How To Love Being Single

Hey, Cadre family doctor Carrie here. Today we're going to talk about how to love being single. And I thought, what an appropriate topic for December because isn't this just kind of the worst time of the year to be single? I think it is. And I can tell you from experience that it's the hardest month of the year to be single. I mean, Valentine's Day, yeah, that's one day. But, like, holiday celebrations last from Thanksgiving to new year. And there's a lot of emotions that happen in that time of year as you go see family maybe you haven't seen in a while.

And just being single during that time, it's another just great reminder of how single you are right during the holidays. And I fortunately, unfortunately, can sit here telling you I am experiencing it as well. I am actually engaged, but my fiance is halfway across the world, deployed right now in the military. So I am going through the holidays alone. And so I feel very single. And so I just want to talk about some tips and some things you can do, especially during the holiday season when you're single.

Like, how do I really live it up? How do I love being single right now? Because it's the hardest time of year to love it. When you see people celebrating with their families, like the Christmas card photos with all the kids like that, that tugs at me because I want kids and I want to have that life and I don't have it yet. And it's like, it's like, you know, social media on steroids, when you start getting all the holiday cards of all the people living the life that you want to live and now you, like, have it up in your house, it's like extra offense, right, than just scrolling through social media because you have all these pictures of people who are living their best life and you're like, oh, I just want that.

So I get it. I really get it this time of year. And I just want to start off by saying, like, if you are in that place where you're single right now or maybe you're separated from your significant other and you're going through the holidays single, whatever the situation may be, there are ways to enjoy it. There really are. Let's, number one, let's talk about friendsgiving. The best invention ever, right? Especially for transplants, people who live, you know, in different areas, they're not near their family.

It's a hard holiday to travel for. I personally don't travel. Travel back to Minnesota for that holiday. And friendsgiving is such a cool way to celebrate that holiday, even if it's not on the same day to just get together and commune with people, right? Because family can mean friends, too. And a lot of us consider our friends closer than family. So lean on them during this time. That's point number one. Lean on your friends during this time because they, especially if they are single as well. This is the time to just be around people that you care about, that you love, whether they're your significant other or not.

Lean on your friends. And second piece of advice, and I learned this one from experience, if you play the victim, it's not going to help. And I did this recently, and I had a friend check me, and I was really thankful for it because I said, oh, are you going to the Christmas musical at church? And she's like, yeah, yeah, my husband and I are going, and this and this, and we're gonna go with a group of people. And she's like, are you going? I said, I have no one to go with. My fiance is halfway across the world, and she's like, carrie, you could have joined us.

Like, stop being mopey. Like, you don't need to, like, just give in to that mindset just because he doesn't. He's not here right now. Like, join us. Well, I don't want to be the fifth wheel. And, like, I went on and on, like, complaining about it, and she's like, that's ridiculous. Just stop. She knows me well enough to be able to say that to me. And I was like, you know what? You're right. I was really starting to give into that, like, victim mindset of, like, oh, I have nobody to go with. No, I can find people to go with.

And, like, a lot of my friends are couples, and I've actually been more intentional to do that lately because I am entering into that stage of my life to be married. But that's okay. Tag along if they don't mind. You're the one that. That minds, like, seriously, and just drop your ego about it. And I'm saying that in the most loving way possible because I had to do that. I had to drop my ego about it and be like, you know what? Yeah. I am gonna invite myself to come along with all you couples, and I will be the fifth, the 7th, the 9th, the 11th wheel, whatever it is, I'm gonna come.

And I am just as worthy of being there. And as long as all of you don't mind. Great. So I bit the bullet, and I decided instead of the Christmas musical, a holiday party I got invited to. You know what? I'm showing up single. I don't care. I'll show up single. I'll meet other people to talk to. Met some great people. Most of them are married, but that was fine, because I had the opportunity to then chat with some really cool people that maybe my future husband and I can be friends with going forward.

So instead of sitting around moping, find things to do, like get out with people. Maybe you have to be the one to plan some events too, like, get a bunch of girlfriends and go to the movies or go see the latest Christmas musical at the theater in town, whatever it may be. Like, you have to actually start to do something and book your schedule if you want to enjoy being single. And I love what Melanie says. I agree. I enjoy being single because I have developed so many friends. You get to have friends of every kind, too, right?

And maybe your friendships look a little bit different. Maybe your friendships look like, I'm gonna go hang out with my girlfriend, but she has her kids with her because she's a stay at home mom, whatever the case may be. So I'm gonna go sit at the park, and we're gonna sit on a bench and drink coffee while her kids play on the playground. Like, that's okay too. You don't have to be in the same stage of life as everyone else that you're friends with. And I've had to kind of swallow that one myself too, because I've struggled with that.

I'm like, well, I should only be friends with single people when I'm single. And. And when I'm married, I should only be friends with people who are married. But truth be told, that is not how my life has gone. Right? Like, I was married, then not married, then in relationships, then not. And so you have to just kind of adapt if you want to, like, maintain those friendships that you have. And another thing to consider as far as how to love being single is date yourself. And I know that gets overplayed.

And I am sorry about my dog barking. There is nothing I can do about it right now. But I know that I get so overplayed when we say, oh, just date yourself. You'll love yourself, but you have to learn how to date yourself and how to enjoy. And part of that is putting that kind of, like, mopey, victim mindset stuffing that away. And I did this. This past weekend. I had a fantastic time with myself, and it was hard because I'm like, I actually am not even single anymore, but I ended up going to a show by myself.

You know what? When I booked one single ticket at this sold out show. I got the best seat. I got this fantastic seat for a really discounted price because I was looking for just one seat instead of a group of people, and I was like, dang, I had great seats. And so, like, being single has some perks. I take myself out to coffee dates occasionally. That's, like, a special treat for me, but I'm just living it up, right? Like, I had this revelation that this is the last December that I will be, like, actually single, right?

Because I'll be married next year. I'm like, what do I want to do that I can't do when I'm in a relationship? And I started to come up with a bunch of stuff, and then I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do all of that. You know what I'm gonna do tonight? I'm gonna sit around in my watermelon leggings, which I have on right now. You can't see cause of this nice top I got going on. But I'm gonna sit around on my watermelon leggings, and I'm gonna watch a hallmark movie, and I'm gonna play a game on my phone, and I'm gonna go to bed at 830 because I have nobody else to answer to today.

m. Because I have nobody else at home to answer to. And I've just been really starting to sink in and enjoy the time when I'm like, ah, I really like the single life. I can come and go as I please. And so you really have to, like, get used to that feeling, but then start to enjoy it. And sometimes that takes switching your mind to say, you know what? I actually really enjoy the freedom that I have in being single. And it's. It's just. It's such a great feeling. And now I'm kind of like, crap, now I'm not gonna be single anymore.

But anyway, so you get what I'm saying. Like, you have to. To really, um, start to embrace the stage of your life that you're in, and it might not be where you want to be, and that's okay. And you can still put your vision board together and put a couple on there and put a wedding dress or whatever on there. I know that's probably more like a woman thing to do, but, like, you can still dream for that, but really sink in and enjoy the time you have right now, because relationships are hard. Being single is hard.

They both have their challenges, but whatever you can do to really kind of love the season you're in, you're gonna have such a happier time, Melannie, if you ride rides as a single rider. Oh, my gosh. I actually did that once. I took myself to Disney world, and I got on, like, every ride. I was so sick by the end of the day. Cause I got on so many rides. Cause I was a single rider and I got to ride in the front and, like, it was a fantastic day to take myself to Disney world. So, anyway, just. I hope this was inspiring for you guys.

I know this is a tough season. I know it's really tough to be single, and I'm gonna be going back to Minnesota and spending christmas with my family and be there solo again. Done that for a few years now. And I know that the feelings might come in of, oh, gosh, I just really want what my sisters have. But this year, I'm making a choice to go into it saying, gosh, I love being an aunt. I love being single right now, and my life, I have the rest of my life ahead of me, so I'm just going to enjoy the season that I'm in right now.

So I hope this was inspiring for you guys, and I just hope you have a wonderful holiday season. Take care. Bye.