What Can I Give?

Hi. How are you today? Nick Hanson from Cadre. And today I want to give you three concrete ways that you can do almost immediately in the realm of service that will change your life. Right. It will change your perception. It will open your eyes up in a new way, and I think it makes life more fun and. And exciting. So a little bit of backstory before I was introduced to service, really, in a twelve step program, is where I had relearned that in my life. And I think when I was drinking and using and suffering some mental health challenges, I was so wrapped up in my own world and my own vision and what I could get and what I could take and who I could be.

And, you know, I think that was. I just didn't know any better, you know, at that time. But since I have learned more and I know that it is still important to, you know, have self care and, you know, take care of the material needs that we have. But service has really, you know, transformed my life, and I think it can transform yours, too. So here's a couple of concrete ways that you can do that. So I heard someone share this recently, and it's so powerful when you walk into a room, instead of asking, what can I take?

Ask, what can I give? And this can shift the whole conversation, right? If it's a work meeting, instead of thinking, what can I take here? What can I give here? What can I give to my coworkers? How can I help? If it's a family event, it's a wedding you're going to, how can I. What can I give here? You know, is it just being a good guest? Is it maybe helping, you know, somebody carry something in, you know, whatever it is, what can I. What can I give here? And I think that one question can really radically transform things, and I need to, you know, remember that.

And it doesn't mean that you don't want to take and receive things, you know, because sometimes it can be difficult to receive, especially if you're used to giving a lot of help. So it's always that, that fine balance, you know, but that. That question, what can I give, you know, can really help? Another example of something you could do is just a small thing that can. That can pay big dividends, right? And so it was when I was introduced into the. The twelve step meeting world. You know, it's sometimes recommended that newcomers take a service commitment, like making the coffee before the meeting.

And now for someone like me, that was so beneficial because I was like, me, make the coffee. I should be running this thing you know, but sure enough, I make the coffee, I get there a little bit early, I start meeting other people. I become a part of this thing going on. And I learned, really, a real life skill that I didn't know how to make a big vat of coffee before that. And then, sure enough, a job after I got sober, I was required to make big things of coffee. And I had learned that. And to me, that's my higher power, placing that new experience in my life.

And another thing I learned in a twelve step program was this idea of anonymous acts of kindness. This could be doing acts of kindness where the person doesn't know that you did it. So maybe shoveling a neighbor's walk or sending a nice gift to somebody, whatever it is, and this anonymity can help take it. So it's not so much about my ego. Cause I'm a validation junkie in so many ways. I love to be recognized, to be noticed. And I think there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, it's part of the culture of how we grow up and the way that the school is set up and life is this reward system of sorts.

But if I get too wrapped up into that, it throws me off. I can't derive happiness from that. So this kind of slight shift to service action can really help. And I think if you really boil it down to one thing, if you can ask, what can I give? As opposed to what can I take? Things could really, really change in your life. And I know when I'm focused on others of what I can, you know, bring into the stream of life, then my happiness just goes up without even thinking about it, you know? But if I get too bogged down in my own mind, I used to have a line.

The thing about the mind is that when it's on the grind, it might never stop. I still use that line a lot. And, you know, now it's like I have a way to stop that mind grind, and it's helping you with something, you know? Because then I'm not thinking about myself. So that is my tip for you tonight. What can I give? Thank you for listening. I hope that this helped you. Please let me know if it did, and let me know what happens in your life after you start asking that question. Anyways, thank you for joining me tonight.

I hope you have a good one. Talk to you later. Bye.