Harbor Pilots - Everyday Grace for what’s in the past and what’s to come.

And we're live on the Cadre. And in your case, it might be replay. Whether you're joining me live or on the replay, I'm glad you're here. My name is Kathy. My handle here on the Cadre is Speak Wonder, because I love to speak wondrous words into the universe. And my theme is harbor pilots, which is a real job where people go in a small motorboat to assist the larger vessel coming into the harbor. And it's a wonderful job, not an easy one. And isn't that what it's like in the caregiving atmosphere?

I like to come here on Thursdays at 11 Eastern from Erie, Pennsylvania, to talk about caregiving. I am privileged and honored to be an emotional caregiver to my mama. Her name is June. She's 94 years of age, and she just observed a quiet Christmas and New Year's. She is mostly cognizant. She's having some issues with her cognition, with early onset Alzheimer's, but she's very present when she's with me, when she's in the moment. And I enjoy being in her life and she in mine. The theme for the month of January in the Cadre is reset.

I was thinking a lot about this, because whether we acknowledge it or are aware of it completely, I believe we do a reset in January as we carry the past into the future, and there's this murky middle that we're in. What things do we let go of, what things no longer serve us, and what new things await? So I was doing some thinking about that. Jules is here. Hello. Good morning, sunshine. I love the way you greet me. Appreciate you. So. I don't know if you've had this issue before, but I have recently come to understand that my body has limitations.

Wow. What an effort. I was pummeling my feet and causing construction or replacement or repair or any kind of surgery. He's the one who said, your body will ask, will do what you ask of it for so long, and then it will say no more. But he said, that doesn't mean you stop. Very wise man. He said, you don't stop, you just reset. You just reevaluate and you replenish. He said, what you're doing currently, you know, before I did the reset, is you're walking five, six miles a morning, and then you're spending the rest of the day in pain management, which was absolutely true.

I was, you know, taking Tylenol and I was doing foot baths, which are really nice, by the way, and soaking my feet. But it was Sidelining me from my goal, which is to be present with my kids and grandkids in very meaningful ways. And so he said, just reevaluate. Why don't you go less, your feet will thank you more, and your body is still getting a benefit. What a valuable lesson across the board that we can dial it back and actually be more present for the moments, be more fully present and mindful.

Moving into the year as caregivers, we're kind of standing at the edge of what's ahead and what's behind the things we've already lived and we feel that pull. And so in the harbor pilot scenario, I'd like to suggest for a word picture that you're sitting in a boat, you've revved the engine, but you're going nowhere because you forgot that you had dropped anchor and hadn't brought it back up from below. I think that's what happens in this Murky Middle between 2025 and 2026, is the anchor still dropped in 25?

And for good reason. There's some valuable lessons we learned in that year, in that season. There's some things maybe we're ruminating on that we can let go. 2026 is holding new things for us, and we're not sure what they are. So what I'd like to suggest is let's. Let's not move the boat with the anchor still on the bottom. Let's pull up the anchor before we move it. And that doesn't mean erasing what happened in. It means gently bringing it with you into the new year. Some people use the word fear when they face the unknown.

I like to use the phrase guarded hope. To me, that's very powerful. I can have a sense of hope while guarding myself. And that's not fear. That's just careful consideration of my choices. Let's sail into the new year with a guarded, hopeful spirit and a phrase that I recently came upon. I have a phrase that I use daily called everyday celebrations. And I actually jot down three things to be thankful for, and I often put them on my Facebook page and I also say them out loud here in the Cadre. Well, everyday grace is just like the celebrations, only it's a quiet activity in your life.

And I'd like to suggest it for you and for me. As we move into the new year, being caregivers, there's a lot of ambiguity out there. The unknowns with the person we're caring for, for persons, with ourselves as we care for ourselves. With the news swirling around us, a lot of things to navigate. And so Everyday Grace could look like many things. I recently cleaned out of space that wasn't serving me well anymore. There were things on the bulletin board that were old. And it's like that's not reflecting where I am right now.

Those are old, old goals. Some of them achieve, some not. So I cleaned out the space. Everyday Grace looks like allowing the past to teach you what it has to teach you. But don't let it decide what happens next. Don't give the past the power to decide what happens next. Just gently learn what it has to teach you. And Everyday Grace teaches us presence, staying fully in the moment and not being robbed of our moments because of fear or dread. My daughter uses my daughter. I think somebody, some young person in my life uses the term doom scrolling.

And that's true, isn't it? Sometimes we just have this sense of doom as we scroll through the overwhelming information that comes at us every day. Everyday Grace teaches us to go ahead and sail the boat without having the whole map. We only need today. That's all we need. Just take the next honest step. If we fixate on the step we'll take tomorrow, it steals the presence from our moments right now. Every day, every day Grace does not have to have a sense of urgency or panic. Everyday Grace is quiet and gentle, nurturing and soft.

It's a silent industry. It isn't loud. It isn't dramatic. Everyday Grace invites you to rest into becoming who you need to be for today and who you will be for tomorrow. Everyday Grace finally teaches us that progress doesn't need to be dramatic. It just needs to be your honest self showing up. Sometimes incremental, sometimes without any fanfare. And sometimes rowing instead of revving the motor, just gliding through the water in your journey. Sometimes Everyday grace is invisible to others, but it's quite present in your life.

Sealing up and stitching up your intentions and your thoughts, galvanizing who you are. Pay attention to that. Everyday Grace is not the clamor of the headline. It's not the confetti of a holiday. It's something that shows up in your life. And the more you quietly listen with honesty, the more it will serve you. And you can be in the caregiving space in a way that honors your limitations and strengthens the things you need to show up for junk food, you're using just one or and staying in the same circle.

Isn't that the truth? What a word. Picture. If you use just one or if you're a kayaker, canoe, robot, whatever you're using. You're just going to go in a circle. Yeah. Thank you for that word picture. There's Andy Joyful. Just checking in with who's here. Appreciate y' all so much. I'd like to end Today's Cadre with one of my favorite poems by Diana Craig, and she wrote this a long time ago and it just has always applied and maybe it'll apply in your life as well. In the Cadre, I find solace. I call it my blanket fort and my launching pad because it's a place where I go to reset.

I come in here to listen to the other contributors on Every day, Everyday things that the country has to offer in wellness and self care, recovery, grief care. All of the things that Cadre has to offer. I know Luke Wendland recently made a post about what he does to reset. I know one of them when he's having a gloomy day, one of them was watching shows. What was the second one? Playing games, maybe with his kids. It helps me to even make a list of things I might do as a backup when I'm having some challenges to reset.

But if I invite Everyday Grace into my moments, it's a win. It's a victory without the marching band, but it's still a victory. Quiet victories are sometimes the strongest. Here is the quote. I called it up on my computer in case I forget a word. But you know, I'm just gonna look right at you and tell you this is what Cadre is to me and this is what you mean to me. Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with someone. Neither having to weigh my thoughts or measure my words, but pouring them all out, chaff and grain.

Knowing. Knowing that a faithful hand will take and depict them. Keep what is worth keeping and with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away. That is a great deal of comfort. If you have that with a person or some people, you are indeed blessed. Invite everyday grace into your life. Allow the quietness to soothe your soul and do a reset in your spirit. You can have progress without the fanfare. Pull in from 2025 what is still serving you. And in 2026, I invite you to honor your limitations. Dial them back if you must, and let your body serve you.

Because it's not flesh to be managed or escaped. It is a place of honor. It is purposeful. It is creative. It is who you are. Honor yourself. And I'll see you next week in the harbor. 3 o' clock Eastern is comedy in the Chaos with Shannon Paul and you can come into the Cadre anytime. See what's happening. Cadre has a Facebook presence as well. Gonna love you and leave you next week. I see you. Let's get both orders in the water. Let's go forward in a way that's peaceful and calm as much as possible in this whole world.

Bye for now.