Feeling Well Bellwethers

Hello team. Good morning, Cadre. Hello, hello, hello, hello. It's good to be here with everybody on this app where we get to find out what is working for people, where we get to be real with people. Cadre, what a blessing Cadre is. Good morning, Speak Wonders. So glad that you are here. I called this time Feel Well Bellwethers. Feel Well Bellwethers. Say that three times fast. I almost put that in the title as well, but I didn't. You know, because I've been, I was invited this week earlier by somebody else on this app to think about what it means, you know, what's something I do to feel well.

And that really got me thinking, what do I do to feel well? Right now would be a great great time for me to focus on feeling well. I am taking on some big projects. I am busier than I've been in a long time, which is good, which is good. I have a lot of exciting things that are going to be happening this month and in coming months. I'll have a little down time around the holidays, as many will. But the fear comes up as one of the side effects of success for me is fear. And one of the fears is often, oh no, I won't be able to be healthy.

That if I am busier or if I do this thing and I become successful, I won't be able to do it in a healthy way. I won't be able to continue working out. I won't be able to continue doing the things I need to do for my mental health. And so that puts in a little fear of, well, if I get this job or I do that or I do the other thing. And things get a little strange and one of the strange, what does strange mean? I start being tempted to go for it a little bit less because I'm scared of what it will mean to succeed in the good way and that it's a contradiction to my old, old recordings in my head that tell me negative things about me or that this won't work or et cetera, et cetera, leftover from when I was a kid, but also in that negative way of I'm slowing down because I'm making up terrible futures and thinking that they're real, living in the wreckage of the future.

And pronoia is actually my, as I've talked about here before, my spiritual principles, pronoia, assume that the world is conspiring on my behalf. and that I will be able to, I will have the resources I need to handle the situation, including changing the situation if it does become untenable. Now, you may hear hints of, I was an elected official. It was kind of a difficult job. It became especially difficult the last four years I was an elected official of the 12. And I spent a lot of time since leaving office learning how to not operate on top of the stuff I was operating on top of while I was in office.

And now I get to put it to the test. Now I get to take it for a spin. But part of what I've learned, you know, this whole process around anxiety that I've talked about so much, learning it over on the wall, I have all the ways my anxiety shows up, which I refer to sometimes when I'm feeling crummy, I'm like, oh, it's coming back. But I also, and I took this down, I have this list on my wall. I call this my zesty list. See, it actually says zesty list at the top. And this is the things that I came up with initially and then I've added to it over time.

I get to redo the list at some point. You know, if I think of 1, I just walk over the wall and add it. And I'm going to talk specifically about what some of the things are on here because these are the things I do to feel well. These are for me, zest is the opposite of anxiety. Zest for me is being present in my life and being pleased in my life, present and pleased in my life. And so these are things that help me feel present and pleased in my life. And it's designed, it's divided into two things, things that support zest in an ongoing way.

And then these are good resets. This is somewhere up here, it says good resets. And the things that support in an ongoing way, many of them will not be shocking. Working out, including running, singing, that might be unusual for people. It's actually very good nervous system reset to sing regularly. And I didn't know that. I just instinctively have done it my whole life. But now I take voice lessons because fun is one of the singing for me is very fun and fun is very zestful to me. So singing is definitely on the list.

I've already sung this morning. I sing almost every day. I created a zesty music playlist for myself and I did a whole, I think somewhere on this. Good morning, Emily. Good morning. Glad you're here. We can talk about the zesty music playlist at some point. Getting enough sleep is one of the things that I do that can support me in an ongoing way to feel well, to have zest, to be present and pleased in my life. Am I getting enough sleep right now? No, I'm not, because getting enough sleep competes with Thursday night, Sunday night, and Monday night football, just being honest.

And I love football, I should put this on my zesty list. But it's definitely on my fun list. Bodywork, not getting enough bodywork right now because there are things I'm learning to do on my own that help as bodywork because right now the budget doesn't allow for a ton of it. I'm working to change that. Laughter. I make excuses to laugh. If I laugh enough in a regular, ongoing way, my life in general is more zesty. So these things that support, I consider climate. The things that support my zestiness and feeling well, I consider that.

creating a good zesty climate in my life. And then if the weather turns bad, I have these resets, which I'll talk about in a second. So right now I'm talking about what do I do to create a climate of more zest and more wellness in my life? Surely you zest, Shakespeare reinvented. Yes, revisited. Fantastic. Bodywork, physical affection. Physical touch is my number one love language. It got deeply interfered with when I was a young person, so I don't get enough of it. So I'm glad I have a partner who likes to hug me.

Laughter, fun, recovery meetings. Should probably be at the top of the list, but recovery meetings and all the things that go along with that. Sponsoring people, talking to my sponsor, that could be on the list. Weekly planning. That seems very different from these other things. But if I spend time every Friday and if I'm traveling, I plan what the other time will be. Just, and that's what this wall over here, see all those pages on the wall? I don't even know how to gesture to it. All of these, my arm's not long enough.

All of that, that's my plan for the week. That's my plan for the week because when I know when the things that are important to me are going to get done, then I can relax and it creates more opportunities for my brain to think about other stuff besides. Yes, planning is a preemptive strategy. It creates a better climate in my life. It helps me know that there are no lions coming down the trail that I'm not thinking about or prepared for, right? I have a meeting this afternoon that I would have been tempted to forget about because it's pretty consequential, but instead I knew it was on the plan, I planned for it, I spent a lot of time yesterday preparing for the meeting, I'm gonna spend more time preparing for it 'cause that makes life go well.

My spiritual time in the morning, connecting with friends, if I'm not connecting with my friends enough, text, voice, in person, planning trips to go see them, Zooms, whatever it is. If I'm not connecting with my friends enough, the zest climate in my life gets worse. The weather gets bad. The weather gets bad. Things that I wrote down and added later, and Bruce's music, Bruce Springsteen, I'm a big fan of Bruce Springsteen music in case you didn't know. His music itself is a separate item on this list.

If I don't listen to enough of his music, I can tell that the weather, that my climate, starts to deteriorate. So I just have regular infusions of listening to Bruce Springsteen and country music. Country music is out of the fallow period that I did not care for the music for quite some time and back into a period where I do. But things that I added, handwritten to the list, somatic wake ups, things to wake up my body, just patting myself down actually a little bit just gets the energy flowing. Putting things that smell good in my diffuser, my essential oil diffuser.

Micronutrients, if I'm not getting enough vegetables, the climate of my life, the zest climate goes down. Taking my supplements, having structure and routine, that goes along with weekly planning. Having a structure and routine actually helps my life go better. And since I work for myself, I've had to figure out how to make that happen in a way that feels authentic and not constricting and so far so good. And service, being of service to other people. If I'm not being of service to other people inside or outside of my recovery, then the zest climate of my life is just less good.

Then, so that's the climate, but what about the weather? The weather has turned stormy inside the climate. In general, the climate's good, but the weather has gone bad today. What do I do? That's what this whole half of the list is. These are resets. These are things that I can do and I consult this pretty regularly. I consult this pretty regularly. I added at the very top one of my rules of engagement, which is I am not choosing between doing the most important thing and the second most important thing.

I am choosing between doing something and doing nothing, between doing anything and doing nothing. And for me, just that reminder being on this list, just reminding myself of that helps me get going. Usually I clean up something or I tidy something. Let's see. Walk around the block, sometimes a good reset, move a muscle, change a feeling. That is another of my rules of engagement. Sometimes I just take a walk around the block. I have a whole list of specific somatic exercises I can do. I could show you one.

I already showed you one, the sort of slapping the body down or what have you. Doing a sumo squat and then looking over my shoulder helps reset part of my vagus nerve. I feel safer knowing what's behind me and that there are no active safety hazards behind me. That is very reassuring as human beings. I learned that from Resmaa Minakam. Breath work. Taking in for four and letting out for eight actually calms me down better than box breathing. It really just letting out a much longer exhale than inhale for me is very helpful because when I'm anxious, I'm all keyed up.

Petting my cats. I have two gray cats. They are sleeping together in the sun on the bed right now. I saw them before this started. I go and pet them. Pets are very good nervous system regulators I have found in general. Being of service. It's in general I need it, but in specific, if I'm having in a rough moment, in specific, who can I be help? Who can I support right now? Who can I be helpful to? Who can I reach out to? How can I be of service to a person or an organization or the world pick up some trash outside or whatever, whatever it is.

How can I be of service? Bruce's music in general and in specific. There are many times when I just, I have my little Alexa thing set up and I can just say, Alexa, play Springsteen and then it'll start in a second playing Springsteen. I don't know how loud it's going to be. I don't think it heard, so it didn't go on, but trust me. that works. Zesty dance list party. So I have my zesty list, which I already talked about, and sometimes I just move a muscle, change a feeling. You can do a little dancing.

Emily, I know that is a big one for you and your family. And then I can reach out to people. I put this last on the list because this is a very hard one for me to do. Call somebody up, somebody in recovery or a friend, just reach out, just I do have a regular way of confessing to people in my life if I'm having a hard time, if it's getting above a daily score, anxiety score of five or six. Things I added later, prayer. I am a person of faith, so prayer and meditation can be a very good reset. Just remembering that there's something bigger than me that cares about me that could give me support and assistance.

Power poses, you know, Amy, I think my name was Amy Crawford, she had a, you know, a whole TED talk about if you stand like this or you stand like this before you speak, you just have more confidence. Power poses can be very good. Stick to my routine when I am, sometimes when the weather's bad in my wellness life. I am tempted to not stick to my routine or not have one, and so sticking to my routine can be a reset. What was I supposed to be doing right now? What do I usually do right now? Okay, let's just go do that.

I don't feel like doing it, but feelings, another rule of engagement, are not a great basis for decision making. They're important data, but they let me know the weather's bad, but they are not a great, you know, they shouldn't decide what I do about the fact that the weather is bad. And I wrote down here, do something for five minutes, do something for 15 minutes. Just set a timer and tidy for five minutes, or do the hard task for five minutes. These are things that are on my list here of wellness.

Let's see, Speak Wonder says, there's a proverb, a merry heart is good like a medicine, but a bitter spirit dries up the bones. That's a great way to end. That's a great way to end. I will just add a little caveat to that is I don't particularly enjoy it when my spirits are bitter. And sometimes I was just handed, as a young person, I was handed a plate of bitter fruit and expected to eat it. And so that helped build this body. And so I have to be very conscious to add other things in. because it's completely understandable why my weather gets bad, but it's also no fun.

So those are some things that I do. And I will say the final thing that I do is I have this on the wall and I consult it because if I can't see it, doesn't exist. So, There you go. Thank you all for being together today. I hope you have a great week. I hope you have a well week. And if not, I hope you have all the support you need to get through whatever you're going through. And remember, a ton of that support is right here on CADRE. Have a good one.