Welcome to the first installment of our three-part series focused on establishing healthy boundaries. This series is designed to guide you through the process of setting effective boundaries in various aspects of life, including managing conflicts and aligning your actions with your personal values. In our opening video, Evan, our expert mental health and addiction therapist, will delve into the two primary types of boundaries and explain how they are crucial in shaping our decisions and relationships. Join us as we embark on this journey towards self-awareness and improved interpersonal dynamics.
Evan is your resident mental health and addiction therapist. He says often we don't use boundaries in the most appropriate way. Over the next three videos, he'll break down the most effective ways to set boundaries.
Core boundaries are limits we set for ourselves. This guides all of our actions and behaviors based on our values. Core boundaries really set the stage for the relational boundaries we set with others. In the next video, we'll talk about the two different types of relational boundaries and when to set them.
We often hear about the term boundaries when discussing relationships, mental health, or personal development. But I find that often we don't use boundaries in the most appropriate way, or we don't have a full understanding of how to most effectively use them in our lives. I'm Evan, your resident mental health and addiction therapist, and over the next three videos, I'm going to break down the most effective ways to set boundaries, but truly to understand the different types and how we can apply them.
I found that when it comes to boundaries, there are two overarching types. Those are internal boundaries or core boundaries, boundaries that we set for ourself. And then external boundaries are what I like to refer to as relational boundaries, boundaries we set for others. But first, let's break down the concept of core boundaries. When it comes to our core boundaries, these are internal. These are limits we set for ourselves. This guides all of our actions and behaviors based on our values, what's important to us, and what we want for ourselves.
It's about reaching our goals. It's about staying safe, physically and emotionally. Here are some examples. An example of a core boundary may be the standards you set for your own health. For example, how often you exercise? What do you eat? It could be your emotional health. How often do you go to therapy? These are standards that you try to abide by to live up to your values and ideals. A similar example would be when I work with clients on their chemical health. For example, they may struggle with an addiction and choose to drink no alcohol whatsoever.
Or maybe you don't have a problem with addiction, and you choose not to drink more than five drinks because you don't want a hangover on Sunday. The reason I'm bringing up core boundaries in this series and touching on it now is because they set the basis for all your other decisions. And that includes the relationship you have with other people, what you accept in the relationship, and what you're willing to give and take. One of the best definitions of relational boundaries I've heard is the distance that you set between yourself and others to stay emotionally safe.
For example, do you need more time to recharge? How often are you hanging out with people? How intimate do you allow yourself to be? How safe do you feel with other people? Now boundaries really come into play when it comes to situations that may be conflictual. It may be with a friend, a family member, or very often in a professional setting where something in the relationship is not working for you, or that person may be acting unreasonable in many ways. So relational boundaries are about communicating.
It's about telling other people what those limits are, what you're willing to tolerate, and doing it in the most respectful manner possible. So moving forward, we're going to break down the different types of relational boundaries and when it's most appropriate to set them. Remember that core boundaries really set the stage for the relational boundaries we set with others. Whether it's our romantic relationships, personal, professional, it's important to have a well established set of boundaries.
So in the next video, I'm going to talk about the two different types of relational boundaries and when to set them. And those are our frontline boundaries and our ultimate boundaries. If our frontline boundaries don't work, so don't miss that, go check out part two.
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