing the Wrong thing or I wasn't doing the exact right thing. But that's how I always feel.
So I realized the choice is not between doing the exact right thing and the second most exact right thing. It was between doing something and doing nothing. And so before those focus main sessions, I kept moving. I tidied things in the house, which is my go to when I'm tempted to just collapse in on myself, just tidy something. And then I had the focus making sessions. I actually did the work that needed doing that day, which was pretty exciting. Or, you know, I really notice my anxiety spikes highest when things are going well.
Not highest, but it spikes a lot when things are going well. It also spikes when things are going badly. If I'm interpreting it as going badly. At the very least, sometimes it's just a redirection that is protection. But. Yeah, this is the time of year where I'm really being like, okay, what did I learn? Like, I take it as you all can tell because this is the third week I've talked about it. I really take, take a chunk of time to reflect and think about what makes sense and set myself up well for the next year.
And I, I review throughout the year because some of the goals I ended the year with were not the ones I began the year with. Because January, me, as John Acuff would say, does not know very much about September. But part of the reflection and renew is realizing I took a nap yesterday and the day before because I've been tired for whatever reason. And the fact that I chose it, that it wasn't just, oh, I'm trying to escape my life kind of napping, but it was the, oh, I am tired. Things will go better if I get a little rest.
I'll set an alarm for, I don't know, 30 minutes and I'll read for 10 minutes and nap. Or I'll put the audiobook on timer for 10 minutes and nap for the rest of the time. Whatever it is that has I. That's the easiest thing I've learned in the last few years. That's one of the easiest for me to forget that rest matters, that it's important that everything else goes better if I do it, that it's okay to choose to take a break as opposed to taking a break because I'm trying to avoid my life procrastinating.
If it's inside my choice matrix, it's one thing, right? And just getting judgment over time, just practicing over time, just seeing, okay, I'm going to test this out. I'm going to take a break right now. I'm going to see how it feels. Is this me avoiding my life or is this me supporting my life? It's one or the other. Usually for me, The rest part of renewal is something I really want to integrate and continue to bring into next year. So I may, when I do my retreat again at the end of the month, I may decide I'm going to have some goals in about rest and relaxation.
Not just fun, but actual rest and relaxation. Sometimes fun is restful and relaxing, but oftentimes for me, it takes work or takes energy. I have to leave the house or whatever it is, and that's not as restful. So that's kind of what I got. That's kind of what I got this week from y'. All. As we think about renewal and integration, that's a lot of what I find my retreat work is how do I want to integrate this into my life? How do I want to integrate this way of thinking into my life? Right? I have a theme word, my spiritual theme word, ongoing is pronoia, the belief that the universe is conspiring on my behalf.
I'll show you. You might be able to see. I have a ring. I don't know how much you can see that. There it is. It prono. It's along with my word of the year, which is allow. This year I have a different word of the year for next year. Stay tuned. But pronoia is this ongoing. How do I want to integrate that into my life? What would it mean to integrate that belief and that mindset? What, what would my days, how would my days look different if I integrated that into my. And that's what I was asking about the question allow.
How did I integrate my word of the year allow into my life this year? And you know, other years it's been a real set of actions. Like fun was just a set of actions as well as a mindset. But allow, I built it in a whole bunch of ways. I asked myself in the morning, I am a person of faith, right? I'm a sober person. So my higher power rely on higher power to keep me sober. And what would it mean to act like I believe in the God I believe in? And I ask that question every day. Today, this, today, you know, I'm going to allow myself to act like I believe in the God I believe in today.
This means. And then what, what follows from that? Every morning it's a little bit different. But some mornings what comes is rest and allow myself to rest today. Cuz I You know, I know I didn't get enough sleep or what have you. I'm not trying to get anybody to believe in higher power. It's just that's who I am trying to be. That's one of the ways allow in my life. I realized I wasn't allowing the good stuff I was working for to come to me fully. And so that is the work in progress as well. And I've been doing a lot around that.
Integrating. Right. Integrating to me means habits of thought and habits of practice is integration for me. What are my habits of thought and what are my habits of practice and be in action? My practices of action. And I. I've integrated a lot this year and I'm really pleased about it. But I know there's more to come, which is good because we're here talking about it every week. So I hope you all have a great week. I will see you next week. And thank you, as ever, for, you know, walking in this with me here on Cadre.
It is a delight to be with you all and I hope you all have good weeks and I'll see you on the app. And as I said, welcome to downtown DC.
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