Comedy Through The Chaos: Parenting Edition

Hello, hello, hello and Happy Saturday Cadre friends. I hope that you are doing well. I hope that the day is also treating you well. If it is not, shame on it. Not shame on you. I am Ms. Shannon. I am a variety of word related things including a comedian, a corporate speaker, a voice actor, an event emcee and a benefit auctioneer. And I hub out of the great state of Minnesota where, where is quite Minnesota ish right now. Meaning it is cold today. So I am happy to join you. I am also the proud parent of adorable 17 year old kiddo who happens to be high supports on the autism spectrum.

So I'm happy to join you from the perspective of a parent and a caregiver and talk about things that are happening in this space. And I am always happy to be part of this community which is going to be part of what we talk about today. The concept of being part of a community. Hello Speaking week. Wonder. Good to see you my friend. Cheers. Today's potion as we give people a chance to join. In case you're wondered what is in Ms. Shannon's potion today, this is one can of a beverage called Celsius, one of those energy drinks.

Hello, hello the hinterland. I hope that it is treating you well. So this is a can of celsius. It is 2 tablespoons of liquid collagen, a brand that I use called called Spoil Child. I hate the name of the brand. Liquid collagen. A teaspoon of pink Himalayan sea salt and some chia seeds. That is what is in the potion today. And water. There's water on top of the Celsius kind of thing. So that's all. Yeah. So I plan to be hydrated today as I join you here in the Cadre sphere as we continue our conversation about community and celebrations and reflections.

It's been a good week, it's been an interesting week. And so I thought a good way to kind of wrap it up. And I'm glad you're here Kathy, because I wondered if you were going to. Yes, it is a good potion. It is a good potion. Gotta think the second potion later today has some other things in it like liquid chlorophyll and those kind of things in it. So I rotate through potions throughout the day to get all of the things that I'm supposed to get throughout the day. Because our universe doesn't just organically help you do that with just food, so you have to supplement it.

Kathy, question before I move on to today's thing. Are you planning on joining us this Thursday, since it is Christmas Day proper, I was deciding whether people would be of interest of us to join them because mine is at ten o' clock in the afternoon. I'm sorry, two o' clock in the afternoon. I pretty much could. So if people would find it of value for us to pop in and continue community, I'd be welcome to open to doing that. But I thought I would put it out to the community and see what everybody wanted to do today.

It's interesting because as I was thinking about what we should talk about today, I really was looking back over the week and this has been a good week for unexpected milestones in our house and a couple of things and so cool. All right, then I will. From your mama's nursing home. Okay, then I will join you. I will join as well. So I look forward to joining you. I'll make sure that I put a note to check out your live stream and I will be here as well on Christmas day and we'll see how, how things have progressed by that day.

We definitely keep it fluid. Maybe we'll have everything Christmas for in the morning or you might be able to see quite the chaos that is going on in the afternoon. We shall see. And that is how this week has kind of played out. So the first thing I wanted to kind of remind people about this week, it's been interesting for me because as we, you know, usually if you have a kiddo that's in a wonderful school system, a lot of times they know that people are kind of starting to, you know, check out.

Yes, keeping it fluid. And so this week has been a week of additional things that is school like spirit week things. And so, yeah, they're still doing class stuff, but they're also doing like extra stuff, like fun things. They've had a lot of activities and those things. Lots of movie days, lots of dress up days. And so that's been fun. So my favorite day of spirit week where they had a different theme every day is they had, you know, Monday, literally this. Mom, I forgot. I forgot Monday. I didn't set him in.

What the thing was. If you asked me right now, I'd have to go look on the list. I don't even remember what Monday was supposed to be. I did have my act together by Tuesday. Tuesday was wear your flannels. He happens to have flannel stuff as a good Midwestern kid should have. So I said, you know, that's okay. Wednesday was Mitch match day, which is very difficult for us because for my ease of helping him get Ready each day. I don't have things that absolutely don't go together. There's stuff that goes together better than other things, but he doesn't have anything that it's like, oh, that absolutely looks like is mismatched.

So it was actually kind of complicated for me to try and figure out how to have him do mismatch. And I think that that's. I think that I. I mean, I didn't super, like, check all the other kids out, but I think that would also be kind of hard for a lot of our kiddos on the spectrum because he likes his routine of that everything fast. He's in a good mood today, which is good. So our. My favorite day was Thursday. And Thursday was wear your fancy clothes day. And they said, as the note said from school, it said to put on your school appropriate fancy clothes.

So I'm like, okay. So I guess they didn't want him coming in. I don't know. I think a tuxedo would work. If he owned one, he could have done that, but he doesn't. I've not bought him a tuxedo, but he doesn't know if he does have for Christmas. One of the things I got him was a top hat. So you'll see pictures of that. So I got him. I got him a top hat because one of his favorite characters, sir Topham Hatt, has a top hat. So I thought he'd like that. So he has a very fancy top hat that he gets to unbox on Christmas day.

So what I dressed him in for a fancy clothes day was ta da. He has a red velvet tracksuit that I got him. I think it's very appropriate for the holidays. That's kind of what I thought. I said is that that crushed velvet feel to it. And so that's what he did. I'll put a picture in the CA Community chat later. And so he got to go in his red ve. Yes, he like. So he's gonna be able to cosplay sir Topham hat after Christmas. So he went to school in his red velvet tracksuit. And he looked fly. He did.

He looked fly. I know the kids don't say fly anymore, but this mom does. So he looked fly. He got got out of the car. And one of the things that I've noticed about his school community is that even though he and some of the kids don't super get why we do all of the little extra things that we do, he does understand the vibe that it causes in the whole school overall and in his class so he does notice that when he gets out of the car, they're like, hey, Dom, great job. Oh, you look great, buddy. Oh, you this.

Oh, I like the way you look. He notices that. So he notices that feeling of belonging and being welcomed and celebration, and that makes a big difference. And I can see it as he's know, grown into himself after he's been at this particular school for more than one school year. He's done really well. And I can see him just kind of melting into his community. And I think that that's something that's really important to all of us. I know no school trigger words. No school. No school until Monday. So it is important to go, hey, do we need community?

I think we do. And does having a positive community around you make a difference? Absolutely. And that has been something that I've been able to see him grow into, to become more confident in his surroundings. And I think a lot of it has to do with knowing that there are the right community members around him. The other thing, as far as unexpected milestones that I noticed this week is that, you know my kiddo very much like our friend Linus in our. The historically famed Charlie Brown series. He still likes a blanket that he carries around a lot.

And it's not as it. It's not as adept as, you know, that you can whip it around like Linus could in the old Peanuts commercials and car. Peanuts cartoons and the. The comic strips. But he's good with this blanket. And it's been his blanket for a couple of, like, years. Not a couple, a long time. He's been carrying around this particular blanket that is famed as gray blanket. Gray blanket is very important. Gray blanket is usually the primary thing that travels back and forth them. But because he is so attached to gray blanket, Gray blanket does not often get washed on the schedule that I think gray blanket needs to be washed.

There's often times that I'm trying to sneak it away from him when he's sleeping, but that might wake him up. There's times that I'm like, well, maybe we don't need to take it with us to the place. And he's like, nope, we need to take it. But he has slowly, over time, occasionally allowed me to take gray blanket and launder it appropriately, but that is not very consistent. I've tried, you know, getting other blankets that were similar to gray blanket. He obviously knows the difference, and he's not.

Is the same. I've had other ones. Did you watch the Parenthood when I was young boy on the spectrum of that show, and I often wondered, were there some accurate depiction. I haven't seen it in a long time, so I'm gonna watch it again. I haven't. I don't. I haven't seen it with the lens of what I go through right now. But I will say this, that my particular lens of. Of watching my kiddo as he's. Because I got his diagnosis when he was coming up on four, and he's going to be 18 next year, so definitely have learned a lot along the.

The journey. I'll check it out, Speed Gorner, because I. I've seen that movie, but it's been a long time, and I definitely haven't seen it with the perspective that I think I would have now as a parent that's been in this journey for a real long time. But it is interesting because there are some things where my kiddo could be kind of rigid about certain things. And I've learned over the last decade, really, I think that's where a lot of our milestones have come over the last decade since he turned 7, to really, like, help him navigate that rigidity, to be a little bit more flexible in appropriate ways and understand that things are.

Are different. And so. Yeah, no, absolutely. I. But I. I do think that is that, you know what you're saying, Speak. Wonder that every journey is different with its own nuances. I do agree, and we talk about that from the perspective of a caregiver. But I also think that there are some best practices that are. Well, even though you have to adapt this to your particular situation, there are some things that I think when you are. Once you get a quality diagnosis or you know what you're dealing with, I think there are some things that you can go, all right, here's the best practice that I'll use, but here's how I'll adapt it to our particular family.

And that has worked out for me, you know, over the years, where it's like, oh, okay, this could be the way situations are. This could be the way that he is processing a thing. It could be the way that speech delay can affect people. So being able to have that blueprint helps me go, all right, well, here's how I'll adapt it in our house. And I think that's been. The thing, is the. The process of sussing out the trial and error that works appropriately. And I. And for me and him. And that has been a challenge, but it's also been a.

Something that I have been able to grow into, like, not being stuck in the it's supposed to be this way. Or as a caregiver of an autistic kiddo, here's the way you need to do it. This is the way it's gonna work. And if you don't get it to happen this way, it's never gonna happen. That I've been able to release, you know, that pressure off of me and go, no, here's some ways that he could benefit. Here's some therapies we can do. Here's the way that we can practice it and then figure out how to adapt it so that it works with the very nuanced onion that I happen to live with and who sleeps in that room across the hall.

So that part has been a thing that I consider a particular milestone as a caregiver and as a parent. And so this week, I think it's interesting, and I'll tell you back up to the blanket. There have been times in the past where I've attempted to wash gray blanket and put it in the dry. The washer. And then he's decided that he needed to go and get it. And a couple of those were kind of dicey. Like, he opened it one day when it was on spinning, and at least he didn't shove his hand into it while it was still spinning.

But he, like, ripped the lid open. And the funny part of the story is that he didn't get hurt. So now it's funny. But do you know you can break the lid lock on your washer? You can break that. And what I learned is that, oh, I can replace that. I didn't have to call somebody to do that. I was very proud of myself for replacing that lid lock on the washer to the point that I'm like, well, this might happen again. So I have a spare lid lock for my washer that I keep in our laundry room in case I have to pop that mechanism out again, because laundry needs to happen in our house.

It needs to happen, and it needs to happen safely. So skill set check that I did not know that I would need as a parent, but now I'm glad that I have is that I can occasionally be a minor washing machine repair person if have to be. So I've kind of learned to work around a schedule most of the time to launder gray blanket. And this is the part that was wonderful. So Friday morning, we're getting ready. I'm trying to get us moving so we can get to the place for the last day of the week so we can just get through, you know, we still have a couple of days before we get in the winter break next week.

But I'm like, let's just wrap this week on a good thing. Keep a spare little. Like, yeah, exactly. You could have that. So we're getting moving, and I'm like, all right. One of the things I usually have to remember is, fine, gray blanket. Make sure he puts it in the car, because if he doesn't, then I gotta go get it. And there's been times we've gotten halfway to the place and wanted me to come back and get it, and that's a pain. So he brings me the blanket, and he gets gray blanket in his hand.

He comes around the corner. He had it over his shoulder, and he looks at me, and he goes, wash this. And I'm like, wash this. He's like, watch this, Mom. I'm like, okay, so milestone achieved. The fact that he knew that we should wash it, maybe that's a testament to how bad it had gotten. I don't know. But he brought it to me, and that shows growth on his part and maturity. For him to be able to go, okay, I get this. It also shows that he trusts me to go, she'll bring it back. It's not going away forever.

It's going away for an appropriate amount of time to come back better and brighter and well laundered. So I was like, good job. And it was proud of me. Like, the fact that he managed to, like, bring it to me in the morning and not in a, hey, the whole day has to shut down. Like, that could be the case that he would just want to stall out and wait for me to finish washing it and then we could leave. No, he continued his pro. No, no, no. He finished his practice of getting ready getting thing, found a replacement for the day.

He decided to take brown blanket with him instead. So round blanket was an appropriate substitute. And we got in the car and we went. And he didn't bring it up the rest of the day, and I made sure I got it done before he got home, and it was all good. Just because. Just because he wasn't tripping doesn't mean that he wouldn't trip. So I'm like, let me just do my best to prove that you can trust that this is gonna be fine. And it was. So that is what we went for the week. And so speak wonder. And anybody who watches in the replay, what I encourage you to think about, you know, over the rest of the weekend and as we move into the next week is what's something that happened recently in the situation of the people that you care for, that you were like, wow, that never would have worked a year ago.

And that's the question that I leave you today. What's something that happened to you recently that you're like, huh, Thinking back a year ago, that never would have worked, Right. Oh, thank you very much. Thank you, Kathy. And so that was what I really came away from. That moment. Is that going, wow, these little incremental things that we have worked on, these things that we're like, okay, does that. Should I even count that as a win? This thing that we're like, I don't even know if we're moving the needle.

If you look back over the course of the year, a year ago, that is not the way that the morning would have played out. It would not have been smooth sailing for us for the rest of the morning. It wouldn't have been, okay. We still get to continue and progress and move forward. And that's important to be able to look at. And I think sometimes because we stay in this lane of doing and doing and doing, and some of the things feel like we've done them a hundred or a million times that you can't go, well, you know what?

It actually was different this time. It was a little better, it was a little smoother, it was a little faster. Oh, I wasn't able to do it in the exact same way I'd done it before. And you know what? It still worked out. So think on that for me. You know, feel free to let me know in the chat throughout the week if you want to go ahead. If you end up watching this in the replay, let me know what else we can continue to share. And again, that question was thinking back over the last years, what's something that happened to you recently that you're like, wow, that never would have worked out that well a year ago.

And I'm continuing to think on those things and make another list for myself as well, because there are a lot of things. So our plan for the rest of the day, like, I know that we are recording this on December 20th, but we have not gotten around to putting up the Christmas tree. And I told myself, if I didn't do it today, like, yeah, let's allow me to put anything in the chat. Ah, really interesting. I feel like I. All right, I will figure out another way for us to put some little notes and we'll do that.

So I will. And I will ask them. That is a good thing, since they're always asking us what we would like as far as updates, I will ask them to do that because that seems very important. I feel like it used to do that. Like, I feel like I used to be able to let you know I was watching things in the replay and what was happening. So I am going to question that because that seems different. So indifferent isn't necessarily bad. It's just different. And in the meantime, we could figure out what we. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna both need anybody that ends up watching that.

They're like, oh, wait, Kathy and Ms. Shannon are on one. But, hey, we're good guinea pigs. So I'm glad that we figured that out because, yeah, that is. That is something that has been of value to all of us. So we'll both reach out and go, hey, we've noticed this. So that is where we are at for today. I'm going to go out to the garage and get our Forever Christmas tree and put it up today. I'm. I'm gonna see how engaged that it he is about assisting me with it, and that will determine how decorated it gets.

If he does not choose to engage with his mom and assist me in decorating the tree, I'm just gonna put it up, put some lights on it. If he decides that this is going to be a fun thing for mom and son, ornaments abound. That is the plan for today. So you'll get to check back and next Thursday on Christmas and see how far we got, because maybe it'll be a fully robust decorated tree and maybe it'll just be not quite Charlie Brown, but there'll be something there. So, Ria, regardless of what we end up with, I hope that the rest of the week treats you well.

Especially you, Kathy. I know you have a lot of stuff going on with your family. I'm glad you're going to be able to hang out with your mom on Christmas Day proper. So I look in. I look forward to checking in with you as well, friend. For everybody else, as we are continuing to build this community, always let us know what we can do to provide resources for you. I know they have some. Some updates that are planned. We want to make sure the updates are of value to everybody that's here in the app and that they make it appropriate for you, for you to be able to continue to build this community and to find the resources that you need when you need them.

So I appreciate you, Kathy. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Be safe, my friend. Be well. I hope the Dre treats you well. If it doesn't, shame on it not. Shame on you. Bye, friend. Bye, everybody. It.