Aloud: Normalizing Taboo Topics

Hey, guys, it is Shannon stoff coming to you for my second live of the day. This is an anomaly and actually probably an overcorrection from earlier today when I accidentally went live when I wasn't supposed to. So that's okay. So this is Shannon from aloud. I'm actually gonna respond to a follow up from my first live today, which is that we need to hear, it's okay as human beings to know that we want to hear that we're doing good out loud. Right? Like, that's a normal need. We want someone to say to us, we're good.

And so I asked you all today in my life earlier, what do you need to hear out loud today? And so I did get a comment from Anna that I wanted to reply to. And so what she said is that what she wanted to hear today is that you are exactly where you need to be. So I'm going to share something that happened to me this week that reiterates the truth in that and maybe also a little bit of the pain in that. So I'm in therapy. I've been in therapy for a long time. And one of the topics that I talk about and one of the taboo topics that I struggle finding people to talk to about is something called CPTSD.

And essentially what that means is emotional connections that typically happen with caregivers in my life. And safety that's created as a child in life, didn't happen for me. And so as a result, I can be, like, hyper vigilant and I can be really cautious when it comes to trusting people because I didn't really learn to do that in the way that I should have as a child. So this week, so I've been working through that for a long time. And really where that leaves me at 47 is in a place where I at times, don't know what good is in a relationship.

And what that means is I think my brain can feel like I'm 14 or twelve or ten or younger than that in that I don't really know what healthy is always. And so I find myself asking my therapist, well, is that good? This is happening in my relationship? Is that good? Is that a good relationship? Is that what love is? And sometimes when I ask those questions, I feel really small. I feel really almost stupid and full of shame because I think I'm 47. I should know the answer to that, and I don't. And so what happened this week is while I was talking to my therapist about that, and I was asking her, is this good?

What it brought up for me was a lot of grief. Really remembering that. Like, that's so sad that I was able to look at it sort of from afar and say, it's really sad that I don't know what healthy is. And that's because I didn't really experience safe love. And I got really sad. And I said, oh, I'm gonna cry. I'm really sad. And she said, what are you sad about? And I said, I'm sad about realizing that I didn't have the love that I needed as a child. And she said, that's great. And I said, is it great?

Cause it doesn't feel very great. And so bringing it back to Anna's comment today, she's like, yeah, because that's where you need to be right now. That's what's happening in your body. That's what's happening in your life. That's what's happening in your brain. And so that's where I needed to be. And so that's what Anna needed to hear today, is you are exactly where you need to be. And you might hate it, and it might feel uncomfortable, and it might feel another phrase you might hear me talk about.

I was like, it feels like an itchy sweater. I want to take it off. And that's okay, because that probably means you're growing. That probably means you're doing some really hard work. And so, actually, you're freaking doing a great job again, because you are exactly where you need to be and where your values and where your life has brought you to. So, Anna, you're exactly where you need to be. I know it, actually. And so I'm really proud of you for doing all the hard work. All right, friends, that is it.

No more lives for me today. Have a beautiful weekend. Come back and talk. We'll talk next time about things that we are not supposed to talk about. All right, bye. Thank you. Have a great weekend. Countdown. One more time. Four, three, two.