What's In Your Toolbox?

Hey there, hi there, ho there. Top of the morning. Afternoon to you. We were giggling as we got on because even when Jill and I aren't matching, we're matching. You know, just that left pocket, that left little insignia there on the side. Fun fact, I went to a concert last night with my kids. It was their first concert. It's called Arizona. The band. They're actually from Jersey. They just liked Arizona so much, they named their band that. So it was so awesome. So fangirling today, just taking in the core memories made.

It was so awesome. Mine says pursue girls mentorship presents pursue more 2023 Release year inner Unicorn this is our band tee for our summer camp. You're getting it first, people. You're getting it first. The back is awesome, too, just in case you were wondering. Gotta show. We gotta show our people. Knock it off. It same disco balls mentorship presents we're really honing in on the Taylor Swift eras tour. Disco balls. And under each disco ball, it has a feeling, an emotion. Pursue more. Positivity, friendship.

Fearlessness, empathy. So what are we pursuing more? And today I think that's a good lead in because pursuing more for us, I think a lot of people obviously think, what do you want to pursue more? And, I mean, money is something that pops into my head right away, and that's not a bad thing. But at the tip top of that list of what we're pursuing more of is relationships. Relationship capital. Honestly, relationship capital will make you richer in this life than any dollar amount ever, ever would.

And that has always been very clear to us. But Jill's dad and stepmom were in town yesterday, so, of course we roped them into helping us out with the business and do business y things. And we hosted a workshop this weekend, so they were roped into helping clean up after. So they got to see us in action, which meant we stopped by the house that we hosted the workshop at to pick up all the things. So we had to pick up chairs and tables. Those chairs and those tables belong to another friend of ours.

So after picking them up, we dropped those off. We also did a little flower arranging, so we borrowed some shears from another friend. So their comment was, it's really cool to see you guys lean into your community. Like, all of this was borrowed. You didn't buy it. You didn't waste money on buying something that you were going to use one time. People want to support your mission, and when they want to support your mission and who you are as people, they want to give. They want to let you borrow things that they already have so you don't have to come out of pocket for things you're going to use one time well.

And community is everything for us. We wouldn't be here, we wouldn't be where we are today without our community. And I think the challenge that we want to. We want to challenge you all today is really looking at the people that are around you and who are supporting you and are you sharing what you have going on? Because I also know it's hard to be around friends or community or going to a networking event, talking about yourself, that's something that feels really uncomfortable. And we pass the buck because we want to know how the other person is.

But what we've gotten really good at is knowing what we need and being able to ask anyone at any time, because, truly, everyone around us wants to help. And if we don't know what we're asking for, then again, it's left on us then to go buy the kitchen shears, to go buy folded chairs, to go buy the tables. But we knew exactly who we needed to ask. And they just know who we are and how we show up for them, and they're always a yes for us. Well, and that is such a great point, because are you being that for others?

So we're asking people to do these things for us, but how are we showing up for them? And honestly, it's one of our core, core, core values to be that for other people. We want to make sure that we are everyone in our lives biggest cheerleaders. They know that they can count on us. Whether it's a phone call where they need to offload some stress, they just need some space to talk through some things, or it's volunteering at their event, they know that they can count on Jill and I, and I want to tell you a little story about me.

We're going to go down memory lane here. Hi. Junk food junkie. 100%. And on the other side of the friendship coin is you need to support them. Exactly. Love that calling. I want to go down memory lane here. Jill doesn't know where I'm going with this, but I'll land the plane. I am along for the journey. Always along for the journey. We know this in ourselves, 100%, because we've been on both sides of the line. So, right when I turned 21, literally, I think it was four minutes after I turned 21, I got a DUI.

And I didn't just get a little DUI. Wasn't just a little guy. It was go big or go home, and I went big. I went to jail, and then I went home. I got into a massive car accident, and I was at a point in my life where I was mis independent. So what do you think happens when you make one bad decision? It's usually followed up by a couple more, especially when you're in solitude. So I had made a mistake, and I didn't really want to tell anybody about it because the judgment, the condescendingness, the fear of getting in more trouble.

I was already in a mess of trouble, but I didn't even tell my mom. Y'all, my mom found out from my brother about five months later, because I was gonna handle it on my own. And handling it on my own looked like making another poor decision. Now, I don't regret any of the decisions that I've ever made in my life, because it's made me who I am, and I've garnered so much knowledge and information from putting myself in terrible situations. But that one bad decision led to another bad decision, and I worked at a strip club, so I needed a mess of money to clean up my mess and my mistakes.

So I thought to myself, what's the best place that I could possibly go? And quick cash. I was like, I'm gonna go cocktail waitress at a strip club. And I worked at that gentleman's club for six years. And I don't know if you know anything about that type of environment, but there's not a ton of incredible people that go there. It's drug dealers, it's pimps. It's the seediest people of our community. So I have been friends with some of the worst people, which taught me really great lessons in life.

And on the flip side of that, I've taken the knowledge that I learned in that moment in my life, and now I'm friends with some of the greatest people. So the contrast. Jill and I have such incredible contrast in terms of who we've put our stock into as far as friends go. And let me tell you, the friends that I had at the strip club would not show up for me had I needed it. They were the people who were there to take, take, take, as opposed to take, but also add to that side of give. So there was a give and take that needed to happen.

And I got to see very plainly that those type of relationships weren't in it for the two way street. It wasn't a win win. It was, what can I get from you? And I'm on my way to the next. My life now is full of people who are all about a win win. They don't ask for something from me unless they're willing to give that same thing back to me and that relationship capital. Listen, y'all, I made money working at a strip club. You can only imagine. And I feel more rich and more wealthy now in my life than I ever did bringing home fast cash like that.

That was really brave of you to share that. Thank you. Yeah. And I hope that you get to see yourself in this story and find yourself on it. Yeah. It's unique. It is unique. And I think it's just a really beautiful call out because contrast is really beautiful thing, and being in service to people feels good. So I just want to say one more thing around. Whatever you need, you need to go do that thing for other people. So for us, we need money. We need donations to support our summer camp. But where are we giving in our organization?

And how are we showing up for other organizations in our community and people? We need volunteers. So where are we volunteering? So it's super important to sow the seed. To sow the seed and to match what your need is with action, because that's what's going to come back to you. Relationship capital has literally just changed our lives. It's been the greatest blessing of our lives. We're on Cadre because of relationships, not because of just the people that we are. Yes, the people that we are. We matched other like minded people to get on this app.

And we know that you watching this has the greatness to go out and make someone else's day while someone, like opening yourself up to allow other people in to help you. Well, and I think this is the permission to take stock of the people in your life. Working with girls, being a teenage girl, at one point in my life, you have a tendency to want to hang on to people. Well, I've known Jimmy for so long. Well, we were really great friends. Feel like cutting him out? Cut him out. Get Jimmy out of here.

Is Jimmy serving a greater purpose in your life? And I don't just want to look at people as how they're serving you. Obviously, that's not the point of this conversation. But we go through different chapters and seasons of our life where certain people just don't fit anymore. And we want to give you permission to let yourself free from the chains of relationships that might be holding you back because they are just sucking you dry. Where can you take stock of the relationships in your life that are no longer serving you?

And that's not to say you have to write them off forever. Maybe they come back in a different season and you're totally open to that. But we hang on to far too much baggage as human beings because we're worried about what other people will think about us. But I just, I want to. Those people, those people who are taking and not giving, they're not paying our bills. They're not making the day to day decisions to make us a better person. So our challenge to you once you get off this live stream is to really take stock of who you're surrounding yourself with.

And I think if you watched our livestream last week, it was about sowing your seed. So, seed, sow, time, work, harvest. We all have a seed. Where are you planting that seed? This is such a beautiful continuation of that talk last week because you get to really decide what soil you're planting that seed in in order to reap what you're sowing, because that harvest is going to come through one way or the other. But the harvest, when I worked at a strip club, was a lot different than the harvest I'm reaping right now.

And that's all about intentionality. We are bringing that full circle. So every Tuesday, we talk about how to build your toolbox, like the tools in your toolbox to help you be better at life, how to people better. And this one, you guys, I mean, take it, take it. Put it in that belt right there. Put it in that left pocket right here with, you know, wherever you want to put it. But we're excited to hear. We're excited to hear your journey. So comment in the community feed. Let us know where you're at, how you've taken stock in your relationship, and continue to keep showing up for yourself, whether you catch more lives, whether you connect with us on Instagram.

But these conversations are always gentle reminders for all of us to continue to put our best foot forward. Amen. Now go off and live a freaking transformed life. Go, baby. Transformed relationships. Have a lovely rest. Bye, everyone. See ya. Bye.