An exploration of why slowing down and reflecting can feel activating or uncomfortable, especially if you’ve spent years in survival mode — and how to approach reflection more gently.
Reflection can feel threatening when your body has learned that staying busy is how you survive. Reflection can still orient us towards self growth and success. There's a way to approach it that keeps our nervous system feeling safe, balanced and at equilibrium.
No one tells you this, but reflection can feel threatening when your body has learned that staying busy is how you survive. Hi, I'm Rachel Havocost and this month on Cadre, we're talking all about reflection, which is very hard for me, but it's a really important concept for us to understand through the lens of mental health rather than through the lens of punishment or perpetual self growth and success. And I want to say that reflection can still orient us towards self growth and success. And, and there's a way to approach it that keeps our nervous system feeling safe, balanced and at equilibrium.
When you've spent years in survival mode, reflection isn't neutral. Silence doesn't feel peaceful. Thinking about our past doesn't feel calm or even exciting. It feels like we're exposing ourselves. It's incredibly vulnerable. And this is because your nervous system learned do not slow down, do not look too closely, just keep going. So it might always feel like you have to keep going or moving forward and that if you pause at all, all everything is going to explode. So sometimes when people say like just reflect, your entire body might go, well, that just that means drop my armor.
And I cannot do that. So that's why sometimes reflection can come with anxiety, dissociation or numbness. That doesn't mean that you're doing it wrong or that you're not capable of doing it. It just means that your system is trying to protect you. Reflection does not have to be a super deep dive. It doesn't have to be looking at all of the trauma that's happened or all of the bad things that you've experienced. It can literally just be a glance. It can be writing down a simple sentence or noticing an old moment without trying to fix it.
You do not have to do reflection incredibly fast, do not have to do it incredibly deep. You do not have to reflect in a way that is going to bring up things that cause you pain. And just because reflection might feel hard doesn't mean that it's not possible. In one of my videos, I have some suggestions for some questions that you can ask yourself to reflect gently as a way to start looking into the past without it bringing up anxiety.
Reactions and comments are for members. Joining is free and takes a minute.
