What’s In Your Toolbox?

We're live. Hi, Cadre fam. Hey, Cadre. It's Jill and Mary here, the dynamic duo behind girls mentorship. And Jill Mary. That is true. Who is who? We get that a lot. Jill Mary. Just kidding. Just kidding. When you blend them together, it's Jerry. Or Mill. Or mill. And we are so excited to be with you today in this time of hustle and bustle. Before Mary and I got together, it was like a let's take a big, deep breath together. Because it is the end of the year, there's a lot going on, whether it's personally, professionally, probably a lot of both, and a lot of both.

So how do we complete tasks in a timely way, in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming or stressful so that you can, most importantly, take care of yourself as you close out the end of the year? Hello, Katie. Junk food junkie. What's going on? And honestly, that's a question we don't have an answer to. So how do you do it? Right? Because the juggle struggle is real. If you own a business, Q four, even if you work for an organization, Q four is usually the push, push, push. We've got to meet numbers.

We've got to hit goals that we set out. But what happens when you don't hit numbers? What happens when you don't hit goals? Cause we're in a society that is very focused on the accomplishments. And what doesn't get talked about a ton is the non accomplishments, the goals that were set that didn't get hit, the targets that were put out there that didn't get met. And how does that make you feel? Right. Because that could either. What Q four can do is set you up for success going into the new year, or it can make you feel like a failure.

And we want to be a reminder to you, a mirror to you, that either one is okay as long as you take the time to look in that mirror, to jot down what happened, why it happened. To take some time to reflect, I think, is basically the best way to put it. Something that's very important for Jill and I is who goals as opposed to do goals. We're very focused on the doing. So I check this off, this off, this off, this off, and we forget who we became in the process. Because even if we didn't hit the goal, even if we fell short of the target, we still refined who we were in the moment.

We like to call them transferable skills. So we were persistent. Right. We had to prioritize certain things in order to get certain things done. And even if we didn't get the goal, our persistence is going to transfer to next year. Our ability to prioritize is going to transfer for to next year. And I think it's very easy to overlook those things because a comparison is the thief of joy. And we're watching everybody else celebrate and do things that they accomplished when who really knows if that's the case or not.

I love that. How do we know that to be true? Mary and I went out to breakfast a couple of days ago, and it felt like the entire city was out and about at breakfast with us at breakfast shopping. And we were like, man, did people just. It was a Thursday at 11:00. Yeah. Did people, are people done with the month? And then of course, it makes us, you know, question and compare and all of the things. So if you're finding yourself having those similar conversations to what we just said, it's okay, it's okay.

At first, just acknowledge it. Like, I'm feeling stressed, I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'm feeling not enough, whatever that is for you. Honor, honor that feeling, accept it, and then do a little of this inner work, this inner dialogue of, okay, well, what do I need to do to keep moving forward? Because I don't know about you. When there's a lot of things on my to do list, sometimes the best thing that I like to do is do nothing at all. I'm like, how can I avoid versus, like, getting it done? And it's gonna make me feel better.

So don't get caught in the like, oh, I'll just wait till the new year to have it be easier or pick it back up or whatever that may be. How do you look at it and just chunk it down, feel the feelings, look at what you can accomplish today so that it can take you into tomorrow. And this week, not having you feel like, man, I got a lot that I have to accomplish and do starting in January, and I already feel like a loser, so why do I do it 100%? One thing that I love, junk food junkies, that I teach youngers, that youngsters, that failed goals make you stronger to achieve your next goal.

And that is awesome. But it's easier said than done as well, right? So if somebody were to tell me that, I would say, you know, okay, easy for you to say, right? It is the constant reminder of these failed goals and making sure that we're looking back over who we've become in that time period to understand just how much those failed goals have actually probably helped further our cause than they have not. Because if everything were easy, to your point, there's no day without night, there's no light without dark.

We have to experience the contrast between what failing feels like and what succeeding feels like in order to understand how integral failing really is to the overall goal of whatever it is in life. Right? Because failing does make you stronger. It makes you take a look in the mirror and say, where am I falling short? And why? Because maybe you're focusing too much of your attention on one area, your life, when the other area of your life is actually what needs to be focused on. So I think reflection in this part of the year is so important in order to not get lost in the quote unquote failures.

We don't even like to call them failures because it's such a negative connotation really. It's a room for opportunity. And maybe in the reflection you might see that it wasn't actually your goal at all, it was just something you yearned for. I think that's an important call out as well. Is it something you actually had on a goal? Or maybe is it something somebody else wanted you to achieve and you are leaning into their embodiment of you? There's a lot of, there's a lot of notions that can get lost in that if we're not careful to sit down and actually chunk it down, like Jill said, into what was important, what was not, what do we need to move forward with into the new year in order to feel like we're actually succeeding?

Katie, I love that you said I have to focus on what I did accomplish and what went right and remain positive and learn from what didn't. That little shift is so critical in this conversation, and it takes practice. You all. It really does. We're practicing it all the time, literally every single day. So that mindset shift really is, it's asking yourself, did I do my best today? And maybe it wasn't like how you performed yesterday or last week or whatever, but did I do enough to be able to put my head on my pillow and go to bed saying, you know what I did, and tomorrow I'm going to pick it back up and I'm going to do it better.

So find yourself in this story and where you are right now, because don't wait until January. Don't get caught up in the new year's resolutions, even though they're important. Absolutely. But like Mary was saying, it's the reflection. It's taking the time to reflect and ask yourself, where am I, how am I doing? What do I need to get done in order to feel like I've done my best to then really set myself up for 2024? And I think it's important to close with who you surround yourself with. Surround yourself with people that are going to hold you accountable to your goals yet be the soft space for you to land when you need it.

You don't want people that are going to be complacent with you and say, you know what? It's fine. Take a seat on the couch. Let's binge 12 hours worth of Netflix together. It is okay to sit down for the moment. Jill pointed this out earlier in order to then move forward and chunk down those goals. But make sure you're surrounding yourself with people who are going to hold you accountable and help pick you up when you fall down. That is uber important in order to be able to move forward. And sometimes you're going to have to make some tough decisions where it concerns the people you're surrounding yourself with.

Slice them, dice them, move them in a new bucket. We've talked about friendship buckets several times on this app because even as adults, we struggle with knowing who's for us and who might not have our best interests at heart. So surround yourself, which we point this out a lot. If you're on the other end of the screen, you're clearly concerned about who you're surrounding yourself with and the messaging that you're allowing into your life. So I would encourage you, we would encourage you to make this not your only live of the week.

There are several incredible creators popping on today, tomorrow, the next day in order to help you be the best version of yourself. Because when you're the best version of yourself, you help other people rise to the occasion, and that's surrounding yourself with the people you want to be surrounded from. And thanks for allowing us to be a part of it. We love walking hand in hand with you on your journey, and everybody's journey is going to look different. So bravo. You should celebrate that you showed up today.

You got poured into just a little bit. These intentional reminders help you in all of your interactions for the rest of the day and the people that you come across. So go out and do great things, do your best today, and know you have two cheerleaders rooting for you. And we hope that you're rooting for us as well because we're no different than you. Absolutely. And we need the accountability and the help as well. So the next time we'll be on is obviously next week, and it will be the day after Christmas.

So if you celebrate Christmas. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays. Excited to hear how your family celebrations have gone and how you decided to celebrate the holidays. Have a good one, you guys. We'll see you next week. Adio. Bye.