What’s In Your Toolbox?

Eva. God, what movie was that from? You sounded like somebody from. I feel like. Who? Mary Poppins? Oh, yeah, for sure. I am wearing this very interesting dress that I chose today, and it's giving us little women vibes. It's giving teacher. She pulled up and said, students, I feel like a teacher. And I said, perfect. Let's go teach some class. Let's go teach some toolbox. Tuesday talks. Hi, everyone. It is Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, approximately 1201 Phoenix time, which I know this is always an interesting time of year for everyone because we have daylight savings time, which if you don't know, we don't participate that in Phoenix in Arizona, which you would think would be nice, but it's actually rather.

It's confusing. It is more confusion. We constantly have to check who's in what time zone and what time zone we're now a part of because half the year we're part of mountain standard time, and the other half of the year we're Pacific standard time. So now we're Pacific standard time, and now everyone is all over the place. We're all over the place. We're all over the place. Luke. Hi, Risa. It's so nice meeting you. You know, we're just. We're warming this bit up to make sure we give people enough time to jump on.

Oh, amazing. We've got two for one with Risa. Ladies. Hi. It's so nice to see you. This Tuesday, this particular Tuesday we wanted to talk about. We wanted to expand on what we talked about last week. So we let you in on the fact that we had a little conflict between the two of us last week and what we did to move on and resolve that conflict. And this week, we really wanted to talk about the theme that is never letting a good conflict or good crisis go to waste. Do you wanna. Do you want to get into that a little bit?

Yeah. So, backstory, because I want you guys to understand that we, as much as we preach these ideas and conversations, we are equally practicing them every single day in our own personal lives and professional lives. So over the last few Mondays that Mary and I have been working, we have found success on Mondays. We're like, heck, yeah. What's going on with Mondays? Tgim. Like, thank God it's Monday. Oh, yeah, I love that TGIM. So every Monday we've been getting great emails and opportunities and conversations that are really helping us move the needle forward in our business.

And as you all know, last Monday we brought you guys in around the conflict that we had as our partnership and I looked at Mary the next day when we got together to resolve the conflict, and I said, man, we totally messed up that Monday. We totally messed it up. And, you know, we're gonna win some. We're gonna lose some. And I'll never forget because this was a really cool distinction and we can talk more about it. But Mary looked at me and she goes, but what happens if that was the best Monday that we ever had?

Ooh, I didn't even know I was prophesying. I'm very profound for this situation, but realistically, there's all these cliche sayings, but they're really not cliche. In the middle of it, we needed to have a breakdown in order to have a breakthrough, because how long would we have continued to sweep things under the rug before the situation came to a head? I looked at her and I said, what if that was the best Monday we've ever had? And we have now taken action on the things that were, you know, making us b*** heads and feel at conflict, in conflict with one another.

Hi, junk food junkie. Welcome to our live. We're so appreciative that you're here. So the topic of this is never let a good crisis go to waste. We have a podcast that's called what's the lesson? And our tagline, what we say around it, is we want to take all of our WTF moments and turn them into WTL because life is never happening to us. It's always happening for us. So, yes, does conflict, do crises feel good in the moment? No. They make you feel like you're hanging on by the seat of your pants or that life is crumbling around you.

However, when you can take that 3000 foot view and you can look at it from up here, you get to see what it's teaching you and you get to take those lessons that you're learning in the moment and apply them to the future you. Oh, that. So that right there was what we needed to practice last week and what we want to say about when you are in a challenging situation or when you feel like, you know what, maybe this conversation doesn't deserve me addressing it and I'll just kind of pass the buck and move on with my day.

But what happens is we. We hold on to those things inside of our body. Resentment can build or frustration can build up. And then what happens is if we didn't resolve our conflict, we wouldn't be. Our energy would really guide the conversations and we would be able to feel each other's energy and possibly not even call it out, because we're like, well, I guess this is just gonna be how we coexist with one another. Well, and how many of you have said something similar to this to yourselves in terms of, well, I haven't said it.

I didn't say it last week, so I can't bring it up this week. Oh, my gosh. Or, it's not important enough anymore. The time has passed to where now I'm just. I'm gonna keep shoving it down. That's not learning from a good crisis. That's letting a good crisis totally go to waste. Absolutely. You're not learning from something, and you're probably gonna repeat the behavior the next time that something comes back around. And that's not what we're aiming to do as humans. We're trying to evolve. We're trying to take every little situation and make ourselves better from that situation that is at its base, personal growth and development.

Absolutely. So maybe for those of you listening and tuning into this later, maybe you are, because I guarantee you, you're going through something that. That you're not saying and you're making excuses, you're giving excuses as to why you don't want to address it. Maybe because you're fearful of what the other person will say back to you or maybe you're going to let them down. I was so scared to have a conversation because I didn't want to let Mary down. And what was like that was not even, that was a made up story that I was telling myself that was getting in the way of us having a really powerful conversation.

So where in your business, where in your family are you waiting? Because by you waiting, you're doing a lot more harm than you are good mentally, emotionally, all of it. So we challenge you today to really look at what's holding you back. What conversation is holding you back that if you were to circle back around with that person and have it be messy, it doesn't need to be this beautiful, buttoned up conversation. It needs to be human. Well, and conflict is totally normal between relationships that are on such a deep level.

They're normal in relationships that are on a surface level as well. And as humans, we like to shy away from conflict. And I love what Jungfu Jungki just said or what I am thinking doesn't matter to them anyway. And the challenge we have to that thought is, how do you know that to be true? We tell ourselves stories around how that other person is going to react or what they're going to say, and they're not going to find what I'm thinking important. And at the end of the day, we just don't know that to be true unless we bring that thought to them and they dismiss it.

Right. There's a few things that that person could do with that information, and one of them is dismiss it. But that gives you the opportunity to say, you know, if this person is showing me who they are, I have to believe them. And if they're dismissing your thought, your care, your concern, are they really for you? And you get to place them in a different bucket in your life? You know, if Jill didn't care about something I had said during one of those meetings, I get to kind of reevaluate what our relationship is and where I stand within her life.

And is that easy? Absolutely not. None of this conflict resolution or using this crisis, letting it go to waste is none of it's easy. But the more and more and more we do it, the easier it becomes. You get to master certain skills, and mastering the skill of conflict resolution and speaking your mind when things are not easy is such a beautiful skill to master. It is, and it's challenging, and it takes practice. So where in your life do you need to bring something to the forefront so that you can, so that you can release it, so that you can move through it?

Because truly, when something's blocking you, you can't move around it because it's gonna resurface. We all know that. You know, I'm a runner. I'm like, and not like me running, Luke. I'm not a runner like you. Me as a running, she runs away. I'm the runner awayer. I'm like, see ya. I'm just gonna leave and never come back again. But guess what's gonna show up again and again and again in different manifestations if I don't address it head on and I'm speaking to somebody out there. If I can do it, trust me, as a recovering people pleaser, if I can do it, you can do it, too.

Well. And the same goes for me because I am very headstrong. I'm an eight on the enneagram. I like conflict. I. My masculine tendencies come out in conflict. So I puff up my chest, and I really drive people away. So if I can do it and I can come to a place of conflict resolution where I'm hearing what she's saying, and I'm allowing myself to speak in a tone that is even keeled. We're not letting emotions get into it. If I can do it, you can do it. And all it takes is practice. It's one step at a time.

And we say this a lot in our livestreams because. But that's because it's important to reiterate, especially in this world that we live in now. We live in a microwave generation where we expect things to happen like that and between relationships and conflict resolution. And that's not the way that it's going to go. You have to keep at it, you have to practice, you have to keep putting 1ft in front of the other. So our challenge to you is just that, where are you experiencing a crisis? Where are you experiencing conflict?

And how can you hit that conflict head on? Because when you resolve it, not if, but when. When you resolve it, could that be one of the greatest days for you? Like it was for us? Yeah. I mean, we've got systems in place now. All of our, not all of our woes are being addressed. Right, one at a time. But we realized that in order for us to get better, that's exactly what needed to happen. So we want to gift you that as well. If you're having that conflict, it's doesn't mean anything's wrong with you or the other person.

Where can you pivot? Where can you turn? Where can you do something different in order to get a different result? So with that toolbox Tuesday, add that one to your toolbox and it will serve you so greatly. Thanks for popping on. Thanks for all the comments. We appreciate and let us know what you think. If you want to email us and have a side conversation, we're Mary or Jilladre IO. We would love to take the conversation offline. If you're not comfortable chatting with us in the comment section, we'd love to hear from you.

Until next Tuesday, we'll see you again. Bye, everyone. We got that countdown. Nice to see you, junk food junkie. Thanks for popping on.