What’s In Your Toolbox?

Katie did say if we were, didn't think we were. We were. So we're here. Are we on? We're just waiting for all of our followers to stay. Um. Oh, my goodness. Cadre. Welcome to Girls Mentorship livestream. Hello, everyone. If you don't know. My name is Mary. I'm Jill. This is my best friend and business partner, Jill. We own a company called Girls Mentorship, but that's not what we're here to talk about. We are social emotional learning experts. We help people really, truly take a look at their emotional intelligence and refine pieces of that to help them show up as the best, brightest, and most confident versions of themselves.

So areas like there's self confidence, areas like their self esteem, self awareness. So what are we here to do, Jill? Well, when we said, okay, on Tuesdays, we're gonna come live with you guys, and what do we want to talk about? What are we known for? And it is arming people with tools. So on Tuesdays, we want to have a toolbox talk around building our tool belt so that we can navigate life and not have life happen to us, but have life happen for us. Hi, Nick. And we're just gonna ask for a little grace.

I think it's really important to be transparent with where we are. This is our first time, so if we stumble over our words or we get a little giddy, that is gonna happen. It's not an if. It's definitely a when. My dogs are also really vocal, so they really love talking about self awareness as well. They might chime in about a thing or two, so I apologize if they get a little mouthy, however. Hey, Katie. Ladies in the house. Yes, ma'am. Toolbox Tuesday. So what we really want to talk about today is the fact that we don't necessarily feel qualified to be here on this app.

There are a lot of feelings and thoughts running through our head in terms of imposter syndrome or not enoughness or comparisonitis, like, what made them choose us, what qualifies us to be here? And that's the point. That's exactly the point. That, essentially, is how we've been able to build our toolbox of life over the last 30 plus years that we've been here and what we want to talk about with you today. Mary and I have experienced a lot of life, and I think the first time we got to really work on who we are, and we are constantly in that practice daily was about ten years ago.

Ten years ago, we started on our own personal growth and development journey, and that's when we got to finally look in the mirror and say, whoa, I have to stop blaming other people and start taking responsibility for myself. So ten years ago puts me at 25. It puts Jill at 26. So in doing that math, we spent 25, 26 years with a pretty insufficient toolbox. How many of you can relate to not feeling like you have the tools to get through the situation that life is presenting you? And that honestly, looking back, looking in that rear view mirror, we always want to look forward.

That windshield is bigger for a reason. But looking in the rearview mirror, we've been able to build our toolbox and equip ourselves with the tools that we've absolutely, desperately needed by not giving up. So, life, I feel like one of those inflatable clowns that punches and it gets right back up. Punches and it gets right back up. Life has handed me and Jill so many of those situations where it felt like in desperation, we weren't going to make it through, right? But being here right now, what we know is that we've made it through all of our worst case scenarios, we've made it through all of our really difficult times.

And being able to look at it now, as those situations happened for us and not to us, has brought such an incredible awareness to who we are and how we show up in this world in order to help other people. But it's not blaming our situations from the past or the circumstances that we found ourselves in. So some of us were born into families who were broken and battered. Some of us were born without families at all. And there's things that we have to overcome in that, but that's the choice that we have to make.

We had to continue to trudge regardless of what knocked us down or how long we stayed down for. We continued to put tools in our toolbox by saying yes to continuing to moving. Mary just said a word around overcoming. We had to overcome. And in order to overcome, you have to have the awareness. So awareness is self awareness, in our opinion, is the foundation. It's the bottom of the tool. When it holds all the other tools. It is the bag that you are wrapping around yourself. And realistically, if you're a visual learner, we like to say that if we're building a house, like if life is in the shape of a house, you can't build a house starting with the roof.

You have to build the foundation first. And having self awareness, why we talk about it and why this is our first toolbox talk around self awareness is because, truly, it's the foundation to build it's. To build upon. So, self awareness. What is self awareness? When you're like, okay, cool, that's the foundation. I gotcha. Self awareness is your thoughts. It's how you speak to yourself about yourself, about yourself, how you listen to yourself, how you speak about others. It is your attitude, it is your behavior, it's how you show up in a room, your body language, your thoughts about other people.

And I'd venture to say everyone has heard of self awareness or knows what self awareness is. But there are some really shocking statistics around self awareness. 80% of people have no idea how they're showing up or have no idea that they have no idea how they're showing up. 80%. And we can drop the study in the comments of where we got that information, but that means 20% of people have a self awareness. But we know from the work that we do that those 80% think they're pretty self aware. They think they know what's going on.

They think that they can hear and decipher the thoughts that are going on in their head, but they can't. And that's why so many people show up the way that they show up. And what frustrates you and myself is people who lack self awareness, because those are the people who, like, on a very base level, don't use their blinker or don't put their grocery cart back. Right. When we lack self awareness, it inconveniences us, other people around us, which is why it's so important to hone in on your self awareness.

So where do we get started? We don't just want to sit here and be like, hey, go work on your self awareness and not give you a couple of go to's to work on for your week, for your day in order to start refining that muscle. So self awareness, where do, where can you start? Start with yourself. 1st 1st so just notice, notice the things that Mary and I like when we talk about goals or when we coach our girls, or when we coach other people about goals. We like to talk about the person that you want to become.

So in 2023, who are you becoming? Who do you want to become? Do you want to become more heart centered? Like, do you want to lead people in a way that you haven't before, so that wherever you, wherever your focus is, that's where you get to look and start developing more of your self awareness? So if we're going to take that example of wanting to be, you want to be in service to others, okay, where aren't you in service? Right now or where would you like to go? It's just noticing. It's noticing what little things that you can shift and then put action behind it.

Well, it's questioning those shifts. We are creatures of habit. Humans are creatures of habit. We like to do things that mean we take the path of least resistance. Right? It's cave. It's very caveman of us. We're trying to stay safe. We're trying to stay in our comfort zone. But that isn't necessarily the best way to go about living your life, right? So I question everything about what I do because, generally speaking, I picked up habits from the people I am around. So my parents, for instance, one of my favorite little things, parables, analogies to talk about is meatloaf.

And you're like, meat mom. Self awareness, the meatloaf. There's this story about this woman who's making a meatloaf, and her husband notices that she cuts the ends off the meatloaf before she puts it in the oven. And he's like, honey, doesn't that seem wasteful? Why are you cutting the ends off the meatloaf? And she goes, hmm, I don't know. I learned it from my mom. So they call up mom, and they're like, hey, mom, why do you. Why are you cutting? Why did you cut the ends off the meatloaf? And she's like, huh?

I don't know. I learned it from grandma. So they call up grandma, and grandma says, well, my oven was too small to fit the entire bit into it, so I would have to cut off the ends. So there was no reason for the daughter to cut off the ends of the meatloaf. She only did that because she learned it. So when you start questioning your behaviors, when you start questioning your actions and question whether they actually serve you, they actually serve the person that you want to become, that's when you start to sharpen your self awareness.

That's when you start to look at the actions you're taking, and you're like, dang, why am I doing that? That doesn't make any sense to who I say I wanna become. Oh, my goodness. I love that so much. We have five minutes left with you and where we want to continue this conversation is really highlighting the importance of being on apps like this. So in order to continue to build your tool belt, your toolbox, it is continuing to make time in your day for you. We all know the analogy, or I'm sure we've once heard it before, around whatever you fill your cup with, that's what runs over.

So if you are not, if you're not creating time for yourself, to fill yourself up with the Cadre app with good content that is going to make you better. Positive influences. Positive influences. You can fill your. You can fill your cup up with other things like stress or frustration or annoyance. I am a mom, and if I do not make time for myself, I know that I'm a lot shorter. And that is my self awareness of, like, whoa. I actually didn't take the time in my day to pour into myself because clearly everything else is oozing.

Calling for your children, it's oozing frustration. Right now, my patient, I have no patience. So making the time for you, whether that's getting your nose into a book, whether it's listening to podcasts, whether it's coming on this Cadre app and consuming good content for you, you matter. The way that you show up in this world matters. We need you more than ever. Well, and I think, too, one of my favorite people ever, Ed Milet, he says, you're the one. You're the one. You're the world changer. You're the generational curse breaker.

And how do we know that? Because we're the one. We're the one in our family that noticed things that didn't work for us, that noticed when we kept pouring into ourselves or kept showing up for ourselves, we began to change. And when we began to change, other people around us began to change. Whether those people changed or whether those people changed, if you know, you know, it matters to us to be the one, because we want to be the example for other people. And Jill has a candle right here, and I think it's just such a perfect picture of us, this being the flame.

We're the light. We want to be the lighthouse for you, because what we've done is do the work. We want to reach our hand back and help you refine the areas where you feel like you don't have the tool set to get through the situation that you're in right now. It takes us nothing to light your wick. It's very easy. It doesn't take away from our flame. Nothing like that. So be the one. Be the one in your family that decides enough is enough. I need to start making changes. I need to start refining my self awareness in order to help those around me.

So if you are catching this live like all of those people comment, look at you guys. Or you are catching this on rebroadcast. We believe in you. If you don't believe in yourself, please borrow the belief that we have in you, consume this type of content and come back not only next Tuesday, but there is a fire lineup of lives happening all week long and we'll catch you again next week. Next Tuesday. Next Tuesday. So thank you for tuning in. Go be the light everyone. Finishing 0032.