A host reflects on automatic apologies and suggests replacing sorry with action—fixing the issue or offering what was intended—while sharing a personal story about a gym door opening mishap and how apologies shift energy.
The host says hello, describes sitting outside the gym, and sets the scene for why the usual 8 AM live didn't start on time because people were waiting for the doors to open.
The speaker explains that the person scheduled to open the gym wasn't on time, notes the exact timing and the crowd gathered, and imagines the opener's likely nervousness.
The host discusses how they often hear people apologizing in that situation, explains their aversion to the word 'sorry', and begins to analyze how apologies shift emotional energy.
The speaker offers practical alternatives to saying sorry — providing what was intended instead, stating constraints directly, or asking for reconfirmation — and encourages focusing energy on solutions.
The host closes the video with a short affirmation, 'No sorries today,' praises viewers, and says goodbye.
Hey, Kadre, happy Saturday! How are we doing? I am sitting outside the gym. I'm trying to move my body a little bit this morning in a way that feels right and good and sensical. But before I walk on in, I figured I'd say hey and say I'm glad I'm here and I'm glad you're here. And I know the things I know and I care about you. 04. You may be like, oh, why didn't you do an 8 o'clock live stream? And it's because of this. m. And all of a sudden I got here and I looked at the front door and there's a big group of people standing outside.
Gym opens at 8. Apparently the person who was supposed to open the gym today Wasn't here on time. What's the normal human reaction for that person probably? To feel really, really bad. Hey AJ, nice to see you this morning. It's probably absolutely the thing that's inside that person's head and heart right now as their nervous system is going bonkers. 02 and the doors still weren't open. I bet that person, every single person was walking in. was saying, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I am a person who anytime I hear the word sorry, literally 995 out of 1000 times, I'm like, there's nothing to be sorry about. And then either they go, hey, I want to apologize, stop talking, which is fine because I'm saying, hey, sorry is not necessary. as much for me as for the person who's apologizing. Here's why I am an anti-sorry person. If we think about the intention of the word sorry or to apologize, let's say right now I apologize to AJ. AJ, I'm sorry. The normal reaction would be for AJ, to then put their energy on me.
Like, oh no, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. Or it's, oh, thank you for apologizing. Like all of a sudden all the energy goes to the person who just apologized. But I think the intention of the person who's apologizing is to put the energy on everybody else, right? If the person who is late to open the gym says, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I know that you need to get your workout in. My bad, my bad, my bad. The person apologizing is wanting the person who's being apologized to to focus on them and to say, Hey, go get your workout.
And hey, I know you're now a few minutes behind in your day. Rather than saying, I'm sorry, fix the thing that you are feeling sorry for. And then it keeps the energy on the person that you're wanting the energy to be on. You know, if all of a sudden you notice yourself and we are trained to do this, we are trained to be constantly apologizing. If you notice yourself doing that, my invitation for you today is rather than apologize, provide the thing that you wanted to give in the first place. Hey, I'm sorry, I'm only going to be able to be in the meeting for five minutes today.
Shift that to, Hey, I'm going to be able to be here for five minutes, so let's see what we can get done. Rather than saying, hey, I'm sorry I missed this, say, hey, can you tell me again that really wonderful thing that you told me before? Place the focus on the person you want the focus to be on, rather than sitting within that sorryness. Because at the end of the day, that's what you want and that's what they want. No sorries today. You're doing a good job. See you tomorrow.
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