Sunday Serenity: Who Could You Be?

If I asked you who could you be in this life, in this world and you had to answer right now what would you say? Feel free to drop it in the comments and in the interest of fairness I'll answer on the spot here. I feel like I could be a person that leaves a trail of generosity, love, compassion for generations to come. Well after I leave this planet that's who I could be. That's who when I think about at the end of the day what could I do in this world? That's where I'm at and I'd love to hear from you what your answer would be and if not we're going to get to an opportunity to share that a little more later.

So happy Sunday. My name is Jason Lennox. I am your resident recovery champion and yes I'm still hanging out by the Christmas tree. I do this a lot in December actually November. My family would probably tell you even through March or April potentially got a few presents. We'll keep building those up this week but grateful to be here. Thank you for your patience. I moved this a half hour late this week as I was attending a birthday dinner and so I asked that question who could you be? And I play in that space a lot thinking about and challenging myself to to answer those questions to think about what could I do in this world in my time and am I doing the things that would get me there?

And I will get to that. It started because I was at my old high school this last week, Friday I went and spoke to about 100 of the kids. I go there probably once a year and I get the opportunity to share with them just about my own story with drugs, alcohol recovery. It's really bittersweet. A great opportunity because I get to share with people who are in the shoes that I was once in and I was in a really bad spot then so it's always an honor to do that. But as I was taking some time for questions one of the teachers actually posed the question that stuck with me the most and she asked you know the reality is these kids are 1718 and and we know what happens, we know what's going on and this is a smaller school and small town and what do you say to the people that say what else are we supposed to do?

Our buddies are out partying. There's not much else. There's nothing to do in this town. How would you answer that? How do people get through that and avoid those things? That can become very problematic and in this case we were talking drugs and alcohol again I would argue that these live streams are for anyone because we all have these things that we continue to, you know, find ourselves reaching for and seeking external pleasures in. But back to her question she was asking in that specific nature, drugs, alcohol, what did these kids do?

And I thought there are two components to this. First, there's an outward component that is much different than it was when I was in high school. See, these kids all have the phones all the time. They had to get reminders to put their phones away, and everybody's on social media. And this is such a different world than when I was in school almost 20 years ago. Hard to believe that's the case. But the cellphones just weren't a thing. Social media wasn't a thing then, and so it's much different. But now that's what we have.

We have social media. And much like when I was in school, like any of us are at that age, vulnerable positions. We have all the people that are around us and all the peer pressures, and we're comparing ourselves to others, though I would argue that's all of us in this life, but especially at that age. And then we're looking around thinking that everybody else has it a little bit better. I mean, I know that that's the human nature inside me as I tend to look outside. So that's kind of the outward component, and that's good to know.

But that doesn't do a whole lot for me without anything further, because awareness and acknowledging that there are social pressures and people around me and external factors that could contribute to me looking for pleasure and comfort somewhere, it just doesn't do a whole lot in and of itself. So second component, and I think that much bigger component is an inward component. And, you know, as I think about this, the question I ask is, who could you be? And I often talk about this, what I like to call a pain gap.

And you think about when you were a little kid and you had all these ideas and aspirations, you're going to keep growing and getting better and better and better and better and better. And for me, the gap between that and where I actually was was pretty significant because I found drugs, alcohol, and I went down, down, down. So I had a huge gap between who I could be and who I actually was. And so I think that's the inwardly, that's the bigger contributor. And that's what I responded to her with, is, hey, for any kids and for any humans for that matter, if you understand truly who you could be and what is your potential, what could you do in this world?

Which I think we all have some sense of, but maybe we just need to write it down. That's the starting point. And now I get to start to align my life and my activities and my behaviors and my practices with those things that I want to be and that I could be. And so that was such a huge component and again, closing that gap of between who I could be and who I am and what I said was when I can do that and I can stay pretty close, I'm never going to catch that line, I'm never going to catch up to that.

I hope I never catch up to that because that means that I feel like I've made it and I always want to continue to grow a little bit. And so if I'm a couple steps behind that I'm in a pretty good spot. But if as long as I can stay close to who I could be it leaves little room for me to seek pleasure elsewhere. I get the joy, I get the satisfaction, I get the gratification from actually taking those steps. And by the way, everything that happens to take those steps, that's where all the fun and the magic is.

And so that's how I answered a question, hey kids, if you can figure out who you could be, and I know that's going to change, you're 1718, that's going to change five times in the next five years and that's okay. But as long as you feel like who you could be and you're getting close to that in that moment, that's what counts. And so here's my challenge this week, here's my invitation, here's what I want you to consider as we go through this week leading up to the holidays. Write it down, take this back and think about who could you be in this world?

Try to answer snap of a finger like I did there, try to see, get yourself to a place where you can spell it out and you can easily speak. This is who I, Jason Lennox could be in this world. And then I get to start putting a pen to paper and looking at well what's stopping me from being there or what else do I have to do? So what are the barriers and what are the things that I'm just flat out not doing? They become pretty clear for me. As long as I continue to think like that, who could I be? And then I put the people in my life that can support me and help me see those gaps and see those barriers and then push me along to get me there.

We all need other people for that. So who could you be in this world? Who could you be in this world? Document that. Write that down and think about some of those things that it takes to actually get there. And I'll come back next week and we'll talk a little bit about that. But again, for now, who could you be? Start thinking about what it's going to take to become that person, because I promise when that gap starts to close and we can stay neck and neck with that trajectory of life, things are pretty magical and a lot of good stuff happens.

So I look forward to continuing this conversation next week. I hope you all had wonderful weekends, and I hope that your weeks ahead are full of peace and joy. And as we come into this holiday that it's not too chaotic and crazy. I will be doing last minute shopping. I'm sure some of you will, too. So maybe this would be a good conversation to pick up after we get through all that. All right, everyone, have a great week, and we will talk to you soon. Thanks.