Sober Not Somber Hour

Hey everyone. Welcome in. My gosh, my hair is getting so long. Time for a haircut. Gender allay, sober, not somber hour. I yeah, I am drinking a soda water today. So if you've been with me before, you know I love to highlight a non alcoholic bib of choice. Sauna water. This is a beverage that was originally created by Portage Brewing in Duluth and in collaboration with Justin of Cedar and Stone Sauna. And the two of them got together, came up with this amazing formula. I love it because it's got like juniper and lemon and grapefruit.

All these things that I love and find really refreshing after a sauna. Hi Rachel, welcome in. So yeah, I'm gonna pour my lovely Bev and we're gonna actually be talking about saunas today. So the topic of this month on Cadre is acceptance. And today that focus for me, I want to talk about how community and connection can either isolate or connect. So what I mean by that and everything I'm liking to explore is actually connected back to my sober journey, which is 11 years, just over 11 years. And the acceptance or lack of acceptance I felt in early sobriety was that I didn't belong.

That was the only one that wasn't drinking. I didn't fit in. I would have to say no to multiple offers. The people like, why aren't you drinking? So when I think of acceptance and that era of my life 11 some years ago, I didn't feel accepted. Oh my gosh, Rachel. I've actually been drinking plain water the past few days. Not normal. I have so many great na babs in my fridge and stocked in my apartment that I need to kind of make sure I rein it in. Like one are fewer a day because a lot of them are locale.

But also just getting into the habit of how I used to just only drink water and water is. Water is great. The original N A. So acceptance and I'm going to prompt you to think a little bit about spaces where you felt accepted in, then others where you haven't and like what the differences were. Hi Anton, welcome in. So I was just mentioning like an early sobriety, definitely places I did not feel accepted or welcomed into were bars and restaurants. And now I am looking at what flipped for me in that equation in sobriety was that I joined a Sonic community seven some years ago and that community accepted me fully just for who I was.

And however I showed up and I thought that was really compelling. And one of the reasons that I co founded Sauna and sobriety a couple years ago because I Felt like I belonged in that space. I felt like I was immediately accepted and not judged for not drinking and also just not not drinking. But also the fact that I was in recovery, like if that ever came out in a sauna conversation, I feel like people were just very accepting of that path. Rachel says yeah, not drinking could also be an excuse to not have to do something.

Right. Escapism. Oh yeah. So what do you guys think? Where are. Can you think of a space where you have felt really accepted in? Okay, so as you're chiming in with that, if you like, I am going to explain a little bit about why this particular space of the sauna was so accepting for me and what it led to. So the deepness of community connections and, and the friendships that I formed in my life at about that three month into sobriety or three year into sobriety Mark, I just felt like this community connection really allowed me to kind of accept my sober journey and really for the first time sort of embrace it.

And it really got me excited about the potential for others to see that there are other spaces where they can belong and be accepted in. Oh yeah, your thinking was more in the sense of not feeling pressure to always say yes. Yeah, Rachel. Yeah, yeah. So I, I don't know. I love that space of sauna. And there are a few other places that I can think of and most of them are wellness related. My yoga community, for example. I definitely feel accepted there and welcome to the mat up however you want to show up.

Could be maybe you have a faith group, some spirituality, but you're noticing how these things and experiences I'm mentioning are not centralized around alcohol. And I think that's a big piece of the back and forth of like allow that community. Embracing me and allowing me to just not drink allowed me to accept myself. So I think there's this interesting reflection. Once you find yourself in a community of people who accept you for who you are and don't judge you. So are you in communities like that?

I mean, think of the other pressures put upon us. Could even be in corporate or in the workplace if you're not feeling accepted there. And that disconnect with either co workers and the people in the space could actually cause, you know, lack of job performance. Maybe there's, you know, something in that space that you just can't quite. You don't feel accepted enough to actually contribute or fully be yourself. Right. So acceptance really leading to finding and being your authentic self. That's the goal.

That's the goal. Gosh, I'm I guess really thirsty today. Yeah. So as we're coming into the holiday season, I'm also just kind of thinking of other ways that I plan to connect with community. And I would say family is probably the biggest one. My kids are grown and in college but a little bit of the connection and acceptance around what's happening in the family dynamics this year. Having been divorced for a couple of years and just having family show up differently and accepting that. Accepting and you know, the feeling of belonging that we can hopefully find in, in family or community.

It doesn't always happen that way though. Rachel says yeah, maybe it's weird but the first time I felt accepted without having to prevent, oh pretend to be something I'm not was the first time I went oh, eating disorder treatment for the first time. Yeah. The realization that it wasn't just you. I mean I think that's the, the beauty of finding like minded community that have so some shared experiences that you have but not like your, your experience isn't always going to be identical to someone else's but it can be so powerful to seek community connection with like minded people.

I believe so strongly in that. Yeah. And just being able to let your guard down in those situations and just like be who are, be who you are and not pretend. So, so good. Yeah. I just did sauna last night. I did yoga last night and let me tell you. So this is another prompt I'll leave you with is thinking about how you can re engage with more healthy community this holiday season. Yeah. Like I said last night, I have switched my early morning workouts and community stuff that I would get up at 5:30 to do.

I'm moving that to later in the evening just because I feel like the nights are really long. You know, five to 10 or 11 in the darkness and the winter can feel long. So I have moved some of my community stuff that I do activities into the evening and it was really freeing. I just, I was you know, sort of tied to a routine before and I'm like why, why do I need to get up at 5:30 in the winter and do this? I mean still enjoy it. But it's actually, I think it'd be a nice change of pace to move some of those things more into the evening.

Yeah, for sure. What are you guys doing? What are you guys doing for new community things? Anything. Well, I'm gonna get to the sauna a couple times this week. I go up to three times per week and yeah, I'm thinking about some new community connections around a new language that I want to explore and how do I kind of come into exploring this, the Italian language. There's a Italian cultural center locally and I've been a little bit fearful of joining just because I'm not fluent in Italian. I've had years of it and I studied in Rome.

Yet there's a little bit of a barrier there. Would I be accepted if I don't remember, you know, the first kind of essential key phrases of Italian, which I'm sure I would, but there's always like a little barrier right before assessing whether you would feel like you belong or be accepted into any kind of community. Yes, Rachel. I guide groups of people through sauna sessions and it's sort of a newer thing in the last couple years because sauna in America may have typically been thought of as just like a physical health benefit and for something you do maybe after working out at the gym.

However, there are huge benefits in sauna, in sharing in community because it's just a very vulnerable, intimate space. And I love creating space for people to be able to share what's on their mind and get support and community through the sauna. So I do that through sauna and sobriety and then I also do sauna social events. Yeah. And I'm starting a new kind of series where I'm going to be guiding sauna at Prize Brewing, actually and having sober curious conversations that's starting next Tuesday.

So be on the lookout for that. Yeah, it is a really cool space because people are doing more wellness related things and moving out of the bars and restaurants into more holistic like health type of things and different ways to connect. So I hope to see you in the sauna. We. Yeah, I hope Cadre. We're planning on doing some more events with community and that hopefully will be a focus in 2026. Cheers to you all. Thanks for chiming in today. It.