Friday Live With Risa!

Good morning, Cadre family. Just getting cozy here in my little spot with my squeaky chair. Gonna give everybody a second to jump in, and hopefully you can see me. Okay. Got my utility suit on. m. So I would love for you to tune in and catch what I have to say. I wasn't even sure what I was going to talk about today, but I got this huge download right before this live stream, and it came from a meeting that we had as a group where our dear friend Evan, who's here on the app, goes live quite a bit.

He's living in Australia right now. I don't do the accent like he does, and he gave me an idea of something that he wanted me to talk about. So when I went back to my notes of topics that I could potentially talk on, because, you know, sometimes it just, like, happens in the moment, and you. You know exactly what you want to talk about, because something happened in life, and you just. You want to circle back to that, and you want to share that lesson with people. But Evan gave me the idea to talk on the value of connection, and it's so relevant to just my life in general, and it's relevant to what's happening with Cadre.

Right at this very moment, we are really focused on building community. And, you know, we've got the new feature in the app, the community feature. And we just want people to know that they're not alone. We want them to engage with us. We want to build something that isn't just spit out at you. Rather, you're engaged with it, and you are fully immersed in what we're building. It's so important because it's for people like you. So his topic was the value of making connections, and he wanted to know maybe chance encounters that I had had, and, you know, how can I inspire people to make those connections?

Especially if you are not an extroverted person and you're a little bit more introverted, how can you have the courage to make those connections and to network? Because, let's face it, it really isn't about what you know. It's about who you know, and it's about how you get yourself in the room, how you show up in the room, how you converse with people, how you build relationships. That is the cornerstone to everything that you want to do out in the business world. And I was thinking about this topic, and I realized I'm the perfect person to talk about this, because my entire life has been built on chance interactions and chance connections.

And I will say that I always considered myself to be an extroverted person because I had no problem talking to people. Rather, in my adult life, I have learned that I'm what they call an ambivert, which means I'm kind of introverted, extroverted. When I'm out around people, I gain energy from people. I get excited to be around them. I bring a lot of energy to the room. I engage with people. I love chatting. But then when I am done in that environment, I want to come home and just recharge, be on my couch with my dog, really fully relaxed, really unwind, let my brain calm down a little bit, because I am a fast processor, and my brain is always going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.

So it was really interesting to learn that as an adult, people are always like, oh, it's so easy for you to chat with people. Well, I don't know how that is. And I just think some people are born that way, and I think it's just innate. But for those who are not, I want to tell you a couple stories and give you a couple of pointers. When I got my first job in the fashion industry, if you don't know this history about me, you can go back and watch some of my old live streams. But I talk about how my life was really derailed.

But, like, in the best way possible. When I was in a car accident when I was 17, and I had to leave school because I had a little bit of PTSD, brain injury and memory loss. And I had consecutive facial reconstructive surgeries from the ages of 17 to. To about 21. So my path looked a little bit different. And it was a time in my life where I wasn't my most confident, my most brave self, but up until then, I felt like I really had all of those skills, but so ended up having to leave school and found myself in cosmetology school doing hair and makeup and learning how to basically have a trade and get out there and do something that I was interested in.

But really it came down to wanting to cover my face because of a facial scar. So after getting my cosmetology license in the Boston area, I moved to San Francisco and worked at a day spa while I was trying to figure out starting my own business doing hair and makeup for brides. There was this client that came into the day spa, and she was so fabulous. Head to toe designer clothing, a brand new handbag every single time I saw her completely put together, clickety clacketing on the spa floor when she came in to check in and had, like, two to three services a week at our day spa.

And I'm thinking to myself, like, who is this woman? She is so fabulous. I need to know her. So I built up the courage one day just to say, who are you? What's happening with your look? Where are you getting these fabulous handbags from? How do I become your friend? Like, how do we get to know each other? And I put myself out there. You know, I think at that point, I had realized I just moved across the country from Boston, and I just, I figured it isn't going to be about my skill set at this point because I didn't even have a degree and trying to get a job.

I wasn't even licensed in the state of California trying to get a job, you know, it was going to be harder for me. It was going to be a lot harder for me than it was for other people. And I just had to really, really harness and hone in on my ability to network, my ability to ask questions and put myself out there. And just because I was able to do it didn't mean that it came super easily to me. So I put myself out there. I asked her these questions, and she started filling me in on this business that she was starting.

It was very new, in its infancy, and it was a handbag, a handbag company. And they eventually started doing shoes as well, small leather goods, handbag shoes. So I found out the history of this woman, and I found out that she had this little company. They'd just done all the handbags for Britney Spears baby shower. They were all the swag bags, and they were starting to get press in magazines like Us Weekly and national publications. And it was just this really cool inside scoop and the inside track as to what this woman was up to.

And I just wanted to be in that world. I wanted to know what she was doing. I was so intrigued by being an entrepreneur and designing your own handbags. I mean, like, that's the dream, right? That fashion people think about when they're entering this, like, crazy industry is to be a designer and to, like, know what it's like to launch a brand like that. So she started asking me, you know, we became friends and we became friendly. I started taking extra good care of her at the spa because now I knew her story, and now I was really invested in this woman, and it turned into me being asked to be on set for her.

Photo shoots and helping to style the handbags on set for brand shoots, and then also being asked to do her hair and makeup for public appearances and special events that she was doing. And I really became immersed in this woman's life. And had I stood back with just a watchful eye and said hello to her when she came in the spa and just, you know, admired her from afar and not put myself out there, I never would have been fully immersed in what this woman was doing and gotten a backseat or a view to what she was building.

So after that, I was thinking, you know, I had done a couple other little small jobs. I was a buyer for a boutique down the street. I was doing my hair and makeup business on the side for brides and working at the day spa. So learning about skincare, learning about hair and makeup, learning about fashion, doing her photo shoots, understanding what it was like to get a personality ready for a public appearance, I figured, you know what? I'm gonna throw myself into styling. And I think I've got the head to toe look down.

I think I want to move to LA and become a stylist. And I said it to her when I was, I'll never forget it. I was at her house doing her hair and makeup for an appearance, and I said, you know what I think? I think I'm done with San Francisco. I think it's time for a change. I'm gonna move to LA and become a stylist and just figure it out. She was like, don't go. Stay here. Work for me. I have a job for you. My business partner and I have been talking about you. Nobody works harder than you. Please stay here and come and work for my company.

And that completely changed the trajectory of my career. It propelled me into fashion. It gave me the opportunity of a lifetime. I traveled all over the world with this woman. She took me under her wing. She taught me everything there was to know about business, and so did the people that eventually joined the company as it grew. And I got, really, a firsthand account and a firsthand knowledge of what it was like to be in a fashion startup with no history, no degree, no experience, and no idea what I was doing.

And it really laid the foundation for my now career as a wardrobe stylist and in the wedding industry and just understanding how to solve any problem that might arise when it comes to the head to toe look. So a lesson from that is, if you're interested in learning about what somebody is doing and you're interested in learning about their life, put yourself out there and just open the conversation. Be a sponge. Ask questions. Ask them how they got to where they are. And that was the, in those days, it was before podcasting was a thing.

So even before, I mean, you really couldn't do a lot of googling on these people. This was years ago, in the early two thousands. But nowadays, of course, you can look up that information and get some of your questions answered online. But I'm telling you, if you get the opportunity to be in front of somebody, put yourself in the room with them first and foremost. But when you get the opportunity to be in the room with them, ask them an intelligent question. Ask them something that you can't Google.

My mentor, Jesse, always says that, ask me something that you can't google about me. Ask me about an experience. Get to my heart. If you can just find common ground with anybody, you can break down that wall of feeling like you don't belong in that space with them. Because I know it can be intimidating when you're trying to get to know somebody and you're trying to put yourself out there. Not everybody has the chutzpah to put themselves out there, but if you can just find a way to be a sponge, ask the right questions and really listen.

Listening is half the battle when it comes to networking. The other thing that I did and have done continuously throughout my career is I manifest everything through writing it down. So if you are trying to break the barrier of not being able to start the conversation and not knowing how to start the conversation and not maybe having the courage to start the conversation, start writing it down. That is a daily practice for me to put pen to paper and to start future gratituding. Writing down what you're grateful for.

That hasn't happened yet. It's a form of manifesting. Write it down. Every single day, I want to be in the room with Oprah. I want to be in the room with Oprah. I want to be in the room with Oprah every single day. Start to see yourself in the room with Oprah. Start to think about the questions that you might ask Oprah. You will. It will happen for you, might not happen overnight. But I'm telling you, I am living proof of this. When I wanted to meet somebody very well known in the world, I started writing it down in my journal.

Every single day. Every single day. I started writing down that I was grateful to be friends with this person. Not that I wanted to get famous or, you know, even just be on their radar. No, no, no. I made it very specific. I want to be friends with this person, and it happened a year later. So I'm telling you right now, if you want to help build that confidence on the back end and visualize yourself in that experience, start writing it down. It will pay off. Okay? The other thing about kind of these chance encounters and, and how to get yourself in this position and just the value overall of making connections is that at this point right here, listen up.

Listen up. I have lost nothing. I have lost nothing by putting myself out there. Absolutely nothing. I'll say it again. I have lost nothing by asking for what I want and putting myself out there. The only time you're really going to lose is if you don't take the risk. So if you don't create opportunity for yourself and put yourself out there, you're always going to lose because it's never happening. But 90% of the time that I've put myself out there, maybe even 95, let's call it 95. 5. I have benefited from that.

You don't know. If you don't ask, you cannot. It will not happen for you. Nothing happens by sitting on your couch and thinking about it. It happens when you write it down and you act on it. We live in a world where you can write a message, press a button, and end up in somebody's inbox. It is mind blowing to me. It is mind blowing. I wanna know nobody's here on this live right now, but if you. I want you to connect with me and tell me about a time that you reached out to somebody and they wrote back to you in a DM.

It happens. It happens to me all the time. If you don't put yourself out there, though, you'll never know what's available to you. A couple examples of that are a photographer that I really wanted to have one of my products in the wedding industry. I just sent her a DM and said, I'd love to give this to you. And she wrote back. And now she's shouted us out on some of her biggest posts after winning photographer of the year, and she's shouted us out on Instagram Stories. And it's because she loves the product, of course, but it's because I put myself out there and said, hey, this is who we are.

This is what we create. You'd be the perfect person to have this product. Can I send it to you? And the answer was just yes. So you'll be surprised how many yeses that you're going to get if you just put yourself out there. So, okay. To bring it all back, to bring it all back. You know, the value of making these kinds of connections is so massive. And if you can know your worth, know what you bring to the table, believe that. Write it down. Put yourself in the room with people. And here's the last tip.

When you are about to try these things, if you have fear around them, visualize yourself and imagine yourself as the bravest version of yourself. That version that you are dying to be. And be that person when you show up in these situations. Be the highest version of yourself. Be the version of yourself that isn't fearful, isn't scared, almost putting. Playing a role. Putting on that glamorous outfit that you've been dying to wear, that fabulous suit visually, put yourself in those shoes and imagine yourself in that role.

You are playing a role to get the connection, to get the thing that you're looking for. And imagine yourself just being that bravest person, that bravest version of yourself, that person who would go for it no matter what. Do that, be that person. And guess what? You will start to be that person. You will be living as that person. You will be starting to show up in a bigger way for yourself. I encourage you to take a chance because nothing happens when you don't try. And I hope that this has inspired you to see the value in networking and see the value in making the connection with people who are just human, just like you, who have the same fears that you do.

They might just have a different job title than you do, they might have a bigger audience than you do. But you will never know unless you try. So, inspired by my own conversation this morning, I'm gonna go out and make a few emails and send a few messages and be that highest version of myself and show up as the biggest, baddest, most awesome version of myself. I inspire you to do the same, especially in this new year. Make a few connections every single day and just, you know, share about it. Inspire other people to take those chances as well.

So I hope you guys have an amazing weekend. I will see you back on the live next Friday. I'm talking about a really fun subject that's going to start to become my Friday series. And I know we have some amazing faces showing up on the app this weekend and next week, and we just really love seeing you guys all engage here on the app. And, you know, I just. It really warms my heart to see this community growing and just to know that we're helping even just one person every single day here at Cadre.

So love you guys. Have an amazing weekend. And I've got the dog sleeping right here at my feet, so I'm going to try not to rustle him, and I'll see you soon.